


It Takes As Long As It Takes

by Tayqueendom



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: A story about life, Additional Characters to be added, All Feedback Appreciated, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Anya & Lexa (The 100) Are Siblings, Artist Clarke Griffin, Businesswoman Lexa, CEO Lexa (The 100), Drama & Romance, Emotions, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, Fighting each other for each other, Humor, I'll try not to spoil stuff with these tags, One night stand turns into multiple nights, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Abuse, Sex, Story/Plot, Surprises, Sweetness, Violence though a G rated summery is always available for those chapters, not a slow burn, twists and turns, working through emotions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-18
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2019-11-23 09:31:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 36
Words: 73,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18150101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tayqueendom/pseuds/Tayqueendom
Summary: A Modern Au. Clarke and Lexa meet at her art gallery during a charity auction. Lexa bids and wins Clarke's painting and asks her out, but Clarke has other plans for their night together. Angst and humor, twists and turns, and the feels take place. Secrets are revealed and how does our favorite couple deal with it?





	1. Meeting the Fire of the Underworld

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's get this show on the road, Cricket get the bags, let's move it heifer! My first fic let's see what happens. For the people who read this who know me personally, please don't judge me. Clarke and Lexa meet each other, and things heat up, but one is moving faster than the other. (Which one? Hmm idk, you decide)

Clarke arrives early, in a royal blue dress that hugs her body in the best way. Her Golden hair is in a full, delicate - but purposefully a smidge messy - bun. She is nervous, ok nervous would be an understatement, but that doesn’t mean she’s not confident. She has done this a few times already and each time, it gets a little easier. These snobby suit types are not her cup of tea, but she would go bankrupt without them.

_'If you can’t beat em join em.'_

Her Gallery will be full of the rich in two hours, and Clarke is in the middle of her final walk through, checking if all art pieces are displayed properly and if there is a bid book in the vicinity of each.

She stops in front of her piece, and for a second thinks she should take it down, but she ends up scolding herself and decides to let it be. The painting is about three feet wide by two-and-a-half feet long; not including the ebony black frame that adds a three-inch border. It is of a bare, dark clearing, with leafless dead trees winding around each other to create a structure; a sort of shelter. It’s an oil painting, dark and shadowed, haunted but somehow communicates strength and perseverance.

Doors open and the well-dressed trample in, cheap stickered name tags given to every guest, much to Clarke’s amusement. Talking and soft music fill the air, connections and deals are being made, and wallets are hopefully opening. Clarke spends a little time in the beginning near the entrance, shaking hands here and sharp nods of greetings there. After a short while, she takes a deep breath and starts walking to a podium at the back of the room. She stands on a tiny step stool behind the podium and nods the ok to turn on the microphone that is set stationary in front of her.

Clarke: (Friendly & businesslike) “Good evening! Welcome everyone, gather round.”

 _‘everyone shut the hell up and move already.’_ she thinks.

Though most of her expected guest have already listened and gathered close, some late few are speed walking from the front of the room. That is when their eyes first meet…

Clarke: “Umm…” _‘Green eyes like the flames of the underworld and a jaw line that cuts glass…' (Blank) '…Holy hell people are staring at me and I’m not speaking!’_ *Clears throat* (tries to remember what to say) “Good evening everyone! My name is Clarke Griffin, and I am the owner of the gallery and your host for tonight.”

Crowd: *Light applause and few jackasses whistle*

She forces herself to tear her eyes from those emerald gems and starts randomly looking at people around her.

Clarke: “Tonight is a special night; it is our annual charity auction! Tonight, we have some marvelous masterpieces, from classical pieces of sculpture and painting, to contemporary pieces made up of whatever the hell media the artist found…”

Crowd: *Laughs*

Clarke: *Fake chuckles* “…Oh yes! We have a variety this year! There is a small book by each piece of art, either attached to the wall or on a small table nearby. If you wish to bid on a piece, you write your first and last name down on the left line, and the amount you would like to bid on the right. A portion of each winning bid will be donated to multiple animal shelters statewide. So, without further ado, servers will be circulating drinks and snacks are over on the table. Let the auction begin!”

Crowd: *Applause*

She scans the crowd for that enchanted forest, that stoic mystery, but the blonde doesn’t find her in the dispersing mob. _‘I swear to god, Raven has screwed with my head, now I’m imaging a people... This goddess? Maybe Raven is right, I have too much pent-up energy. All I need is to find a body to relieve my stress.’_ A server walks up to her, they hand her a glass of white wine, she is sure to slowly nurse this one glass throughout the night. One glass is all she allows herself.

It’s one of her only rules.

\-----------------------------------------------------

The night rolls on, she decides to walk around the space looking at bid books and making sure her guests are respecting the pieces of art she so gladly houses tonight. After a stroll around all of the pieces, Clarke ends up in front of her painting. She holds her breath and steps forward to look at the bid book that hangs on the wall next to her work. There are a few bids ranging from fifty-thousand to  a hundred-thousand, but the last bid on the page is a bid no one will top, and if someone did she would surly have a heart attack; if she’s not having one already. On the left its written in charming, almost Elizabethan quality, cursive, “Alexandria Woods”. On the right, the amount that made the blonde’s eyes pop out of her head, is Two-hundred and twenty-five-thousand dollars.

Clarke: “……….”

 _‘_ _What the actual FUCK! Who the fuck is Alexandria Woods and is it the left or right arm that has shooting pains when your chest is about to explode?’_ , she screams in her head.

She takes a step back from the bid book and just stares at her painting. She’s in shock, the blond almost misses the silky-smooth voice behind her, thoughts racing so.

Mystery: (Matter of fact) “You’re the one, who painted this masterpiece…”

Clarke turns around to face the goddess she thought she had imagined. This woman is a tall, slender brunette with high cheek bones and a sharp – almost intimidating face. She has a slightly tan tint to her skin, and her hair is in triple braid that sits on her right shoulder. She is wearing an elegant black dress that has a single slit running up the right leg to the hip. It is both tight and flowy and it hits the floor with a short train that trails behind her. Her eyes glance to the name tag on this magnificent creature, this makes her heart starts to try to jump out of her chest again. She gazes into those striking green eyes and readies herself.

Clarke: (Mimicing tone) “You’re the one, who bought it…” _‘Wooooooow Alexandria fucking woods’_

The brunette has a tight smile on her beautiful stoic face, and she extends her hand towards Clarke.

Alexandria: (Impressed & slightly amused) “Hi, my name is Alexandria Woods. It is a pleasure to meet you Ms. Griffin.”

Clarke: (Trying to remain confident) *Taking the offered hand in a soft shake* "It’s just Clarke, thank you… Same to you.” _‘Well that was lame… God your lips look soft…’_

Alexandria: *Hums* "Clarke... Call me Lexa if you please."

They shake for an abnormally long period of time for a simple greeting, staring into each other’s eyes. They seem to simultaneously realize this and they both take back their respective hands. The server comes over and offers a glass to each woman, they both take one and stand side by side looking at her painting. Clarke starts on her second glass.

_'Rule be damned.'_

Lexa: (Calm) “So, this… *Gesturing to the painting* ...what does it mean? I love oil technique; it takes dedication and immense patience.”

Clarke: (Forced Calm) “The meaning of art is of the observer’s perception Ms. Woods. What do you see? Why did you even buy it?” *Flinches slightly*

 _‘_ _Way to sound like a bitch Clarke!’,s_ he reprimands herself.

Lexa just softly smiles at her with a sparkle in her eyes, her breath being taken away in a millisecond.

Lexa: (Slightly amused) “I bought it because it is beautiful. *Looking over to Clarke* I like how eloquent and passionate you sound about art. *Looks to the painting* Now, what do I see...”

Clarke looks at Lexa who is staring at her painting like a child looks at a present on Christmas. They stay like that for what seems like hours, like time itself paused for a bit.

In reality, it was only a couple seconds... But who cares about reality?

Lexa: (Serious/Thinking out loud) “I see… I see pain and sadness. Maybe a bit of emptiness? Then I see all those emotions being used to create something, something that protects. Something that houses a lost soul, making that lost soul no longer lost because it now has a home to step into. You may have used all dark colors, but I see light in there too. It’s hidden, but it’s there.”

Then the brunette looks over to see the blonde staring at her, with an expression that can only be described as a person just run over by a truck of truth; soul forced naked. Again, time stops, if only around them, if only for a few seconds. Then they go back to looking at the artwork.

After taking a big gulp of wine...

Clarke: (Sarcastic) “You should be an art critic.”

Lexa: *Softly chuckles* “Thank you.”

Short silence.

Lexa: “I’m glad I came here tonight, I almost didn’t, and now I own a masterpiece of Art.”

Clarke: “What made you come? Why did you almost not?”

Lexa: “I wasn’t invited until last night. My sister Anya, asked her new girlfriend out for tonight, but she had to babysit her friend’s child. So, she asked me, last minute as always. *As Anya is approaching* Speak of the devil, and she shall come… Anya, this is Clarke Griffin. Clarke, this is the devil.”

Anya: *Sticking her tongue out to Lexa and then turning to Clarke* “Hi, I’m Anya nice to meet you. *Curt nod, then looks to her sister* I think I’m done for tonight, are you ready?”

The brunette looks at Clarke for a fraction of a second and then flicks her gaze back to her sister.

Lexa: “I think I am going to stay for a time, you go on ahead without me, I’ll call for my own car shortly”

Anya: “Fine, stay here with the beautiful woman, and have your sister go into the bitter world alone.”

Clarke blushes and looks at ~~her~~ Lexa’s painting pretending, she’s trying to be oblivious to the conversation between the siblings.

Lexa: (With a glare and a tone of warning) “Bye Anya, I’ll see you at the office Monday morning.”

Anya: (Too amused) “Bye sis! *Kisses her on the cheek* Bye Clarke!” *Gives Clarke a wink and walks away*

Now it’s back to just the two of them. Green eyes looking into blue, an underworld blaze staring into a never-ending ocean. They continue to stare at each other as Lexa speaks in a calm whisper.

Lexa: “What time do you close down the gallery tonight?”

Clarke: “10:30… *looks at her watch* In forty-five minutes, why?"

Lexa: “Would you like to go somewhere after you close?”

' _I shouldn’t… *Raven’s words pops in* Ugh! WHY THE FUCK NOT! I need a break!’._ The inner voice come to a decision for her. "Maybe, like where?”, she says trying to sound calm before she takes a gulp wine.

Lexa: “There is a restaurant across the stre…”

Clarke: (To the point) “Do you live around here, or did you fly in and you’re in a hotel for the weekend?”

Lexa: (Confused) “Hotel. Wh…”

Clarke: “That’s where I want to go. Meet me out front when I’m done?”

Lexa: _‘Well this just got interesting’_ “Uh, yes. Meet you out front. I’ll order a car.”

And with those final looks the blonde turns heel and walks away. Leaving the brunette nervous, surprised, and with a dancing heart.

\-----------------------------------------------------

Twenty-five minutes after Clarke and Lexa’s conversation ended, the blonde had to end the night. She walks back to the podium and gives the nod.

Clarke: (Friendly & businesslike) “Well, tonight was impressive, I must say. I’ve been to most of the bid books and we have done something amazing tonight, so give yourself a had!”

After applause has died down.

Clarke: “It’s about that time ladies and gentlemen… Thank you for coming, I hope to see you all next year, and please drive safe!”

After the last guest has left, Clarke locks the door. She has duties to attend to and doesn’t want to get distracted now by someone she plans to get distracted by later. She walks around her prized possession, gathering all the bid books, and then goes to her office.

It’s a little room that is tucked away in the back-right corner of the building. Clarke sits down in her chair and lets out a huff.  She goes through each bid book and writes down the artwork’s number, the winning bid, and the name associated. Half way through the stack of small oak brown books, she looks around her office and lets out a content sigh. The room isn’t special, it is sparsely decorated with eggshell white walls; a single black desk, a computer, and office chair resides in it. It isn’t that big either, but she loves this room, it’s one of her only places of solace.

No one enters but her.

She’s just about done taking down all important information from tonight when a server knocks on the wall and stands just outside of the open doorway. Clarke looks up with an expectant look.

Server: (Tired) “Sorry to disturb you Ms. Griffin, just letting you know we’ve finished up and packed everything away. We’re on our way out now, I’ll lock back door before I leave and put the key under the mat.”

Clarke: (Distracted) “Alright Murphy, thank you for letting me know, expect your and your team's pay by tomorrow morning. I just sent it out.”

They nod at each other, murphy leaves Clarke to finish her book keeping. Once she’s finished, she gets up and turns her computer off. Then the office light follows and she’s out the door walking through her gallery towards the front door. She stops in front of the entrance, spins around to look at her pride and joy.

The gallery is large with many rooms separated by half walls and pillars. When standing you can see the entire building, outer-wall to outer-wall. There is a vaulted ceiling and the walls are a velvet red with chestnut colored hard wood floors. The pillars are white to match the ceiling with beautiful spiral ribs winding around and up the spine.  “Thank you, dad, for helping me get this. I hope you’re proud of me.”, she says with sadness to no one in the room.

Clarke turns off the lights, unlocks the door and steps outside with her phone and black clutch in her hands. She closed the door, re-locking it. Then she takes a deep breath and turns around. As she does, she sees a shiny jet-black SUV roll up to the curb and the back-passenger side door flings open. As Lexa steps out,  the slit in her dress falls open to showcase a toned muscular but still soft looking leg. The clack of the brunette’s heels hitting the sidewalk breaks her gawking stare and they connect their eyes, emerald dreams to an unending sky.

Lexa: (Confident) “Are you still interested? I can drop you off at your home if you would prefer.”

Clarke: (Nervous) “Yes.” *Lexa gives a funny look* (Matched confidence) “Yes, I’m still interested.”

Lexa smiles as she offers her hand to the blonde, she accepts it with a small smile of her own. Their hearts jump at the contact. Clarke thinks of how soft it is and she wants to rub her thumb across her knuckles. The brunette steps aside and pulls her towards the car, letting her get in. Their hands disconnect as the she gets in, shimming to the other side of the car. Lexa then joins her in the car and shuts the door giving her driver the ok to pull onto the road.

It was a short silent drive to the hotel; the whole time, two hearts were beating in harmony to a steady punishing rhythm. Excitement and anxiety partner together in a strange friendship - or maybe a battle of dominance - in each woman’s stomach. When the car stops out front of the hotel Lexa looks over to Clarke, offering out her hand with a hopeful smile on her face.

Lexa: (Serious) “Still a yes?”

Clarke: *Takes her hand and returns the smile* (Soft) “Still a yes.”

Both women get out of the car, Lexa first, followed closely by Clarke, still hand-and-hand. The hotel is massive and intimidates the blonde, she then tightens her grip on the brunette’s hand, continues on to follow through the front doors, the lobby, and into the elevator.

The air starts to crackle, mouths go dry,  pulses start to race again, then DING! The elevator doors open and it is Clarke who pulls Lexa out, stopping once they are in a long hallway.

“What number?”, she sternly asks. “23.”, the brunette states with almost an amused tone. Clarke looks left and then right to see the order of the rooms, then tightens her grip on Lexa, pulling her towards the room. They finally reach the correct door, she takes the key card from Lexa’s other hand. Swipes the card and opens the door pulling her goddess with her into the single bed hotel room.

\-----------------------------------------------------

She lets go of Lexa, shutting the door behind her. She walks to the edge of the bed and puts her phone in her clutch throwing it to the side of the room on the floor. The brunette just stands by the door and looks in awe as she finally gets a chance to fully take in this ravishing blonde. Clarke is a full body woman with curves for days, a glorious hourglass. Her face is a bit of a round square with a small beauty mark right above her lips, an adorable dimple on her chin, her skin tone a lovely creamy white. The brunette feels like she is drowning in the girls stunning blue eyes, but she never wants to breach the top of the water.

She is standing there silent, looking at the observing woman in the room with her. She takes her pony tail out letting her golden curls flow freely to frame her face and shoulders in the most beautiful way. She then takes off her coat and lets it drop to the floor. She was about to reach back for the zipper of her dress when the brunette starts to move. She thinks Lexa was going to help her with her dress when she suddenly has one hand on the side of her neck and the goddess’s lips are gently pressing into hers. When the brunette was closing the distance between their faces, Clarke was startled, but right as their lips connected her eyes fell closed and she felt like she was home. Their kiss was slow and gentle, and Clarke’s hand came up to grab Lexa’s elbow of the arm  attached to her neck. After a few seconds the blonde kisses Lexa in a single deep kiss that broke something in her. The tan woman pulled back to change the angle and as she’s descending, Clarke pulls away with a sharp intake of breath.

Lexa pulls back completely with hooded eyes, slight confusion etched in her eyebrows. The two women stand there for a moment, the golden beauty turns around and moves her hair out the way. She gets the hint and starts unzipping the blue dress, for each new inch of exposed flesh there is a soft kiss pressed there. Once the zipper is all the way down and is settled on the small of the blonds back, the brunette puts both of her hands Clarke’s hips making her turn around.

When blonde is facing Lexa, she sees her on her knees sitting on her heels, a tan face at level with pale stomach, and hands still placed on either hip. They take a second to stare in each other’s eyes, both wondering who’s going to make the next move. Clarke places her thumbs on her hip pushing her dress the rest of the way down, letting it drop to the carpet.

The goddess pulls her hands off the her for only the amount of time it takes to let the dress slide past. Clarke is now standing there in only a set of matching dark blue bra and panties. The brunette presses a light kiss with a tiny lick to the center of the blonde’s torso. There are now hands in her hair keeping her still. She looks up to see the blonde’s eyes are screwed tight with a look that’s half pleasure and half pained. Lexa pulls away a little and flicks her gaze down in front of her and sees a tiny scar a few inches below the blonde’s belly button, right above the top of her underwear. She moves down and places a feather light kiss to it and hears a strangled moan. The hands in her hair now pull hard until the brunette is standing up right. Clarke crashes their lips together in a bruising kiss. In mid kiss they rotate and fall on the bed.

She is quick to straddle Lexa as she starts moving down to her chin, nipping and grazing her with her teeth. She pulls Lexa so the woman is sitting up and gives her a searing kiss a pulling the brunette’s dress straps off her shoulders. Once the woman's arms are free, she pulls the top of the dress down exposing bare breasts, apparently Lexa didn’t wear a bra, much to Clarke’s delight. She pushes the half-naked goddess back on the bed taking a nipple into her mouth, hearing the loud gasp followed by a moan was all the encouragement needed. The woman on top now sucks, bites and swirls her tongue around the stiff peak. Clarke lets go of one to give equal attention to the other loving all the sounds slipping from the woman beneath her. She looks up to see blackness, the green in the other girls’ eyes nearly gone. The blonde goes in for another hard kiss, this time deepening it, she flicks her tongue over the brunette’s bottom lip, and is immediately granted entry.

Kissing with almost painful intensity, Clarke pulls away and gets off the bed pulling the black dress with her. The blonde takes off her bra and underwear, now standing there, watched with hooded eyes, completely naked. kneeling at the foot of the bed, she reaches out, pulling the black lace panties off the goddess before her. Now in the room the two bare women gaze at each other, only the sound of breathing fills the room, until the brunette spoke with a lustful voice, “Still a yes?”. Clarke didn’t bother to answer the ridiculous question, she sprung forward from the foot of the bed to cover the body of other woman with hers. Lexa’s legs on either side of her hips bent at the knee, hands griping her shoulder blades. She palms both breasts giving each one kiss before reclaiming the brunette’s mouth. Her left-hand travels to the side of brunette's neck while she deepens the kiss licking the roof of her mouth. Her right-hand slides down the brunette’s stomach not stopping until she is met with a hot river.

A whimper echoed in the room as her fingers ran through the goddess's folds, rubbing a few tight circles around her clit and then abruptly stopping. Lexa looks down at Clarke with a look of half confusion and half pleading. She only smirks and rearranges their legs so that Lexa’s thy is now being straddled by her before she continues what her fingers were doing. She grinds down in a frantic pace, each pass becoming smoother and smoother with her arousal coating the leg under her. At the same time, she teases her mercilessly, growls at her in frustration causes her to sink two fingers in with lightning speed. The guttural moan that fills the air makes Clarke’s temperature spike; she quickens her pace racing to the finish line. Lexa cries out and her insides are pulsing and contracting around Clarke’s fingers. That’s all the blonde needs before she bites her lip and moans in ecstasy, finally she finds her release.

_'No... Too quick! Not Enough!'_

They lay there, side by side, for a minute or two catching their breaths. Much to Lexa’s surprise, Clarke pushes herself up and begins climbing up the bed over her body. When half the distance has been achieved, it finally dawns on her. One knee on either side of her head, and short dark blonde curls hovering above her face. Eyes connect in understanding, in communication, as Clarke lowers herself down. No time is wasted as a tongue starts on its exploration. “YES!!!” the blonde hisses between gritted teeth. One hand griping the headboard, the other hand lost in dark brown half-loosely-braided hair. She starts shamelessly riding the mouth beneath her moaning every time the delicate tongue caresses her clit. She lets out a ragged breath as a finger unexpectedly enters her, mouth now focusing solely on her bundle of nerves as a finger searches for her G-spot. It takes a second or two, but when it’s found all hell breaks loose.

Clarke screams as her orgasm tears up her insides. She puts both her hands on the headboard and clings for dear life, soft shaky uncontrolled whimpers leaving her lips. When she finally comes back to herself, she falls backward onto the left side of the bed gasping for air. Minutes pass by in silence, She rolls out of bed and stands on unsteady legs. She rounds the bed and begins getting dressed, her bra clips on, underwear is lost and its search is abandoned. Lastly, she slips her dress back on. She makes no attempt to make eye contact for the remainder of time she spends in that room.

Lexa asks Clarke what she’s doing and receives no response, then she perks up resting on her elbows to see her walk out the door. She groans and whips her head back on the bed and curses into the air. _‘What the fuck just happened? I’m so fucking lost!’_ , she questions herself in her thoughts before reviewing the evening, playing it back, and trying to decipher the enigma she had just had an apparent one-night stand with.

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well FIRST chapter done, many more to come… Tell me what you think, I encourage comments so please go ahead and share your thoughts! Expect an update VERY SOON.


	2. An Unknowingly Welcome Manipulation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprised by the amount of readers, thank you guys for all the comments and kudos! For the people who read this who know me personally, please don't judge me. Clarke must call Lexa to hand over the painting, how awkward.

**In Clarke’s gallery office two days later…**

_‘UGH! I sooo need to hire someone to do this for me’._ Clarke is sitting in her office calling every winning bidder to get preferred addresses and dates/times for the delivery of their new art pieces, she is incredibly bored. Then she gets to the last name on her list, the one she has been dreading. “Lexa Woods, *Sighs* oh son of a bitch…” she huffs out, putting her face in her hands that are resting on top of the desk bent at the elbows. She knows what she did was shitty, but she had to go home, and she really didn’t want to explain why. She just hopes she doesn’t have to deal with her directly and prays all the things she needs can just be done through an assistant. But she has never been a lucky person, so she takes a deep breath and dials the number listed.

Mystery: “Good morning, Alexandria Woods office, Echo speaking. How can I help you?”

Clarke: _‘YES!’_ “Hi, hello, yes good morning to you too. I’m Clarke Griffin, and I am calling to gather shipping information for a piece of art Ms. Woods’ won at my charity action this past weekend.”

Echo: “One moment please.” (Beep, then nothing, then beep again) “Patching you through to Ms. Woods.” (Beep)

Clarke’s forehead hits the surface of the desk, _‘FUUUCK!’_ she screams in her head.

Lexa: (An almost hesitant voice) “Good morning, Lexa Woods speaking.” (A few seconds of silence) “Clarke?”

Clarke: (Picking her face up off the desk, speaks in soft reluctance) “Yes, I’m here. (Switching to business like tone) *Clears throat* “Hello Ms. Woods, I am calling to gather shipping information for the piece of art you won at my charity action this past weekend.” (A few seconds of nothing) “Ms. Woods?”

Lexa: “Are you at the Gallery right now?”

Clarke: “Uhhhh…. Yes?”

Lexa: “I’ll come pick it up at once.”

Clarke: (Immediately in a slightly panicked voice) “Oh no-no-no, that is completely unnecessary!” (In a slight accusatory tone) “Wait, I thought you said you were here only for the weekend?!?”

Lexa: “It is necessary, it’s now one of my prized possessions and I want to make sure it’s handled properly. And as I recall, you said I was only here for the weekend, and as I was responding you cut me off. If you had let me finish you would have discovered that I was moving my company’s headquarters here, and that I am staying in a hotel until I find a more permanent arrangement.”

Clarke grumbles and slams her forehead back onto the desk top. “Damn it…”, It wasn’t till she heard Lexa chuckle that Clarke realized she had said that out loud.

Lexa: (amused tone) “I’ll see you in thirty Clarke.” (Hangs up)

\-----------------------------------------------------

The front doors close and Clarke looks up and sees her. Lexa is walking through the gallery straight to the office. She is stunning in her three-piece suit. It is grey and pressed, one button closing the blazer at the center. A soft-looking white under-shirt shows, the first two buttons opened, showing a bit her delectable collarbone. The clacking of heels on hard wood and Lexa closing the distance, wakes Clarke up. The blonde puts her hand out in front of her and gently says stop. Lexa is now standing just outside the open doorway with her brows knitted in confusion.

She gets out of her desk chair and walks out of the room, closing the door behind her. She leans against the door and explains that no one but her is allowed in her office. Once she receives a nod, she starts walking to her painting, the brunette closely following. Now both are standing side by side like auction night gazing into darkness with hidden light.

 Lexa: “Still as incredible as I remember.” (Looks over to Clarke with a grin)

Clarke: (Looks over, melts at that grin, and whispers) “Thank you.”

Clarke steps forward and grabs the framed canvas taking it off the wall and gingerly carrying it to a nearby table. “I will bubble wrap it for you if you’d like…” Clarke says as more of a question than a statement. When the brunette nods kindly, she walks away to retrieve the needed material. On the way back she decides she will ask something that’s she has been wondering for the past two days. Once at the table, she turns to face the goddess.

Clarke: “Why did you bid so much? The highest bid before you was less than half of what you’re paying.”

Lexa: “Well one because it was for charity; I try to give back as much as possible, whenever I can. Two, I wanted to make certain I’d win because of number 3; anyone would’ve outbid me if it had been lower.”

Clarke: “And what is number 3?”

Lexa: “Your painting is absolutely awe-inspiring Clarke; it is enrapturing and mesmerizing.”

They stand there, green staring into blue. The blonde lets out an even softer than before whisper of thanks. She then turns back to the painting and begins wrapping it. Once done she picks it up and hands it to the sharp-dressed woman next to her.

Lexa: “Do you have somewhere to be right now?”

Clarke: (Without thinking about the words coming out of her mouth) “Yeah, I was just about to go get coffee down the street.” (When she realizes what she has done) _‘Damn it!’_ Mentally facepalming.

Lexa: (Half-lies) “Ok, I was going to get some on the way back to the office anyway, I’ll join you.”

Clarke fidgets and tries to think of something that will prevent this, whatever this is, from happening. The only thing she can think of is that the painting is too large to carry around but realizes how dumb that sounds when Lexa just shrugs, puts it back on the table, and states that she’ll just get it when they come back. Clarke huffs, nods, and then starts walking towards the entrance, not seeing the smirk on the brunette behind her.

\-----------------------------------------------------

As they are walking to the coffee shop, Lexa decides to try to break the ice with the only thing she knows about Clarke, besides her sky colored eyes, radiant beauty, intriguing personality, and of course, what sound she makes when she comes. The topic of art and anything related to it is a winner. She asks her about what got her into art and gets the ‘child who instantly attaches to something that follows them into adulthood’ response. She asks her if there is a particular memory from her childhood that feels like the start of her lifelong relationship with art. Clarke tells her about a time when she four – no maybe five – and her dad bought her her first easel that was accompanied by acrylic paints. How everything she is, she owes to her father. The sad tone in the blonde’s voice caused her to ask more about her father. Clarke’s answer was that her father was a kind and gentle man with a soft heart that died when she was close to eighteen years old, shortly after graduating from high school. She asked about her mom and was told that she died because of complications with giving birth to Clarke. She gives her condolences for her losses, but the blonde just sadly shrugs.

They reach the Café and Clarke holds the door open for her, she gives her a shy almost embarrassed smile and they walk in. After a sort wait in line, they both order two black coffees and walk together to the condiment table. Both put in creamer and sugar to their respective tastes and Lexa grabs two stirring straws and holds them in a loose fist out to her side, the blonde takes one with a shy smile.

Their walk back to the gallery is less depressing, she decides to go back to talking about art. She asked Clarke who her favorite artist is and got a surprising answer in return. Clarke squeals and starts talking a million miles a second, and Lexa love every word and facial expression happening before her eyes. “Oh my god, you’re so going to regret asking that! Without a doubt, it’s Frida Kahlo! People say she is one of Mexico’s greatest Artists, but I say she’s one of the world’s greatest Artists, and she was an amazing person. She is unlike any other artist that has ever lived, her own beautifully-unique self. She lived in a blue house that was famously nicknamed ‘La Casa Azul'. She was able to look to herself for her own inspiration. She never cared for gender roles, a total ‘I’m gonna do me and fuck anyone else’ type of person, which I love and aspire to. She defied society's beauty standards, which also goes into the whole ‘fuck you’ way of life that I salute. When she was six, she got polio, and it crippled her right leg, which grew shorter than her left and gave her a limp. When she was eighteen, she got into a horrible bus crash that permanently damaged her spine. She’s a survivor, which makes her artwork extremely genuine and raw. There is nothing, and I mean NOTHING like it”. She says her last sentence in the most adorable way Lexa could think possible, “And finally, she’s un-apologetically bisexual, a thing we have in common.”.

Clarke’s monologue ran for the entire walk back, finishing her adorable final line spinning on her toes to face Lexa in front of the gallery doors. Lexa just stands there with a huge smile and sparkling green eyes. The blonde watches her for a moment with a questioning look before letting go of a shy whisper, “What?”. She didn’t bother commenting on the monologue or answering that question. She simply closed the distance between them and gave the most passionate kiss of Clarke’s life.

Clarke’s world collapses in that moment, all her senses consumed by only one person in the universe. She kisses back with force and licks the brunette’s bottom lip asking permission. Once its granted, their tongues collide, and she fights for dominance. Placing her arms around Lexa’s waist, she pulls them flush together. One hand remains, while the other gets lost in brown wavy locks. Both of the other girls’ hands gently on either side of her face. After what feels like hours, they pull away due to a loud ringing noise.

The blonde answers her phone with a week breathless “hello”. Then after confirming who she is, her eyes bug out of her head as she lets out a terrified “WHAT?”. A few seconds of listening and Clarke’s one-worded questions, she ends the conversation.

Clarke: (Panicked voice) “I-I have to go!” (Starts to turn around)

Lexa: (Grabs her wrist, also panicked voice) “Wait! What’s wrong? What happened? Do you need a ride?”

Clarke: (Struggles out of grip) “I N-NEED to go! No, my car’s outback” (Runs away)

\-----------------------------------------------------

**An hour later in Lexa’s office**

Lexa sits at her desk with her chin in her hand mindlessly doing her work, anxiety filling her stomach. There is a knock on the door, and she looks up to see Anya, the smile on her face wiping off when she sees the brunette’s unhappy eyes.

Anya: (Sitting down across the desk in a comfy client chair) “What’s wrong little sis?”

Lexa: (A sullen voice matches her face) “It’s Clarke, I’m just worried about her.”

Anya: “Who? WAIT! ‘Ms. leaves without a word’?”

Lexa: (Grumpy tone) “Yes… I went to see her today, to get my painting that won that night. (Embarrassed tone) I kind of invited myself to her coffee run.”

Anya: “Well hell… I didn’t see that coming”

Lexa: (Irritation seeping through) “Anya…”

Anya: “What I’m just saying, it’s not every day you go out on a date with a one-night stand.”

Lexa: (Yells) “IT WASN’T A DATE!” (Tries and half succeeds to calms down) “I-It was just an in, to talk and just spend time with her.” (Voice softening from adoration) “She is beautiful and so funny… She had this huge ten minutes monologue about her favorite Artist, Frida Kahlo, *quick chuckle* it was hilarious. You should have seen –” (Noticing her sister’s face) “What?”

Anya: (With a loving face) “Oh nothing, continue.”

Lexa: “Well… We walked back to her gallery and she was being too herself, so I kissed her. It was… intense to say the least. I got lost somewhere in it, my brain fizzled out of existence for a short period of time.”

Anya: (Proud smirk) “So why the worry?”

Lexa: (Face dropping) “Her phone rang and broke us up. When she answered it, she had a face of pure fear. She said she had to go and ran away. I didn’t get the chance to get the painting I went to get. She was so frantic; I hope she’s ok.”

Anya: “Well, go get it tomorrow, you can talk to her then. You can see if she’s ok and maybe get some fucking answers about the call and your night together. I haven’t seen you as happy as you were talking about her a minute ago, in a very long time; not since Costia. You already elevate her in your world, even if she acts a little weird.”

Lexa: (Shakes her head) “No, she elevates herself.”

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That’s Ch 2… Tell me what you think, I encourage comments so please go ahead and share your thoughts! Expect an update VERY SOON.


	3. Let Me In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprised by the amount of readers, thank you guys for all the comments and kudos! For the people who read this who know me personally, please don't judge me.  
> Lexa goes to see Clarke (Twice), will she get any answers?

**The next day at Clarke’s Gallery**

The Gallery owner is siting at her desk rifling through her purse in search of a tiny bottle, it takes a while but once she finds it, she moans in happiness. She takes three ibuprofen tablets out of the small white bottle and takes them with a drink of water. She has not had a good twenty-four hours since leaving Lexa outside on the sidewalk yesterday, and she is tired with a throbbing headache. It takes about an hour for the pills to start working and Clarke is so relieved to not be dealing with a migraine right now. She is so done with today that she doesn’t even hear the front doors open and shoes on the wooden floors. There is a knock on the wall, and she looks to see the one and only goddess standing just outside the doorway.

Clarke: (Soft voice) “Ms. Woods, what are you doing here?”

Lexa: (Soft but concerned filled voice) “I just came to check on you and get the masterpiece I left here yesterday. Can I talk to you?”

The blonde stands up and makes her was to the to Lexa. She is now standing on the edge of her office leaning her head on the doorway with her arms crossed over her chest. The brunette just mirrors her standing on the edge of the gallery floor. They speak to each other in calm soft voices…

Clarke: “What is there to talk about? Your painting is still on the table where you left it yesterday.”

Lexa: “You don’t look so good. Are you feeling unwell?”

Clarke: “I’m fine, just didn’t get any sleep last night. I took some medicine for my headache; it’s starting to work finally.”

Lexa: (Reaches over to move hair out of the blonde’s eye and pushes it in between her ear as she speaks) “What happened yesterday? I’ve haven’t seen that type of fear in a long time.”

Clarke shivers at the touch and closes her eyes, she tries to commit the feeling to memory. _‘Oh, why do you have to make this so difficult’._ She then slowly reaches out and grabs Lexa’s blazer, pulling her to her while her head pushes off the door-way, inching the distance to her lips. The kiss is slow and sensual, words not able to be said are communicated. She unbuttons the blazer and roams under it with her hands, wrapping her arms around the taller woman’s waist. They kiss slowly changing angles every so often, then Clarke lets her hands slide to either hip as she moves Lexa so she is half in her office and half in the gallery up against the door jamb. She deepens the kiss licking into her mouth meeting her with her tongue.

Lexa puts both her hands on either side of the blonde’s head brushing hair out of her face, and gently holding her face. She pulls her lips away but keeps their foreheads connected. They stand there four eyes closed, hearts beating as one, breaths takin from the same air.

Lexa: (Sighs softly and whispers) “Please Clarke… Please talk to me. Let this be more.”

That hurts the blonde’s heart and she holds back tears as she barely shakes her head, not willing to pull her forehead off the brunettes’.

Clarke: (Throat burning with unshed tears) “I can’t, you don’t know what your talking about, you don’t know what you’re asking. You don’t really want me like that.”

Lexa: (Not fairing any better) “Clarke P-”

Clarke: (Fully pulls away) “Leave. The paintings on the table out there. I can’t do this.”

She closes her office door and slides down onto the floor cradling her knees letting the tears finally run down her cheeks. She hears footsteps getting quieter and quieter, then a door closing; that just causes her to cry harder. Once all the tears have fallen, she gets up and reopens the door. Both Lexa and the painting are gone, and Clarke is all alone again.

\-----------------------------------------------------

**A few days later at Clarke’s House**

It’s nighttime and there is a knock at the door, Clarke walks up and cracks it open to see a friendly face.

Raven: (Whispering) “Hey is she asleep?” (Clarke nods) “I left phone here, I’ll be quiet.”

Clarke opens the door the rest of the way walking back as she’s pulling. Something unexpected happens, Raven isn’t alone. She’s hand and hand stepping into Clarke’s living room with someone she thought looked vaguely familiar, but she couldn’t place.

Raven: “Sorry, we were walking to the restaurant and I realized… Anyway, Anya this is Clarke. Clarke this is –”

Anya: (A fake cheery voice) “The devil… as you well know. We’ve met before Rae; at the art auction I was telling you about, I believe my sister introduced us.”

Clarke nearly swallowed her own tongue. _‘Fuck my life!’_

Clarke: (Shakes hand) “Umm, yes. Hello again.”

Raven: “Right, you went to Clarkey’s thing, I forgot. (Looks like she left out of the loop) “Oooooo-kay… I’m just going to get my phone and we’ll be out of your hair.”

Raven then leaves Anya and Clarke stranded to go into a back-room. Anya steps into the center of the room and looks around slowly until she looks at the blonde with a knowing face.

Anya: “All of this, *moves her finger in a circle like a lasso* everything makes so much sense now.”

Clarke: (Ashen face) “Anya, I –”

Raven: (Steps into the room, phone in hand) “Got it, let’s go babe.”

They both leave, and Clarke is mentally pulling out her hair.

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Lexa’s Office**

Lexa is focused on her work, getting done anything and everything she possibly can. She spends the day looking at a computer screen typing away, on the phone making deals, and giving orders to her assistant and employees. Moving a company and trying to find a place to live AND doing usual day-to-day duties is turning out to be a busy time. Then Anya come in and changes her life forever.

Anya: (Knocks on the door, comes in and sits down) “We have a meeting at one-thirty, a meeting a three, and I saw Clarke last night.”

The brunette was mindlessly nodding along until Clarke’s name was spoken, then her eye shot up to look incredulously at her sister.

Lexa: (accusatory tone) “ooooo-kay…”

Anya: “Raven is a friend of hers and we had to go to blondies’ house to get her phone.”

Lexa: (confused tone) “You were at her house?”

Anya: “Yes and she has to tell you something, *hands over slip of paper with Clarke’s address* something important.”

Lexa: “Wha-”

Anya: “Go over on Saturday, and she’ll give you the answers you deserve.”

And with that Anya leaves Lexa more confused than ever but with butterflies in her stomach at the thought that she knows were Clarke lives. She knows an important piece of information about her, finally. She is elated that Clarke is giving her a chance and cannot wait for Saturday to arrive.

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Saturday – Midday**

Lexa arrives at Clarke’s house a bucket of nerves; on one hand she can’t wait to see her, on the other hand, she can’t move her legs. She stands there on the front steps and takes a meditative deep breath. Walking up the steps she knocks on the door to the unknown. The door cracks open but there’s no face to greet her. That is until she looks a few feet down and sees a child staring at her with a stern but questioning look. She is a tiny, brown haired, hazel eyed adorable little girl. After a moment of hesitation, she gets down on one knee to speak softly.

Lexa: “Well hello there, little one, what is your name?”

Child: “Madi.”

Lexa: (Smiles) “It’s nice to meet you Madi, my name is Lexa. Is Clarke here?”

Madi: (Nods and Yells) “MOMMY! DOOR!”

Lexa quickly stood up and heard the lovely voice she’d been waiting to hear.

Clarke: “My love, how many times do I have to tell you not to answer the door. The world is not a safe place.” (placing a hand on the edge of the slightly open door to open it fully) “You don’t know who –” (Yells) “LEXA!” (Looks to Lexa then back to Madi) “Madi, baby, please go into the living room for a sec, you can watch some TV while I make lunch. Mommy just has to talk to the nice lady real-quick.” (Glances at Lexa who is now in a state of shock)

Madi: (Excitedly) “Ok!” (Walks away)

Clarke shuts the door and leans back on it staring at the frozen woman on her doorstep. She doesn’t know what to say or do so they just stand there in each other’s presence processing. Lexa’s eyes are wide, and she doesn’t appear to be breathing, Clarke doesn’t know what to say about what just transpired so she asks the only thing that keeps running through here head.

Clarke: (Calm voice like talking to a trapped animal) “What are you doing here?”

Lexa: (Speaking a million miles an hour) “Anya gave me your address and told me you had to tell me something important, explain what is going on with you. I assumed you told her to tell me!”

Clarke: “Lex- ”

Lexa puts her hand up to stop the blonde from talking and drops her head. Clarke tries to start again but that hand just moves back and forth as if pleading for a break. When she finally looks back at Clarke again her face is utterly impassive, and she speaks in a non-emotional tone for the rest of the time they’re standing there; the blonde simply doesn’t speak at all. It’s like night and day to Clarke, like a mask was just put on before her eyes and someone else is on her doorstep. Like Lexa just disappeared into thin air. She asks if the child is biologically hers’, in which she receives a nod. She asks if there is a father or another mother in the picture, for this she receives a shake of the head no. She asks if the child has been the reason Clarke acts the way she has been with Lexa and she receives a nod again. She gives the blonde a simply “Ok.” and walks away getting in her car as Clarke walks back into her house.

\-----------------------------------------------------

Twenty minutes later as Clarke is sitting down on her couch half-way through her sandwich, she hears a car door close and an engine start. She gets up and pulls back the drapes to see Lexa drive out of her driveway. Thinking how strange that is and wondering what Lexa was doing while she was making lunch, she goes outside. Everything clicks when she sees an envelope taped to her door, it has Clarke’s name sprawled on the front of it. She goes back inside, sits on her couch, and looks at Madi sitting on the floor eating in front of the TV before reading the letter.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dear Clarke,

I apologize for whatever hurt I caused you by coming here today, I will be having a conversation with Anya I assure you. I do feel sorry for the way everything happened, but I don’t regret it. I like you Clarke, I don’t want this to be the end for us. I want to keep seeing your smile and hear you talk the way you did rambling about your favorite artist. I want to keep feeling that warmth in my chest when you look at me with those beautiful eyes that seem to look right into my soul. I would like to take you out and get to know you even more, and for you to get to know me. And when you deem me worthy, I want to have a redo with meeting Madi. She is adorable by the way; she looks like a little warrior. In some of the foster homes I was in, the only joy I had was looking after and playing with the young children there with me. I have a sort of soft spot for children, and I’d like to get to know her. But again, only when you would grant me the honor. My personal phone number is down below, please use it! I will respect your wishes if you want me to stay away, though I hope you don’t want that. Text me anytime, day or night; I hope I hear from you when you’re ready.

-Lexa

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A week later, Lexa had lost all hope. That was until she was laying in her hotel bed getting ready for sleep when her phone buzzed.

UNKNOWN NUMBER: Ok

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise!!!! Did you see it coming? Ch 3 is done but there is so much more to be revealed!  
> Tell me what you think, I encourage comments so please go ahead and share your thoughts! Expect an update VERY SOON.


	4. Test Run

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for all the comments and kudos! For the people who read this who know me personally, please don't judge me.  
> Clarke and Lexa’s weird first date.

Just in case you're here and missed the reveal... I had technical issues with the previous chapter (ch3), please know it's there (It's not made apparent to some readers) and I recommend reading it due to the importance of what happens.

 

 

UNKNOWN NUMBER: Ok

Lexa: Clarke?

UKNOWN NUMBER: Yes

Lexa: Ok?

Clarke: Yes

Lexa: Ok. :)

Clarke: Ok

Lexa: What are you doing right now?

Clarke: Laying in bed, Madi had a nightmare so she is snoring next to me keeping me up.

Lexa: Aww, at least she can sleep now.

Clarke: Yup but I can’t.

Clarke: How is this supposed to work… why me

Lexa: It’s not going to be easy and I’m not saying it won’t be complicated. But taking it one step at a time and going slow is the best solution. We’ll spend time together, text, and talk when you’re able. I pledge to you my patience. All I ask for in return is for you to not shut me out anymore. Be honest with me, and when I overstep, correct me. This is new for me, but I think it’s worth it. YOU are worth It, that’s ‘why you’.

Clarke: You have such a way with words Ms. Woods. Thank you for choosing to do this on my terms, you can’t begin to imagine. All I can promise is to try.

Clarke: Are you free tomorrow?

Lexa: :) Well, thank you very much Ms. Griffin. You’re welcome.

Lexa: I most certainly am, what do you have in mind?

Clarke: That’s for me to know and you to find out… Meet me at the Gallery at 6?

Lexa: I’m intrigued, you got yourself a deal Ms. Griffin.

Clarke: Goodnight Lexa ;)

Lexa: Sweet dreams Clarke

\-----------------------------------------------------

**The Next Night**

Lexa is shutting down her office computer for the day. She looks at her watch and it is four o’clock, as she in walking past her assistants’ desk, her phone buzzes.

 

Clarke: Wear your most casual clothes for tonight

Lexa: Alright. Leaving the office now to go the hotel and get ready.

Clarke: See ya in a bit.

 

Once she has showered, she goes to the hotel dresser and tries to figure out what she can wear. She decides on a T-shirt Anya got her as a gag gift that says ‘KISS THE CEO’ with an arrow pointing up, and plain jeans. She forgoes most of her make-up, putting on only lipstick and mascara, then she’s out the door. On the way to the gallery she stops to pick up flowers for Clarke. She decides on cloth red roses with plastic black stems and white colored pebbles in a small clear glass vase.

Lexa walks into the gallery at five fifty-seven to see Clarke wrapping artwork in bubble wrap and putting them in boxes. The brunette smiles at how careful she is, like she’s holding a newborn baby and is afraid to hurt it. Walking closer, the blonde looks up and smiles looking her up and down. She is wearing tight black jeans and a plain white shirt with lace decorating the collar. She comes over to Lexa as she offers her the flowers, she explains that she thought they’d look good in the Gallery space and that they won’t be dead in a week. The blonde thanks her and takes the flowers putting them on a small black side table by the entrance. Clarke saunters up to her and to her surprise kisses her, it’s a quick peck but it leaves her wanting more. When the blonde pulls back, she simply smirks and says that she’s “just following the rules” while glancing down to the shirt she’s wearing and goes back to wrapping and boxing. Lexa just says, “Wearing this shirt, is the best decision I’ve made today then.”, and they both start laughing.

Once Clarke is done, she put on her black leather jacket and locks the front door. She holds out her hand and they both walk to the back door turning off all the lights on the way out. They get to Clarke’s car and she holds the passenger side door open for Lexa and gets a shy smile and a thanks.

Lexa has zero clue as to where she is being driven but resides herself to what may. The conversation in the car is light small talk. They talk about work and Lexa’s housing plans. Lexa asks where Madi is tonight and gets a grateful smile and is told that her best friend is babysitting. Then she gets a text from her sister and chuckles.

 

Anya: I know you’re still pissed at me, but I think I’m suffering enough! I would have never helped you two if I knew it would be messing with my sex life! Raven can’t hangout with me because she’s babysitting your girl’s squirt.

Lexa: Serves you right.

Anya: GRRRR!!!!!

 

The car stops and she looks up to see a movie theater.

Lexa: (Looks at Clarke with a shy smile) “Soooo, what are we seeing?”

Clarke: (Amused tone) “I don’t know yet, we’ll find out when we get up there.”

Clarke was going to go around and open the door for the brunette, but she was already out of the car. They walk together and Lexa oh so smoothly intertwines their fingers, it melts the blonde’s heart. At the ticket booth scanning the available movies, they pick a thriller called “The Gift”. They get concessions and take their seats. During the movie there is a scene where the wife is in the shower and she hears things, so she wipes the fog off the shower door and the neighbor is standing there. This causes Clarke to scream bloody murder and throw popcorn everywhere.

The blonde is now mortified and looks over to the person next to her. Soft concerned eyes look her way and Lexa wraps her arm around the embarrassed woman. A few minutes later they untangle themselves and dust all popcorn off their laps. Each woman brushing the other’s hair to try to clean up as much as possible in the dark, then they go back to the position they were in, one arm around Clarke. The movie finishes so they get back into the car and drive to get some food.

To Lexa’s surprise she is parked in front of a McDonalds. When they get out of the car, Lexa grabs Clarke’s hand and excitedly says “I haven’t eaten at one of these places in a decade!” and starts powerwalking pulling the blonde with her. Small talk flows again, they laugh about the movie jump scare, chat about goals, and just enjoy being with each other.

Driving back to the gallery Clarke becomes quiet, she looks like she’s processing something and trying to work out a problem or question. Lexa just lets her think and holds her hand or rest a hand on her thy in silent support. After parking they exit, and Lexa brushes the back of her fingers along the blonde’s cheekbone then she cups the side of her face and leans in. The kiss is soft and passionate. A few seconds into the kiss Lexa slides her hands to both of Clarkes’ and presses them together and holds them to her chest. Both woman’s foreheads stay touching, all eyes closed.

Lexa: (Whisper) “So did I pass the test?”

Clarke: (Eyes open looking into an enchanted forest) “What?”

Lexa: “You wanted to see how much of a rich person I am… How snobby or uptight. You were testing if I could do the things you do, what normal people do, and be alright with it.”

Clarke: “…...” (Her stare becoming confirmation)

Lexa: “What you fail to realize is that as long as you are with me, I am happy…… So, did I pass?”

Clarke: (Smile growing by the second) “With flying colors.”

They kiss again, but this time it gets heated. Somehow Lexa ends up pinned against the driver side door. Tongues battle and the blonde’s hands roam. Clarke pulls back and attacks the neck of the goddess, nipping and licking, up and down. Breathing becomes ragged and Lexa barley manages to get out what she wants to ask.

Lexa: (Breathy) “Do you want to go back to the hotel?”

Clarke: (Manages to pull herself away to look into eyes) “I can’t I have to get home to Madi.”

Lexa: (Pulls herself together) “*Meditative breath* Ok, then we need to say goodbye now or you might have a disappointed daughter.”

Clarke: (Chuckles amused tone) “Right… I had a nice time tonight, teenager date though it was.”

Lexa: (Teasing) “Hey don’t knock the teenager date, next time we can play spin the bottle, maybe I’ll get to second base…”

Clarke: (Sensual tone) “Maybe you will.”

Lexa gulps and their lips connect again, and it is frenzied. Clarke pushes on both of Lexa’s shoulders and pulls away. They say their goodbyes and promises of later texts, and Clarke drives away while Lexa waits for her car to arrive. They both go home with hope in their hearts for what may be.

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there is Ch 4… If you think that jump scare story was a little too detailed it’s because it happened to me. Lucky I wasn’t in a movie theater, but in my living room because I screamed so loud, I didn’t even realize I was the one who screamed for a hot second.  
> Tell me what you think, I encourage comments so please go ahead and share your thoughts! Expect an update VERY SOON.


	5. Intimacy Begets Intimacy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for all the comments and kudos! For the people who read this who know me personally, please don't judge me.
> 
> Clarke and Lexa spend the day together, things happen, and someone opens up. WARNING this get heavy.

Last reminder to check if you have read all the chapters available, chapter three seems to have gotten lost in the shuffle somehow. (Ch 3 is an important for the story, please make sure you’ve read it.)

 

It has been roughly two and a half weeks since the first date and Lexa and Clarke text every day with each other. At night they sometimes have a short phone call, though one time a phone call accidentally lasted all night and only stopped when sunlight was starting to brighten their respective rooms. Both women were enjoying the pace of their relationship and Clarke was ever thankful for how understanding Lexa is with their unique situation. She loves it when Lexa ask where Madi is and what she’s doing, it’s a subtle reminder that she takes her daughter seriously and is always open to getting to know her. Yes, Clarke loves when Lexa does that.

Lexa: (Happy tone) “Hello Clarke.” *Turns down music*

Clarke: (Equally happy tone) “Hello you… I got done with my work early and am looking to play hooky, what are you doing?

Lexa: (Quick chuckle) “Is that right? Well I’m just moving and unpacking boxes right now, not exciting I’m afraid, but you’re welcome to come over if you’d like. You’ll have to listen to my music though, no touching my Spotify.”

Clarke: (Makes a fake drawn out thinking noise): “Deal! I don’t have to pick up Madi today, her grandparents are having their day with her, text me the address.” (Ends call)

Lexa freezes like a statue, _‘Grandparents? She said they were both dead… The person that’s not in the picture’s grandparents then? Has to be.’_. She continues unpacking her ‘dishes’ box and makes a mental note to ask about the other person who was supposed to be Madi’s parent.

A half hour later, Clarke arrives at Lexa’s abode. It is a big white house, with a crimson red door, the doors and windows trimmed in ebony black. The blonde is taken aback by the size of the building, she could probably fit her house in it four times, upstairs and down. She rings the doorbell and when the door opens, they both look each other up and down, both with lust in their eyes and appreciation for each women’s attire. Lexa is wearing black sweat pants that sag a little at the waist showing off a little bit of the top of her underwear. She is also wearing a tight grey tank-top that is showcasing her muscles just beautifully. Clarke on the other hand is wearing light blue jeans and an equally tight soft yellow shirt that showcases a whole other asset with its low V-cut. On her face she is wearing sunglasses that Lexa thinks should be illegal because no one should look that good in sunglasses.

Our favorite couple say their hellos and Clarke gives Lexa a three second kiss before they get to work. During the two hours of:

  * Unloading boxes from the U-Haul
  * Organizing those boxes according to room
  * Bringing each group of boxes to that room
  * Unloading the contents of each box and putting them in their final resting place
  * Repeating from step three



Every so often a soft touch occurs, a glance is shared, and Clarke’s favorite, sometimes Lexa’s tank top would ride up as she was bending over showing off her stomach muscles. When she was caught staring, the brunette just smirked at her as if reading her dirty mind.

Deciding to take a water break, the two women stand in Lexa’s new kitchen. The brunette resting in the proverbial elbow of the L-shaped counter space and the blonde leaning her hip against the longest section.

Lexa: “Thank you for coming over to help, I know it wasn’t the hooky you were calling for but I’m glad you’re here.”

Clarke: “It’s no problem, I had fun… Your music isn’t half as bad as I thought I’d be. *smile at each other* And it has been great seeing you in that get up.” *points to Lexa finger moving up and down*

Lexa: (Bashful smile) “Thanks, I think. And you look beautiful today, has anyone ever told you that you shouldn’t wear sunglasses?”

Clarke: (A tad nervous) “No, why?”

Lexa: “Because it’s slightly homicidal for you to wear them, almost brought me to my knees.”

\-----------------------------------------------------

Clarke giggles putting her glass of water down and steps directly in front of the brunette placing a hand behind her on the counter on either side essentially trapping the goddess in place. “Really? That’s interesting, I wonder what else has that effect. Shall we find out?”. Lexa just stands there holding her drink curled into her chest, staring into sky blue as the blonde slowly unties the drawstring on her sweatpants. She gasps when Clarke abruptly slides her hand in her pants and starts exploring. “Oh, how ready you are. Mmm.”.

 Her fingers run up and down, every so often teasing that little bundle of nerves for just a second. “Clarke!” she moans out in plea for more.  That’s all the encouragement the blonde needs to simultaneously enter her while going in for a kiss of fire. Clarkes left-hand grabs the glass out of the brunette’s hands sets it down and grabs onto brown curls, deeping the kiss. She starts nipping and sucking down the length of that smooth neck leaving marks as she goes while her right-hand pumps steady and true.

Lexa is dying in the most wonderful way, moaning and heavy breathing fill the room. When Clarke finds that special spot she whimpers “Right there”, and grabs on to the blonde’s shoulder, steading herself. Then things get even better… As Clarke is slipping in and out, hitting that spot perfectly over and over again, her thumb comes up to rub tight fast circles on her clit. At the way her leg muscles jump with every swipe, she is close, so close. The blonde notices the way her muscles dance to her rhythm and hums in satisfaction in Lexa’s ear causing chills to go down the woman’s spine. When she bites the brunette’s ear, she hears a wild strangled shout as the body she’s holding by the waist tenses into stone before slumping onto her.

Lexa is panting resting her face in the crook of Clarke’s neck. “Well, if I wasn’t holding you up right now, I think you’d be on your knees; so, I guess I found another way.”, she husks out in the panting woman’s ear as she pulls out her fingers giving one last teasing rub; receiving one last whimper in return.

“I guess you did”, she responds after catching her breath and straightening up having the biggest smile on her face. She wastes no time getting her revenge, grabbing the blonde’s face bringing her to her lips, fire catching once more. She hears an adorable half gasp – half giggle sound as she picks the blonde up effortlessly and plops her on the counter. Now it’s her turn to cause moans as she kisses the blonde’s neck and sucks at her pulse point before lightly biting down. Pulling Clarke’s shirt off, she reveals two beautiful prizes and has trouble picking which one to give attention to first. She simply can’t possibly choose, so after ripping the offending material keeping them from complete freedom off, she sucks the left breast as she massages the right. Clarke lets out a short raspy “FUCK!”. That makes Lexa stops and mutter “Bed!” before picking the blonde up again and climbing the stairs playing tongue war on the walk to the bedroom.

Once they have collapsed on the bed Lexa goes straight back to work, picking up right wear she left off. She is so excited it causes her to shake and fumble on Clarke’s button and zipper, but she manages and get off the bed to not only pull of the blonde’s remaining clothes, but also her own. Crawling back on the bed and over top the now gloriously naked woman, Lexa passionately kisses her before starting her journey south.

Clarke feels like she is on fire and she never wants to be put out. The colors around the unfamiliar room seem more vivid than ever. She feels like she could do this forever and never tire of it. Lexa is having the time of her life mapping out the entirety of the blonde’s body. She wants to explore it with her finger tips and then her lips and then her tongue; there is nothing she wants more in this moment.

Once the brunette finally reaches the apex of Clarke’s thys, her heart beat in felt throughout her entire body. She grabs Lexa by the hair and tries to nudge her to where she needs her most, but the goddess is having none of it, she refuses to rush anything. In fact, she purposely slows down, placing a quick kiss on her mound before sucking and licking down each thy then up again bypassing her core to mark each hip. “LEXA!”, the woman under her shouts, this causes a smirk to form on her mouth. She gives one last bite to the middle of each thy and then dives in. The taste of her is magnificent, if she could dine on only this for the rest of her life she would, gladly. Lexa slowly licks through her folds then from her entrance up before taking that sensitive nub in her mouth. Clarke is moaning with every flick of the tongue, writhing in pleasure under Lexa’s ministrations, clinging to the sheets under her. When her world collapses like the snap of a rubber band she screams incoherent words and feels complete and utter bliss.

\-----------------------------------------------------

After a few minutes, both women are spent and lazily kissing. Once they part Lexa is laying on her stomach slightly lower on the bed and Clarke is up by the pillows on her side with her head resting on her bent arm. They talk about small trivial topics before the conversation turns serious.

Lexa: “How old is Madi?”

Clarke: (Smiles as if hearing her beautiful daughter’s laugh) “She is five. Why?”

Lexa: “That would have made you eighteen or nineteen, did your dad know you were pregnant before…”

Clarke: (Sorrowful tone) “No. He – he never got the chance, I got pregnant two days after he died.”

Lexa: “That’s very exact…”

Clarke: (Takes a deep breath and looks away) “When I was in high school, I had a boyfriend, his name was Finn.” (Anger slipping through) “He was always putting pressure on me to have sex with him, at the time I was in the mindset that it was him being a normal boy. Of course, I know now he was a dick, but back then I thought it was ok. Even though I kept telling him, I wasn’t ready, he never relented. (Starts to cry, sadness overcoming anger) After my dad died, I was an adult-kid… Eighteen and fresh out of high school with *wipes away tear* no parents, I was alone and dead inside. I started drinking heavily, but it didn’t do anything for me, it made my emptiness grow, if that was even possible. So, when my boyfriend showed up at my house to comfort me, I drunkenly threw myself at him, trying to feel something, anything.” (Wipes face and clears throat, anger coming back) “He was so excited that he was finally losing his virginity he jumped at the opportunity. It didn’t make me feel anything, I just laid there; it was like my whole body was numb. As I’ve gotten older, I realized how fucked up that situation was… He took advantage of me, not only was I drunk, I was in shock from loosing my father; he didn’t even have enough respect for me to use a condom. After he was done, he kissed me told me he loved me and fell asleep. When I wolk up, he was gone. (A few moments of silence/calms down a bit) When I found out I was pregnant, it was… an outer body experience. I can’t even describe it. My everything changed, I finally felt something; it was self-loathing, but still, it was an emotion. The first thing I did was I stopped drinking, *Grimaces and starts sobbing* I must have been pregnant for two weeks before I realized. When I told him, he said I tricked him and wanted nothing to do with me. I am fully aware that Madi saved my life, if I was not pregnant, I would have taken ever pill I could find, that I’m sure of.”

Seeing that Clarke wouldn’t look her in the eye while she spoke, Lexa thought it made her able to speak more freely so she did the same, staring at a pillow. With every word she heard, her heart broke into a million little pieces. She wanted to hold her so badly her muscles burned with strain. The way her lover lost her virginity made her enraged, if she ever saw that ‘man’, he would die by a thousand cuts. When Clarke finished and was sobbing Lexa gently asked if she could touch her. When she received a nod, she shimmied up the bed and kissed her before holding the blonde’s head to her neck. Clarke cried in her neck for a while before she calmed down. Once she did, Lexa cupped her face, used her thumbs to wipe her checks, and brought their foreheads together.

Lexa: “I am so sorry you had to go though that. You are the strongest person I know… to walk through hell and get to where you are. You are beautiful, inside and out; you are kind and funny and sexy as all get out. *Clarke half chuckles* Do not ever doubt your strength, you are a force to be reckoned with. And did I mention how sexy you are?” *Clarke fully chuckles*

Clarke: *sniffs* “Thank you.” *Stomach growls and they both laugh*

Lexa: “I was thinking Chinese, does that sound good?” (Clarke nods and they kiss)

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there is Ch 5… Well… that was… yeah.
> 
> Tell me what you think, I encourage comments so please go ahead and share your thoughts! Expect an update VERY SOON.


	6. Intimacy begets Intimacy: Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for all the comments and kudos! For the people who read this who know me personally, please don't judge me.
> 
> Today’s chapter is a bit of a shorter one… It’s Lexa’s turn to open up, or is it?

Ordering Chinese food was a nice break from the emotions that were running high. Lexa was so thankful for the chance to understand her lover better, but hearing that agony broke something in her. She decided that no matter what, she would try to make her future shine so bright, that maybe - just maybe, the darkness of her past wouldn’t be so present; It would be her life’s mission.

The two women both got half-way dressed, wearing just underwear and a shirt. They were sitting on the living room floor eating their dinner. The couches have not arrived, but the coffee table had, so it became their makeshift dining table as they watched a movie. It was a light moment in their relationship as they sat content together, something just felt like it was finally settled. After the movie ended, Lexa got up and stuck out her hand. They walked upstairs together and got into bed to mindlessly watch TV for an hour happy in each other’s embrace. It was late and the brunette fell asleep first, Clarke took the opportunity to study this beautiful creature that, amazingly, seemed to want her. She fell asleep committing ever detail of that relaxed face.

_“MOMMA! YOU HAVE TO WAKE UP!!! MOOOOOOOOM!” She is running and running but can’t seem to reach her. Momma is on the ground and she is not moving. “MOMMA – MOMMA PLEASE, YOU HAVE TO WAKE UP!” She can’t breathe, smoke is getting thicker and thicker, the heat is getting more intense with every second. “I SEE A SURVIVOR! 3 O’CLOCK, THE ROOF WON’T HOLD ON MUCH LONGER”, a man yells behind her. She needs to get to Momma, then everything will be ok, just get to Momma. Then she’s being pulled away, something has curled around her waist and she can’t get to Momma! “NO!!! LET ME GO! MOMMA! MOMMY HELP!!!”. “LEXA!”, she hears a calming voice, it feels like home. “LEXA, YOU HAVE TO WAKE UP!”_

Lexa wakes up in a puddle of sweat, she is being cradled like a child in Clarke’s arms. She calms down and forces the pair to break. “Oh, sorry I should have warned you about the night terrors. I’m fine, I promise. Let’s go back to bed.”, she states. Clarke is taken aback by Lexa’s nonchalant attitude and freezes staring at the brunette, confusion and concern filling her features. “Clarke, I’m fine, really… I’m sorry I scared you, let’s go back to bed.”, she tries again. The blonde slowly lowers back onto the bed and curls into her arms. _‘This is soooo not the end of that conversation’_ , Clarke thinks before slipping back into the abyss.

\-----------------------------------------------------

A phone is ringing somewhere in the room then it stops and starts up again, Clarke answers it.

Clarke: (Groggy voice) “Hello?”

Madi: “Mommy!”

Clarke looks over to see Lexa looking on intently, she feels weird talking to her daughter while being in bed with her lover but wants the chance for it to become normal. She starts talking and gages her reaction.

Clarke: (Trying to wake up, mom voice) “Hey my love! How’d you sleep? How was Grandma and Grandpa, were you a good girl?” (Lexa just smiles at her)

Madi: (Excited) “I slept ok, I missed you not tucking me in… Grampa and Gramma were funny! We watched a movie and then played fort. What are you doing mommy? What’s for dinner?”

Clarke: (Sorrowful tone) “Aww my love, I’m sorry I missed tucking you in, I’ll do a double-triple tuck in tonight, promise.” (Trying to match excitement) “But that sounds like allot of fun, I’m glad you had a good time baby! Umm… Mommy’s just watching TV in bed. I don’t know yet love, what do you want for dinner?”

Madi: (Super excited) “OOO-OOO I-I want……………. I want pizza!!!”

Clarke: (Giggles) “Well alright then, pizza for my princess it is!”

Madi: OOO WITH PEPERONI!”

Clarke: (Giggles) “Yes, with peperoni… I gotta go my love; I’ll pick you up soon. KISSES!” *Kissing sound*

Madi: “Love you Mommy!” *Kissing sound*

Clarke: (Heart melting) “Oh, I love you too, more than anything.” (Phone call ends)

After her lover puts her phone back on the table and lets out a long breath, Lexa can’t help herself. As Clarke is staring at the celling, she rolls on top of her and starts kissing her neck. “You are a great mom.*kiss* I wish there were more like you. *kiss* I can’t wait to meet her, *kiss* officially” The mom in her melts and the woman in her warms; she rolls the both of them over and starts planting open mouthed kisses down the side of her neck before coming back up to her lips for a passionate embrace. Clarke wants to shove her tongue down this beautiful woman‘s throat, but they need to talk before she has to leave. Clarke pulls away and tries to get some answers.

Clarke: “As much as I’d like to continue *kiss*, we need to talk about last night before I have to go pick up Madi.”

Lexa: “If we have time to talk before you leave, I’d much rather spend it doing this” (Starts sliding her hand south)

Clarke: (Breathless) *Gasp* “Oh Lex… LEXA!”

She enjoys it for a moment but grabs her wrist and pulls it above her head, holding it there. Lexa tries continuing with her other hand but the blonde grabs that too and brings it next to her other hand.

Clarke: (Trying to regain composure) “Lexa, not fair. We NEED to talk”

Lexa: (Pouting) “No-no we don’t”

Clarke: (Melts) “What is that? *looks to that pout* THAT, double not fair!” *Deep kiss, sucks on that bottom lip before pulling back* “No wait! We need to talk!”

Lexa: (Irritated) “Clarke damn it, it’s nothing, I’m FINE!” (Calms down) “I have had a troubled childhood, ok? I have night terrors almost every night… I’m sorry I didn’t warn you. I just haven’t had someone sleep with me in my bed for a long while, I didn’t think to warn you.”

Clarke has so many thoughts and feelings running through her mind, she can’t figure out what to say. She just lays there hovering over this beautiful woman that has tremendous hidden pain bottled up. She doesn’t want to push but doesn’t want to back down and act like it’s nothing either. She lets go of her lover’s wrists and cradles her face before planting a soft sorrowful kiss on her lips.

Clarke: (Sad whisper) “I’m sorry. *Connects foreheads together* “Please talk to me. Let this be more.”

Lexa gasps hearing those words repeated back to her, and she looks up into those oceans and losses herself. She feels like she wants to cry, but nothing ever comes down her cheeks.

Clarke: “Please…”

Lexa: (Throat burning with unshed tears) “Clarke, I’ll tell you one day. Just not right now, please?”

The blonde lets out a soft “Ok.”, and they resume their kissing, but this time at a much slower pace. Clarke leaves shortly after with a lot of questions, my how the tables have turned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there is Ch 6… What happened to Lexa?  
> Tell me what you think, I encourage comments so please go ahead and share your thoughts! Expect an update soon.


	7. Mysteries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for all the comments and kudos! For the people who read this who know me personally, please don't judge me.
> 
> I won’t spoil anything with a summery, I wonder how many of you loveys will see this coming. This is a bit of a shorter chapter.

**A Week Later**

Lexa: What is Madi doing tomorrow night?

Clarke: Her Grandfather is taking her to the fair… Why

Lexa: Will she be spending the night at her grandparents’ house?

Clarke: Yeeeeess… Lexa?

Lexa: I know it’s late, but Anya and Raven want the four of us to have a movie night at my place. Would you be willing?

Clarke: Sure! ;) Goodnight Lex

Lexa: Sweet dreams Clarke

Clarke frowns at that, she never noticed the irony there, and they still haven’t talked about Lexa’s nightmare problem. Her lover always ends her nights saying sweet dreams to her just to wake up screaming her way through a night terror. She falls asleep thinking of ways to try to break through some very tall walls.

The next night two couples are sitting on either ends of a long sofa, a romantic comedy is playing on the television. Clarke is asleep snuggled into Lexa’s side; meanwhile, Anya is Stradling Raven and they are not paying attention to the movie.

Lexa: (Amused tone) “Anya, you know where my guestroom is right?” (Scoops up Clarke in her arms)

Anya: (Doesn’t stop making out with her girlfriend) “Mmmhmm”

Lexa: (Laughs) “Then go use it, do not ruin my couch!”

Both pairs get up to go to their respective rooms for the night.

Clarke wakes up to wild movement in her bed, she is confused for a split second but then she hears Lexa yelling, “I DIDN”T MEAN TO! I DIDN’T MEAN TO! HE HURT ME!”. “LEXA IT”S OK, IM RIGHT HERE! WAKE UP, IM RIGHT HERE!” the blonde yells while she’s cupping her lovers face. When the brunette wakes she is panting and trying desperately to get air into her lungs. The bedroom door opens, and Anya is standing there wrapped in a bed sheet.

Anya: (Looking at Clarke with a sad expression) “Do you need some help?”

The blonde tries and fails to get Lexa to look at her in the eye, so she ends up just resting her forehead on the woman’s temple.

Clarke: (Cautions tone) “Baby, your sister is hear, do you need her to stay?”

Lexa: (Tiny voice) “No I’m fine.”

Clarke: (Mumbles mostly to herself) “*Sighs* No you’re not!” (Looks up at Anya) “I got her.”

Anya: (Nods to Clarke and gentle tone) “I’m close by if you need me Sis, Love you.” (Exits)

The two stay there not moving while Lexa calms her breathing. Once again, the brunette refuses to act like there is a problem and calmly tells Clarke to go to bed and apologizes. Clarke is trying not to push and be patient like Lexa has been to her, but she is finding it very difficult, she can’t stand to see her lover hearting and not help. They both go back to sleep and stay asleep for the rest of the night.

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Two weeks Later**

_‘“CLARKE! YOU HAVE TO WAKE UP!!! CLAAAAARRRKE!” She is running and running but can’t seem to reach her. Clarke is on the ground and she is not moving. “CLARKE – CLAAARRKE PLEASE, YOU HAVE TO WAKE UP!” She can’t breathe, smoke is getting thicker and thicker, the heat is getting more intense with every second. “I SEE A SURVIVOR! 3 O’CLOCK, THE ROOF WON’T HOLD ON MUCH LONGER”, a man yells behind her. She needs to get to Clarke, then everything will be ok, just get to Clarke. Then she’s being pulled away, something has curled around her waist and she can’t get to Clarke! “NO!!! LET ME GO! CLARKE! CLARKE!!! I NEED TO HELP HER!!”. “LEXA BABY PLEASE!”, she hears Clarke’s voice and is searching around. She’s awake, she’s ok! Where is she? “CLAAARRRKE!?!”’_

She is screaming that name as she wakes, she finds herself again being held in comforting arms, it feels like home. “Lexa, I’m right here!”, the tone of that voice is so soothing. _‘Clarke is fine, Oh, thank you! She is fine and here.’_

Lexa: “I’m alright Clarke, lets go back to sleep.”

Clarke: (Whispers to herself) “No!” (Yell into the room) “NO! WE ARE GOING TO TALK ABOUT THIS RIGHT FUCKING NOW!”

Lexa: (Surprised tone) “Clarke? I’m fi-”

Clarke: “NO YOU’RE FUCKING NOT! YOU SAID YOU WANTED MORE! YOU SAID YOU WANTED ME TO TALK TO YOU! I’VE TOLD YOU THINGS, AND YOU KNOW ABOUT MADI, SO FUCKING TALK TO ME!” (Trying not to cry) “Pleeeeaaase baby, please!”

Lexa: (Weirdly calm) “I can’t.”

Clarke looks at Lexa’s face and she sees it; the mask is on and she will get nowhere. She has ran into the wall once again and fell flat on her ass. She gets up off the bed and puts her clothes back on, leaving without a word from either woman.

\-----------------------------------------------------

**The Next Night**

Clarke is in her daughter’s bedroom doorway looking at her sleep, she loves her with everything she is. She closes the door after making sure the nightlight was on and gets ready for bed. Before she gets to her room, she hears a light knock on the front door. When she opens it she is shocked.

Lexa: (Happy) “Why hellooooo, my beeeutiful girlfrien. Y-you smmmeeeell nice. Come er’ sexy!” (Grabs Clarke by the waist and roughly kisses her)

Clarke: (Pushes away) “Lexa? Madi is here… Jesus, your drunk. Please don’t tell me you drove here!

Lexa: (Confused) “Oh babe! I’m fine! I-I want yoooou, shoo me my bedroo.”

_‘Oh Jesus fuck, does my life keep getting better’_ , she decides to take Lexa to her bed to sleep it off and wake up early to get her out of her house. Getting to her room was unsurprisingly a challenge, the drunk goddess was not helping at all. Once they got to the bed Clarke pushed her on to it and took her shoes off. After the last shoe hit the floor she was pulled on top of the brunette and sloppily kissed. “I killed someone”. Clarke froze, she looked down and saw that Lexa was now passed out. She gingerly got off the bed and was in shock. _‘WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK! What do I do? What do I do? SHIT MADI!!!!!’_

Clarke goes to her closet and gets a box down from a high shelf, she takes something out of the box and puts it in her purse. She tiptoes to her daughter’s room and picks her up. Hurriedly, she walks to her car careful in putting Madi in her car seat, and speeds away. Once at a safe distance she slows down and tries to wrap her mind around the murderer asleep in her bed. She get’s to Finn’s parents house and disregards their panicked questions.

Clarke: “I’m really sorry about this Marcus. It is just for tonight, and I’m sorry I can’t say more. I need to think first before I say anything. I’ll sleep with Madi ok, Goodnight.

Marcus: “Ok, sweetie, I’ll see you in the morning then?”

Clarke: “I can’t think past tonight, I’m sorry.”

Marcus: “It’s ok Clarke, go on to bed, try to sleep.

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Next Morning**

Lexa wakes up in a strange room, _‘My head is killing me… Where am I?’_. She looks around the room and sees a picture of Clarke and Madi on the bedside table, _‘NO, what did I do?!’_. Her phone rings and she answers it, it is Clarke. Before she can even say hi, she hears a deadly voice, “Meet me at Grounder’s Park, I’m waiting.”, and then the line goes dead. _‘What the fuck did I do last night?!?’_ , she puts her shoes on and runs out the door in a panic.

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there is Ch 7… Hmmmmmm…. DUN-DUN DUUUUUN!  
> Tell me what you think, I encourage comments so please go ahead and share your thoughts! Expect an update soon.


	8. What May Be is Possible

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for all the comments and kudos! For the people who read this who know me personally, please don't judge me.
> 
> Continuation…  
> Warning: Mentions of past abuse

Lexa showed up at the park in record time, she was out of breath and glanced around for golden hair. She spied her sitting on a bench close to the left arm of the seat with her purse shoved in between her thigh and the arm. The blonde’s hand was in her purse and it causally stayed there. She was staring in front of her, but it seemed like she wasn’t looking at anything; her whole body was rigid. Lexa walked up and sat on the bench as far away as possible, leaving about two feet between them. When Clarke looked her way, what normally was sunny skies was now icy and dead. Her heart dropped and she was terrified about what was going on, she saw the blonde’s arm that was shoved in her purse twitch in anger. The two women just sat there looking at each other, rage stalking fear.

Clarke: (Scary calm) “This is your one and only opportunity to explain what you did. Talk… _Now_.”

Lexa: (hesitant) “Clarke, I’m not sure what’s going on, I am not entirely sure what happened last night. Where is Ma-”

Clarke: (Burst of rage) “DON’T YOU FUCKING SAY MY DAUGHTER’S NAME!!” (Looks quickly around before settling again on Lexa) “Tell me what you did. Why I shouldn’t regret everything we have done. Choose your words _very_ carefully.” (Lexa is stunned) “SPEAK!”

Lexa: (Panicked) “I have no idea what the fuck is going on… I woke up in your-”

Clarke: (Hushed icy tone) “You said you murdered someone…”

And the silence was deafening, staring at each other saying nothing. It was now or never; this was the make or break moment. Everything or nothing, there is no middle ground. After minutes go by, the brunette puts her emotions in check and relaxes her face.

Lexa: (Calm) “When I was eleven, I was in a foster house with a man named Titus, he was abusive. The last time he hit me and told me to go to my room, I was doing as he bid when I looked back and saw him headed for the stairs. I snapped and ran at him pushing him down the stairs. He died on impact at the bottom… cracked his skull open.”

Clarke: “And you aren’t in jail or a psych ward because…”

Lexa: “I lied to the police. I told them I was running away from being hit when he fell down the stairs. I don’t know if they believed me or not… He always hit me where it would be covered by clothes, but luckily, that day he gave me a black eye and a welt on my cheek. They didn’t need to see all the other bruises from days past up until the minutes before. If they believed me or pitied me, it doesn’t really matter, they closed the case fast and shipped me off to another house.”

As Lexa was speaking her mask slowly and subtly slipped away letting her truth spill into her words. Clarke saw it in her eyes, the familiar self-loathing and guilt. She knows there is honesty in the air and feels regret in her actions from her phone call, to right now. Lexa sees Clarke’s hand move in her purse and hears a metal click, she knows what is in there now, and she feels destroyed for making the blonde _that_ scared of her. Her mask is fitted back onto her features.

Lexa: “I am incredibly sorry Clarke. I never meant to turn you into this. Do not fear me, I would never harm you. I will move back to Washington D.C and never bother you again, please forgive me for scaring you.” (She moves to get up but is stopped when Clarke grabs her wrist)

Clarke: (Regret filled tone) “Lexa sit your ass down; we are not done talking.” (Lets go of wrist) “Like hell you’re moving away.”

Lexa: “Clarke-”

Clarke: “Just give me a minute to process.” (Fiffteen minutes Later) “I’m glad you killed him. Madi is at her grandparents’ house… When you told me you killed someone, I grabbed her off her bed and ran away.”

Lexa: (Hurt) “My god Clarke, I am so sorry for everything. I-I should have never pursed you, especially after I found out about Ma- her. I was thinking with my heart and not my head.”

Clarke stands up and looks expectantly at Lexa, once she stands up, she wraps her arms around the brunette, and they embrace relaxing their muscles for long minutes. “Let’s go.”, the blonde says while walking away. When she realizes no one is following her, she went back, grabbed the woman’s hand and pulled her along.

Clarke drives to the nearest McDonalds and buys breakfast through the drive-thru. She then goes to her house and pulls the brunette in with her. They sit at the kitchen counter on stools and eat in half-comfortable silence. When they are both done eating, the blonde pulls Lexa into the master bathroom and starts filling the tub. She starts undressing the woman when hands stop her.

Lexa: “What are you doing?”

Clarke: “ _We_ are taking a bath, let me.”

When hands fall away and any attempt to stop her vanishes, she continues stripping her partner before getting to herself and stepping in the hot water. Leaning back and opening her legs she motions for Lexa to sit down, they soak together hearts beating as one. After a half-hour, Clarke stands up followed by Lexa and pulls the drain plug turning on the showerhead. She grabs the shampoo and starts washing long chestnut locks. After she grabs a wash cloth and bodywash she hands it to the goddess before washing her own hair and body. When they enter the bedroom, Clarke gives Lexa a change of clothes and they get dressed.

Clarke: “Do you need anything for a hangover?”

Lexa: “No.”

Clarke: (Nods and grabs her hand) “Come.”

She pulls her into the living room where they both sit on the couch. They are both siting sideways with an arm resting on the back of the couch facing one another. Clarke hold four of Lexa’s fingers and rubs her thumb back and forth on her knuckles, after a while she interlocks their fingers and settles any motion. She brushes a brown curl out of the woman’s eye with her other hand and whispers “I still want us to be more.”.

Before Lexa thinks about it, she is moving to straddle the blondes lap and is kissing her gently. She is so happy that this – whatever it is – wasn’t ending and that her kiss is being reciprocated, she starts unbuttoning her lover’s shirt. Her wrists are held and she stops everything to look into cool blue.

Clarke: “We still have _allot_ to talk about before we can have _more_.”

Lexa: (Disappointed nod) “I understand.”

Clarke: *Kiss* “… And I have to get Madi very soon. *Kiss* We will talk this weekend at your place alright?” *Kiss*

Lexa: “If you’re willing, I’m always here.” *Kiss*

After a brief sweet makeout session, Clarke drops Lexa off at her house and goes to pick up her daughter.

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Finn’s Parents’ House**

Madi: (Excited) MOMMY!

Clarke: (Tries to match excitement) “Hey my love, *Hugs her and gets a kiss on the cheek* how’d you sleep?”

Madi: “Gooood, I was confused when I woke up here and not at home. Where did you go?”

Clarke: I’m sorry my love, but mommy had somethings she had to do and I didn’t have any options.”

Madi: “Are we going home soon? Charlette wants to play.”

Clarke: “Yes we are, we just have to say goodbye to Grandma and Grandpa first.” *Takes hand and walks to kitchen* (To Marcus and Callie) “Thank you guys for last night, we’re gonna go.”

Marcus: “No thank you necessary dear.”

Callie: “This little one is my favorite person-”

Marcus: “Hey!”

Callie: “Shut up handsome. Anyway, she and you are welcome anytime day or night; gladly.”

Clarke: “You have no idea how much you guys’ support has been to me, I love you both.”

Marcus & Callie: “We love you too!”

Callie: “Both of you.”

They all hug each other and say their goodbyes. Clarke gets Madi home in time for her playdate.

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Lexa’s House**

She walks into her bedroom and falls on her bed in a huff.

_‘It’s been SUCH a long day. I can’t believe I told Clarke that! I’ve never told anyone what I did… Not even Anya! What the fuck was I thinking! There are no statutes of limitations for murder, if she says something I’m fucked! She will never trust me around her child… How could she? She seemed relatively fine with it though… I don’t know what is happening! Should I just leave now? I mean if I just disappear it solves so many problems… but I can’t do that! I love her- Oh my god! I LOVE HER! When did that happen? God, I am so screwed!’_

Her phone buzzed and disrupted her thoughts.

Clarke: Stop thinking so hard we WILL talk about everything I PROMISE

Clarke: Madi is playing with her friend rn if you want to talk like we normally do you can call me

Clarke: Not about todays craziness tho just talk. Madi will be occupied for the next hour or 2

She immediately dials Clarkes number.

Clarke: (Happy) “Hi.”

Lexa: (Breathes out the breath she was holding) “Hi Clarke…”

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there is Ch 8… YAY or NAY?  
> Tell me what you think, I encourage comments so please go ahead and share your thoughts! Expect an update soon.


	9. Intimacy Begets Intimacy: Part III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for all the comments and kudos! For the people who read this who know me personally, please don't judge me.
> 
> The time to talk has come!

**That Weekend**

The past few days has been weird for Lexa, her and Clarke talk and text like normal, like nothing ever happened. Clarke forbid her from talking about important topics (Not that she had a problem with that) and told her that they would wait for their regular Saturday night/Sunday morning time together. It was now that Saturday evening and she was getting nervous as to what would happen. She would go through different scenarios in her mind. One was of yelling and breaking things and storming off, another was of crying and storming off, and the one she dreaded the most was the calm ‘I can’t do this anymore’ and storming off. The doorbell rang and she took a meditative breath and decided to spin the wheel to see what she got.

Opening the door to the blonde took a shocking amount of strength, but when she finally did, she didn’t regret it. Much to her surprise the first thing that happened was a gentle kiss, this did much to quiet her nerves down. When the blonde pulled back, they looked into one another’s eyes and Lexa leaned in for another. The content hum she heard made her back tingle and she pushed on to deepen the kiss. Clarke’s hand came up to her chest and lightly pushed signaling to stop, so she did but didn’t pull away completely.

Clarke: (Whisper) “As much as I love this, lets get to that talk.” *Kiss*

Lexa: (Whisper) *Deep kiss* “If this is the end, please tell me now; don’t drag it on.”

Clarke: “Stop that. We are going to talk and work through things, I don’t want to end anything. *Deep kiss* Except for this standing make-out thing we got goin, let’s go sit.” (Goes to walk away but is pulled into a searing kiss that takes her breath away) “Lex…”

Lexa: (Clears throat) “Yes, yes, fine, to the couch.”

The couple sits on the couch much like they did the last time they saw each other, sideways with one arm on the back of the couch, both facing the other woman. They breath together for a few moments before words are spoken.

Clarke: “Before we start, I just want to say, that last week was a shitstorm, and I regret much of how things went down. And I meant it when I said I’m glad you did what you did. (Clears throat) Ok, In my eyes, and I’m saying this honestly, what you did wasn’t criminal, it was justice and self-defense.”

Lexa: “Clarke-”

Clarke: “I’m not finished. I’m so sorry you had to go through that, really, I can’t even imagine. *screws eyes shut and whispers* If something like that happened to Madi…”

Lexa: (Blurts out) “I WOULD NEVER HURT MADI!”

Clarke’s eyes fling open wide and she caresses the panicked woman’s cheek. “Hey, stop that, I know you would never harm a child. What I was going to say was that if she was in a similar situation, I would be so proud of her for saving herself. *Moves to straddle Lexa* You have a strength that I admire, you survived that and I’m glad you did.”.

A sweet short kiss was left on the brunette’s lips, a second later she rushed forward connecting their lips heatedly and circled her arms around her lover’s waist. Minutes later she stands up, legs wrapped around her hips, and she climbs the stairs to the bedroom. She lowers both of them on the bed and hovers over Clarke, asking permission. When she’s pulled back to her lover’s mouth, she takes that as permission granted and pulls away to take off her shirt. Fingertips start caressing and scratching her abs and her whole-body aches to be touched. Lexa pulls her lover in to a seated position to strip her of her shirt and bra before falling back on the pillows together.

Their next kiss is a pipe bomb, teeth clashing and tongues wrestling. Her hands traveled down to the waistband of the blonde’s pants, sliding them and her panties down her legs to be thrown onto the floor. She wastes no time kissing and sucking bruises up one leg and down the other. Looking down at the woman below her, a sexy writhing mess, she starts her feast. Clarke is bucking so hard into her face she is surprised she doesn’t have a nose bleed, but it is so worth it. She uses both her hands on either hip to force anymore movement so she can eat at her pace.

Clarke is moaning and clawing at the sheets, her face showcasing agonizing pleasure. She screams as her orgasm wracks her insides. When she comes back to earth, she realizes Lexa hasn’t stopped, her tongue persistently flicks over her clit alternatingly sucking it. She grabs a handful of hair and pulls lightly but she hears a growl and looks down to see black intense eyes before the woman starts her ministrations again. Her legs are stuck open, and her hips are held in place, all she can do is grab onto sheets for dear life. Then out of nowhere there is two fingers plunging into her, she cries out “LEXA!”. The tongue doesn’t stop its persistent torture and fingers are rubbing her inner wall, nothing has ever felt this good. She is close to the edge of a cliff and only has one desire; jump off. She is just about to leap when fingers and tongue switch places. Slick fingers rub tight circles over her bundle and Lexa’s tongue is licking her walls, slipping in and out. It is so intense, Clarke no longer has the opportunity to take the leap, she is now being thrown off of the cliff.

Lexa looks up without stopping her ministrations to see her lover break into tiny pieces, arch off the bed and scream her name. She doesn’t slow down or stop the entire time, even when the aftershocks subside. Hands come up on either side of her head and she hears a faint “Too much. Please.”. She finally relents taking one final swipe through her fold for one final taste, moans at the exquisite taste, and crawls up the crashed body. Laying down next to and spooning her, was one of the greatest feeling of her life, and she never wanted it to end. _‘I love you beautiful.’_ , she thinks, not daring to say those words out loud.

Clarke: (Raspy voice) “You are something else. *rubbing arm pressed against her stomach* How did I get so lucky?”

Lexa: “I *Kisses back of neck* am the lucky one Clarke.”

Clarke: “What is your favorite color?”

Lexa: (Smiles at the randomness) “What ever color your eyes are in every moment.”

Clarke: (Chuckles) “Who knew you could be such a sap.”

Lexa: (Amused) “Hey, you’re the one who asked how you got so lucky… To my calculations we are both saps.”

Clarke: (Turns around in arms while speaking) “So, we’ll be saps together then? *Kiss* Deal?”

Lexa: (Serious) “Always.” _‘And forever’_

After slow sweet kissing, Clarke regretfully decides to break the bubble and get to the task at hand.

Clarke: “Soooo…”

Lexa: “Yes Clarke?”

Clarke: “Was that one of your nightmares? Is that why you got drunk and accidentally told me?”

Lexa: (Hesitantly) “Yes…”

Clarke: (Somber) “*Nods* And what was the first one about? The first time I slept here.”

Lexa: “………...” (Struggling) “That was about my mom’s death.” (Non-emotional) “The house caught fire everything was burning. I saw her on the ground but couldn’t get to her, something collapsed in the hallway and I was dragged out of the house by a fireman.”

Clarke: “I’m sorry.” (Holds her closer) “How old were you?”

Lexa: “Eight, I think. Perhaps a little younger.”

Clarke: (Broken) “Fuck…”

Lexa: “Then when I was eleven, _that_ happened. And when I was fourteen, I met Anya, she was adopted by an awesome couple. And a year later I was adopted too.”

Clarke: “You spent allot of time in the system.”

Lexa: “Can we talk about something else?”

Clarke: “We don’t have to talk at all”

They both lean in and share a languid kiss; it slowly builds and the blonde rolls them, so she is on top. They have soft unhurried sex with Clarke putting everything she needs to communicate into it. She worships her goddess gently and revels in each whimper and moan. Returning to cuddling before falling asleep, Clarke has one thought in her head, _‘I love her.’_.

\-----------------------------------------------------

It’s now mid-day on Monday and Madi is off school for a teacher’s work day, they are in the garage painting on a large canvas together when her phone rings. She kisses her daughter and tells her she’ll be right back. When she sees the caller ID, she smiles.

Clarke: (Happy) “Hello Lex.”

Lexa: (Amused) “Clarke… How are you doing today?”

Clarke: “I am awesome right now. Madi has no school today so we are having fun painting. Aren’t we my love?”

Madi: (In the back round) “A LOT of fun mommy.”

Clarke: (Giggles) “Anyway, what are you doing?”

Lexa: (Clarke can hear the smile) “I’m was just finishing up some emails before I take my lunch break.”

Clarke looks to Madi and out to the drive way lost in her thoughts.

_‘It has been nearly three months, she is amazing. Madi would love her like I do. Is it too soon? I mean she may not be ready for all of this… But she always askes about her and she shows interest. Fuck! What the fuck to I do?’_

Lexa: “Clarke?”

Clarke: (Speaks a hundred miles an hour) “Do you want to come over for your lunch break?”

Lexa: (Seconds of silence) “But Ma-”

Clarke: “I know…”

Lexa: “Are you sure?

Clarke: (Seconds of silence) “Yes.”

Lexa: “Be there in twenty.” (Phone call ends)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there is Ch 9… Next will be Lexa and Madi scenes. I’m excited!
> 
> Tell me what you think, I encourage comments so please go ahead and share your thoughts! Expect an update soon, though it might take a bit, I have some stuff I have to do.


	10. The Test

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been busy but you know I ant gonna stop till this story is over, promise. Let’s do dis…
> 
> Ch Summary: Lexa and Madi’s first official meeting.  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> MY EMAIL for fic-Art (I might post on chapters if given permission) or personal messages/whatever (Don’t be creepy though): Tayqueendom@Gmail.com

There they were on the floor of the garage, painting a on a gigantic canvas. Mixing colors and painting, then painting over that, then again, and of course one more time. Once it was right – no perfect – you just knew. Madi was having so much fun on her day off, painting with her mom was one of her favorite past times after all.

Lexa drove up to the house with memories of her last visit rolling in her mind. She had accidentally met Clarke’s daughter, she was tricked by her sister Anya, though now she was grateful for it. The trick forced them to come head to head and have an honest conversation. She was nervous to meet Madi officially, but her excitement in what it meant for her and Clarke made her heart feel incredibly warm and a smile of the biggest quality form on her lips. Clarke was saying that she was ready, she trusted her and that this was serious enough and would last enough for her to have some sort of a relationship with her daughter.

This was a big deal for her, she has never introduced her daughter to anyone. Hell, she never really dated either, so this was all new. Well, she did have flings and friends with benefits before but nothing like this, nothing that involved her heart. She was terrified but something was making her power through, it told her that whatever was going on between her and Lexa was real and it was worth it, _she_ was worthy. She just hoped Madi responded well and maybe, just maybe her daughter would accept her girlfriend. _‘Damn it, we haven’t even made THAT official either, what the fuck am I doing? Shit, well if this went well, they would be having a conversation about what EXACTLY they were to each other.’_

Looking up seeing the car inch to a stop, her heart dropped into her toes. She kissed her daughter’s temple and told her to stay put before getting up off her knees and walking down the driveway.

Clarke: (Nervous) “Hey Lex.”

Lexa: (False Calm) “Hey Clarke… Umm, *Looks briefly at Madi who is staring at her intently* am I allowed to touch you? I-I mean in front of her… I- can I kiss you?

Clarke: (More at ease) “Let’s play it by ear… *Kisses her cheek* Is this still something you want?”

Lexa: (Serious) “Ab-so-lutely.”

Taking Lexa’s hand, they both walk into the garage, art supplies are everywhere. Madi is back to concentrating on making a straight sapphire blue line. No one knew how to start so for a little while they just were in each other’s presence, Madi knelled over the caves and Clarke & Lexa standing not far off. To the couple’s surprise, Madi was the one to break the Ice.

She looks up looking from Clarke to this vaguely familiar tall and slender brunette. Hazel eyes meet green, “Do you want to paint the moat of the castle? I’m trying to paint the royal banner above the drawbridge.”. The two adults look at each other in hesitant happiness, then the brunette speaks as she walks over, “It would be my honor. What Color are we thinking?”. Once the two strangers are kneeled down side by side, the little girl holds out a brush and says “purple”. With a giggle the brunette takes the brush stating that if purple is what she wants, purple it what she would get.

Clarke just stands off to the side stuck in a realm of wonder, amusement, and relief. There her lover is on the ground in an expensive corporate suit paining a cartoony castle scene with her baby girl. _‘Wait Shit!’_

Clarke: (Slight panic) “Wait Lex, you’ll ruin your suit!”

Lexa: (Amused not looking up from her work) “I have other clothes Clarke; I couldn’t care less. Plus, they will make a great memento of today.

Clarke: (Melty) “Riiiiight… *Clears throat* Well, next time I’ll remind you to bring a change of clothes.” _‘Next time…’_

Lexa: (Knowing the gravity of ‘Next Time’, Looks into sky blue) “Will do.”

For the next half-hour the three of them painted away, only one incident occurred. Madi accidentally knocked over a container of beach sand brown paint that fell on Lexa’s right pant leg, successfully fulfilling the prophesy of ruined clothes. Madi froze and Clarke was about to yell when Lexa just bust out laughing and put her hand up to stop the angry mom beside her. Before to long all three girls were laughing together.

Madi: (Amused) “Sorry!”

Lexa: (Also Amused) “It’s ok Madi, there just clothes. Besides more memories built into them now.”

Clarke: (Melted and Amused) “Ok I think it’s time to call it for today hmm? I’m hungry and it’s Lexa’s lunch break, let’s clean up and go into the house. Madi wash your hands and change out of your paint clothes. Me and Lexa are gonna clean the brushes before I make lunch.”

Madi nods and gets up to do as she is told, leaving the two adults alone in the garage.

Lexa: “Well… I think that went we-”

She didn’t get to finish her sentence because soft hungry lips found hers.

Clarke: “Thank you.”

Lexa: (Dazed) “For what?”

Clarke: “For being you.”

\-----------------------------------------------------

Madi is sitting in the living room watching SpongeBob; meanwhile the happy couple are in the kitchen each making two turkey sandwiches. One with the crust cut off for Madi and one and a half for each adult, everyone has a side of potato chips. They make their way to the couch and Clarke hands Madi her plate, she is sitting on the floor using the coffee table to eat off of. Clarke sits on the side of the couch closest to her daughter and Lexa sits next to her, their knees touching.

It felt nice to both women, enjoying calm moments together, just eating sandwiches watching a cartoon. Neither one of them realized they were now snuggled up to each other with Clarke’s hands wrapped around Lexa’s arm, until Madi spoke causing everyone to freeze. “Are you with my momma?”. Lexa was terrified at this unexpected question, she felt like she was trapped in a corner. Clarke was blanking and just sat there like a statue. “I mean do you kiss each other and stuff?”. That made it worse, now Lexa was bright red, and Clarke was half stone and half trying not to laugh from anxiety. In the end Clarke managed to nod her head yes to which Madi just said, “Alright.”, and turned her head back to the TV.

After a few minutes the mom came through and she asked, “Is that ok my love?”. Clarke just received a calm nod without her daughter tearing her focus from the screen. Then Lexa’s phone rang and saved her from her own embarrassment.

Lexa: “Hello?”

Anya: “Where the hell are you? Your break was over twenty minutes ago, and we have a meeting in ten!”

Lexa: “Ummm… tell them to push it back fifteen-twenty minutes, I’m leaving now.”

Anya: “Where ar-” (Hang up)

Lexa: “I’m sorry, my lunch break was over a while ago, that was Anya.”

Clarke: (Nods) “Ok, that’s fine. Sorry for keeping you. I’ll walk you out.”

Lexa: “No-no-no I had… _So_ much fun, _really_. Bye Madi.”

Madi: (Distracted by TV) “Bye Lexa.”

[Outside by the car]

Lexa: “Soooo… How was that?”

Clarke: (Smiling) “That was unexpectedly easy, I’m kind of waiting for the other shoe to drop.” [Author: *Cough*]

Lexa: (Amused) “Ever the optimist I see. I think it went well, and I think she is ok with us so far, so I consider today a win.”

They kiss up against the driver side door, it is rushed passion, and Lexa has to use all her willpower to get in her car and shut the door. As she sees Clarke walk up the driveway, she remembers she has to make a call.

Lexa: “Call Anya.”

Robot: “Calling Anya.”

Anya: “What the fu-”

Lexa: “I’m on my way, just leaving Clarke’s, but I need you to get me a new suit for the meeting. I got paint all over me.”

Anya: (After a few seconds) “Umm, alright?”

Lexa: “See you in ten.”

\-----------------------------------------------------

**At Lexa’s Work**

Anya sees the mess Lexa has on her clothes and almost doubles over in laughter.

Anya: “Oh-oh it hurts. I thought you were kidding, what the fuck happened to you?”

Lexa: “It’s nothing Clarke and I were painting with Madi and there were accidents, please tell me you brought me a suit.”

Anya: “Yup, in your office.”

After Lexa changes, she places her now multi. colored suit in a bag to bring home and put in her closet, she wasn’t kidding about the memento talk, she will be keeping it as a keepsake. When she walks out of her office ready for her meeting Anya stops her.

Anya: “You said you, Clarke, and Madi… Madi is Clarke’s little squirt, right? How’d that go?”

Lexa: (Smiling) “Pretty good, I think. She invited me to paint with her when me and Clarke were standing there like idiots. Oh my god, she reminds me of you, no bullshit. When we were done painting me and Clarke made sandwiches… Anyway, we are all siting there and she, out of no where asks us if we are together.”

Anya: (Chuckles) “No shit, I like her already. What did you guys say?”

Lexa: “Nothing. We were frozen eventually Clarke nodded and she was like ‘ok’ and went back to watching SpongeBob.”

Anya: (Amused) “You, Lexa Woods, were watching SpongeBob covered in paint? This day just gets better and better.”

Lexa: “Hey! I had fun! Plus, Clarke was really grateful, she is a _phenomenal_ kisser.”

Anya: (Feigning disgust) “Alright Ah-La-La La-La, don’t want to hear about my little sis getting it on. Let’s go to the meeting!”

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY QUOTE OF THE DAY:  
> “Art is never finished, only abandoned.”  
> -Leonardo Da Vinci  
> [Fun Fact: Leonardo Da Vinci didn’t have a last name due to him being a bastardo (Bastard of Italy), He was just Leonardo. ‘Da Vinci’ means ‘from Vinci’, Vinci Italy is his birth place.]  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> And there is Ch 10, the BIG ONE-ZERO… Thoughts on Lex/Madi interactions, there weren’t many singled out but it’s a slow process having a partner and kid warm up to each other.
> 
> Tell me what you think, I encourage comments so please go ahead and share your thoughts! Expect an update soon. (For the next few weeks it will most likely be minimum one chapter a week on the weekend, unless something happens.)


	11. The Last Person Called

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been busy but you know I ant gonna stop till this story is over, promise. Let’s do dis…
> 
> Ch Summary: I ant gonna spoil anything… Some important stuff happens. More Lexa and Madi scenes!  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> MY EMAIL for fic-Art (I might post on chapters if given permission) or personal messages/whatever (Don’t be creepy though): Tayqueendom@Gmail.com

Two weeks have passed by, and each weekend where normally Clarke and Lexa would have their Saturday night / Sunday morning time at her house, she instead went to Clarke’s. The three of them would spend a couple of hours together and then after dropping Madi off, they would resume their normal festivities. Her, Clarke and Madi finally finished their canvas castle scene. The child did not like her technique while she was painting the purple moat ,but luckily there were pointers to be had. Madi loved to correct Lexa and Lexa loved that Madi felt comfortable enough to correct her. All was going well between them two, a snail’s pace, but it was going well. Then that phone call happened at she was now freaking out.

Lexa: (Happy) “Hello Clarke.”

Clarke: (Tired) “Fucking Finally! No one is answering their phones today! I need you to do that thing where you turn into fucking superwoman and pledge that whatever I need, you’ll do.”

Lexa: (Concerned) “Clarke… What’s going on?”

Clarke: “Don’t freak out, I’m ok just a little dizzy. I was in a car accident and hit my head, so I need to get checked out. Madi gets out of school at 4:15, that’s…….. in thirtyish minutes. I need you to pick her up and watch her, please. You actually live close by, its Ark Elementary. Can you do it? *silence* Lex?”

Lexa: (False calm) “I-uh yes, I can do that. Do you want me to take her to the hospital?”

Clarke: “NO! Uh… no, I-I don’t want her in a car any more than necessary, please walk to the school when you pick her up and take her to your place till I can call you again. They should be taking me to Arkadia General in a bit; they are still pulling someone from another car, I don’t know what the fuck happened.”

Lexa: (Concerned) “ARE YOU SURE YOU”RE OK CLARKE?”

Clarke: “Yes, I’m sure, just tired. They are about to take me. If Madi fights you say the word ‘natblida’, it’s our safe person password.”

Paramedic: (In the background) “Let’s get you going ma’am, you’ve suffered a severe concussion, I can speak to whoever’s on the phone if you need me to.”

Clarke: (To the medic) “No-no I’m goin” (To Lexa) “Are you sure you’re ok with this?”

Lexa: (False Calm) “Clarke I got it, go get checked out, call me and I’ll send a car to pick you up. Madi and I will be fine, I promise. I’ll text you throughout the day.”

Clarke: “Ok-ok, I’m sorry to have to do this to you, no one was answering their phones. I-we’re going…”

Lexa: “We’ll be fine Clarke; I’ll talk to you later.”

Clarke: (Weird sounding tone) “Yeah… Bye.” (Phone call ends)

\-----------------------------------------------------

So here Lexa was, standing outside Ark Elementary school, she has arrived twenty minutes early and is pacing back and forth.

_‘Everything will be fine, you’ve been in the same room with her a few times, she doesn’t seem to mind you. Clarke trust you for a reason, right?  It’s not like she’s a newborn, she speaks so it could always be worse. Just spending a few hours together…… ALONE….. Shit! NO, it’s no big deal. Just two people watching a movie or TV, maybe food will be good.’_

Then the front double doors swing open and children are running out into waiting arms, open car doors, and school busses. Little feet stomping away, shrieks and laughter fill the yard. Madi comes out looking around seemingly disappointed and sits on the front steps. Lexa takes a meditative deep breath before approaching, stopping at the bottom step. “Hey Madi.” Lexa said with fake enthusiasm that didn’t land quite like she hoped. She received a look of utter confusion and suspicion. “Your mom asked me to pick you up today.”, the look didn’t change. “Ummm… she told me to tell you ‘natblida’.”, though the sentence came out sounding more like a question than a statement.

The expression in the girls face finally changed, but unfortunately to a grim sadness and her hand came out, to which Lexa grabbed hesitantly. They started walking hand and hand down the street when Madi asked “What happened?”, it was such a depressed tone. Lexa was going back and forth between telling the truth and lying, Clarke didn’t specify what to tell Madi when she got here. She decided to go with her gut and tell the truth. “Your momma is ok, she got into a car accident, but she called me after it happened. She was talking and awake and perfectly coherent, they are just going to run some tests and give her strong headache medicine. She’ll be home soon, I promise.”. Somehow the child instantly relaxed at that and Lexa felt a bit of pride.

On the way they walked close by to a grocery store, she asked Madi what she liked to eat as they walked in to which she received a long list that made her smile. They ended up getting frozen pizzas, quick and simple. For desert Madi picked out a tub of cookie dough ice cream, when Lexa grabbed it out of the freezer, Madi jumped up and down. So far it was going ok.

After eating their pizzas while watching a Pirates of the Caribbean marathon it was now a little after eight and Madi was starting to fall asleep on the couch.

Lexa: (Whispering) “Clarke?”

Clarke: (Exhausted) “Hey Lex, they are going to keep me for overnight observation unfortunately. How’s Madi doing?”

Lexa: “She’s fine, we watched a few movies and ate pizza. Why do they want to keep you? What’s wrong?”

Clarke: “Nothing just a bad concussion, listen thanks for taking care of her, I’ll call Raven or Marcus to come and take her off your hands.”

Lexa: “No that won’t be necessary, she already about to pass out, she can stay the night.”

Clarke: “Are you sure?”

Lexa: “Yes Clarke, we’re fine I promise. Wait, I don’t have any clothes for her to sleep in.”

Clarke: “Just give her one of your shirts, they’re long enough to be a nightgown for her.”

Lexa: “Ok, I guess that will work. I probably should give her a bath or…?”

Clarke: “One day won’t hurt, the shirt will do fine, can you put here on the phone.”

Waking Madi up was adorable, and when she heard that her mom was on the phone seeing her eyes light up, warmed Lexa’s heart.

Madi: “MOMMA!”

Clarke: “Heeeeey my love. How has your day been?”

Madi: “It was fun, me and Lexa ate pepperoni pizzas and watched Pirated of the Caribbean all day. She’s funny, I like her. When are you coming home?”

Clarke: *Tiered chuckle* “I’m glade baby! Momma’s gonna have to stay here for the night but I’ll come and get you in the morning. Behave for Lexa and go to sleep ok?”

Madi: “Yeah Yeah… I love you momma.”

Clarke: “I love you too baby, put Lex on the phone, Nighty night my angel.”

Madi: “Night Momma.”

Lexa: “I’m here.”

Clarke: “She’s good to go all you have to do is give her the shirt and a pillow and blanket. I’ll have Marcus pick her up in the morning if I can’t. Goodnight Lex.”

Lexa: “Sweet dreams Clarke.”

\-----------------------------------------------------

_‘BEEP…BEEP… White wall are so fucking depressing, why is everything so fucking blank, this is where people come to die?! BEEP…BEEP… Would it kill them to brighten up the place? To have people’s last sight be of emptiness is double depressing. But look at her beauty, oh if only we had forever. BEEP…BEEP… “Cos, I love you please don’t stop fighting, we belong to each other.”. BEEP…BEEP… “We were supposed to have babies and grow old together.”. I hate this place! BEEP…BEEP…  Everything is so plan and everyone is so calm, like nothing important is happening. Oh, this person has a screwdriver sticking out of his neck, oh this person is… BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP. “COS! COS! PLEASE! NO!!!!”’_

Lexa woke up with a lunge screaming the word ‘no’, she hugged her knees in a seated position trying to calm her racing heart. She didn’t see the frightened little girl standing by the door until she spoke. “Are you ok?”, a tired timid voice replaced the silence. “MADI! Shit, I’m sorry to scare you. Yes, I’m fine, just a bad dream. I’m fine, go back to sleep.”. She was expecting the little girl to turn around and go back to the guest room across the hall, but that didn’t happen. “Can I sleep in here, with you?”, it was a hesitant sweet little plea. After a second or two staring into hazel eyes, she relented and pulled back the right side covers in invitation.

When they are settled Madi teases “You said a swear, you owe me a dollar.”, to which Lexa sheepishly replies “Sorry kid, you’ll get it later. Goodnight.”. They fall asleep and that’s how they are found the next morning by Clarke.

Lexa opens her eyes and sees Madi huddled into her side, the little girls back snuggled against her hip. She rubs her eyes and notices blonde hair to her left. When she sees Clarke her heart drops into her stomach. She looks like she is in pain, there is a large bruise on the side of her face along with a few scratches, and gauze covering her eyebrow, probably covering a large gash or cut. “We forgot the nightmares, Madi didn’t want me to sleep alone.”, to that she received a sad nod. She again pulls back the covers, this time on her left side (Since she shifted in the night towards the center of the bed there is room) in invitation for the blonde to join her. Clarke lets out a long breath and slowly waddles forward climbing on the bed and wrapping around her lover. There the three of them were, Lexa in-between Madi and Clarke, and it felt like home.

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY QUOTE OF THE DAY:  
> “First they put away the dealers,  
> keep our kids safe and off the street.  
> Then they put away the prostitutes,  
> keep married men cloistered at home.
> 
> Then they shooed away the bums,  
> then they beat and bashed the queers,  
> turned away asylum-seekers,  
> fed us suspicions and fears.  
> We didn't raise our voice,  
> we didn't make a fuss.  
> It's funny there was no one left to notice  
> when they came for us.”  
> -NOFX  
> [FUN FACT: The Maltese government banned Game of Thrones from filming in the country because while filming season one, a historical landmark was accidentally destroyed. However, the Maltese people blame the debacle on the lack of oversight from the Malta EPA and have even called for MEPA leaders to be beheaded and put their heads on pikes, to entice HBO to return.]  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> And there is Ch 11, I kinda liked how this one turned out, I would like to hear what you think of my Madi, I have no experience with kids so I’m basing her off of the kids of Big Little Lies since I believe they are the same age and a more modern representation of the little adults we have today that have replaced what used to be children.
> 
> Tell me what you think, I encourage comments so please go ahead and share your thoughts! Expect an update soon. (For the next few weeks it will most likely be minimum one chapter a week on the weekend, unless something happens.)


	12. Loving Care

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What’s up guys? Have any suggestions on what should come next? Always open to brainstorming, and if I don’t use your idea now, I may in a different work; Who knows? I never know what I’m going to write until I start writing and then things sort of just happen how they do. BTW I have a horrible memory so if I write something the doesn’t fit with what has happened in past chapters please tell me so I can edit it. (Example: If on Ch 4 I said they’ve been together for three months and on Ch 5 I say a two months)
> 
> Ch Summary: The aftermath of Clarke’s car accident and Lexa meets the grandparents.  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> MY EMAIL for ANYONE to use for fic-Art (I might post on chapters if given permission) or personal messages/whatever really (Don’t be creepy though): Tayqueendom@Gmail.com  
> \--If anyone creates Clarke’s painting from Ch 1, I don’t even know… I’d probably drop dead.--

An hour or two later, the trio wake up. Madi’s little feet are heard running on the floor to the bathroom which wakes up Lexa who’s stirring then causes an accidental elbow to Clarke’s injured face, and well the blonde was up now too. “Shit I’m sorry Clarke!”. “That’s two dollars you owe now!”, a child’s voice could be heard. “You’ll get it later!” Lexa shouts back. “Oh, come on guy’s, today should be a quiet day, Christ please.” Clarke says in a ruff mumbling. Madi comes back into the room and climbs back on the bed and onto her mother, they have an embrace and Lexa feels like an intruder. She says she’ll go make some breakfast and shuffles of the bed and out the door.

Clarke: (Ruff grumble) “My love I’m ok, I promise. Just some bruises and a headache.”

Madi: (Muffled from being in Clarke’s neck) “You promised you’d never leave me.”

Clarke: “And I kept that promise, didn’t I?”

Madi: “I guess…*moves to face mom* What happened to Lexa? Who is Costia?”

Clarke: “Ummm… I don’t know love, what do you mean?”

Madi: “She was yelling her name last night, and when I came in here she was huffing and hugging her knees. She was very sad.”

Clarke: “Lexa has nightmares a lot, it’s something she has to deal with unfortunately, I’m sorry we didn’t warn you.”

Madi: (Sad) “Is there anything we can do?”

Clarke: “Just support her and don’t make a big deal about it honey. *moves body and winces* UGK!”

Madi: “MOMMY! Do you need any medicine?”

Clarke: “Uh, you know that would be great do you think you could get mommy some water?”

Madi goes to the kitchen and gets help from Lexa to get her mom a drink while Clarke makes a call. When she is done both Lexa and Madi walk in, the goddess with a tray of scrambled eggs, toast, and juice; and her daughter with a piece of bacon being shoved in her mouth.

Madi: (Muffled while munching) “Lexa can cook momma!”

Clarke: “I know my love, she’s a very good cook.” *Winks at lover*

Lexa: (Concerned) “You need to take your medicine?”

Clarke nods and tries to get up but doubles over clutching her side. Lexa places the tray at the edge of the bed and runs to help her. “Ok moving is a bad idea.” Clarke tries to joke but the combination of her facial expression and her strangled voice makes the joke fall on deaf ears. Lexa lifts the blonde´s shirt a little and uncovers a large purple bruise spanning from below her breast to her hip. “JESUS CLARKE!”. Clarke pulls her shirt down at the speed of light and mumble that she’s fine with a pointed look at her daughter. Lexa sheepishly asks where her medicine is and receives a point to the blonde’s hospital bag. She gets up and quickly reads the bottle and gets out the correct dosage before handing it and the juice over to the injured woman. “You are not moving from that bed and that’s final.” The goddess gives a look that conveys she is not to be messed that causes a chuckle from the child in the room and a smirk from that child’s mother.

Clarke: (Tiered but no longer ruff tone) “Yeah, I already know. *Looks to her daughter* Grandma and pa are coming to pick you up soon; can you be a big girl and get your stuff together and change your clothes before they get here?”

Madi is really disappointed but leaves the room to do as she is bid.

\-----------------------------------------------------

The doorbell rings and Lexa goes down stairs to meet the grandparents. Opening the door, she sees two fortyish year olds. On the left is a clean-shaven white man with short brown hair and kind, but tired, dark brown eyes. On the right is a Asian-American woman with shoulder length jet black hair and gentle and wise brown eyes. “Marcus and Callie Kane?”, when she receives a nodded smile from the two, she sticks out her hand and introduces herself. After the pleasantries, the trio goes upstairs to the injured blond. Once there Lexa helps her sit up in the bed better and sits on the edge of the bed at her side.

Callie: “Clarke hun how are you doing? We’re sorry we didn’t get your message until late.”

Clarke: “It’s fine guys Lex was a life saver and she is within walking distance of Madi’s school, so it worked out perfectly since there was no way in hell I was going to let her get in a car yesterday.”

Marcus: “Well, *Looks from one woman on the bed to the other and the breakfast tray and smiles* it looks like your girlfriend has been taking care of you.”

Clarke: (Soft and thankful tone) “Yes she has.”

Callie: “Is Madi ready? We will go by your place to get anything she needs before we go to ours.”

Clarke nods and calls out for her daughter who shows up almost immediately and when she is told they are to leave soon she crawls on the bed. The little girl hugs her mom and after a groan disturbs the moment she pulls away and gingerly goes back in for much more of a gentle hug. The mother kisses her daughter on the forehead and both cheeks and they both say ‘I love yous’. To everyone’s surprise Madi then goes to the other side of the bed and pulls Lexa into a hug and whispers something into her ear that is just for Lexa’s ears. The now group of four make their way back downstairs to the front door, before they can leave Lexa tells them to wait while she goes to retrieve something. When she is back, she drops to a knee and presents a five-dollar bill and declares that she now has credit for the next three swears to come out of her mouth. Madi grins and takes the green paper before the grandparents and granddaughter walk out of her home.

\-----------------------------------------------------

“So, girlfriend hmm?” the brunette says amusedly leaning on the door jamb. “Yeah, is that ok that I said that?” said in sheepish reply. Lexa responds not in words, but in walking up to her and leaning down to kiss her deeply. Mouths connect earnestly to communicate relief of being able to have this moment and acceptance of what lays between them. “How about a bath?”, the blonde slightly nods with a heavy breath against her girlfriend’s lips.

Lexa goes and gets a large cup, two towels, and a change of clothes for each. When she comes back from putting those items in the master bathroom, she pulls the covers down and hooks her arms under Clarke’s knees and back, carrying her bridle style. Sitting her on the closed toilet she starts drawing the bath putting a lavender bath bomb in the tub to dilute. The brunette strips down and then carefully remove all clothing from the injured woman. Picking her up again she slowly lowers her into the water in a sitting position in the middle of the rounded rectangle. She then also gets into the water behind her girlfriend stretching her legs out around the woman’s body before pulling her close. The two relax together, white back to tan chest, both in absolute contentment.

After a half an hour, Lexa grabs the shampoo and starts to wash blonde locks massaging her scalp to the sound of moans and uses the cup to rinse; she repeats this process with conditioner. After washing her own hair, she grabs a washcloth and sweet-scented body wash and starts gingerly washing the woman sitting between her legs. Once the blonde’s back, arms, and neck were covered in suds, she softly asked her to lean forward and gets out of the tub to help her take up the space she previously inhabited, back flat against the back of the tub. Lexa returns to the water, this time to the middle of the tub on her knees facing the blonde. Clarke is half asleep by this point and Lexa pulls the drain plug and grabs the washcloth again to start on the rest of her girlfriend’s body. She starts at her collarbone then caresses each breast. On her abdomen Lexa is extremely gentle out of fear. To Clarke’s surprise the brunette even washes her center before re-wetting the cloth and adding more soap to start on her legs and feet. The tub is a little less than half-way full when Lexa quickly suds herself, she then stands up and helps Clarke do the same.

With both of them now standing the water level is a forth of what it was originally, reaching just above both women’s ankles. The brunette turns on the shower embracing her injured lover under the steady stream. Clarke is leaning heavily on Lexa and has her face snuggled into her shoulder with her arms wrapped around her waist. Lexa moves her hands from Clarke’s lower back, and she massages her neck and then the base of her head before running her hands through her blonde locks to make sure all soap was gone, she didn’t want her to have an itchy scalp.

The final rinse being finished, Lexa wraps Clarke in a towel and uses a second to dry blonde hair as best she can. She picks her up again and sits her back on the toilet telling her not to move. Using that second towel the brunette quickly dries herself and dresses in tank top and sweatpants. Lexa takes off the soiled bandage covering the woman’s eyebrow and takes out an emergency first aid kit that was underneath the sink. Grabbing and wetting another and smaller washcloth, she wipes Clarke’s face and then dries it. Then some Neosporin is applied an new gauze is taped back on. She then helps her girlfriend stand and at a much steadier pace, dries her and dresses her in panties and an oversized t-shirt. For the final time the injured blonde is picked up and carried, at the bed she is laid down and tucked in. She falls asleep moments after hearing “Rest now my beautiful girlfriend I’m right here.”.

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY QUOTE OF THE DAY:  
> “I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”  
> -Marilyn Monroe
> 
> [FUN FACT: Marilyn Monroe’s birth name is Norma Jeane Mortenson.]  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> And there is Ch 12 I hope you liked it!
> 
> Tell me what you think, I encourage comments so please go ahead and share your thoughts! Expect an update soon. (For the next few weeks it will most likely be minimum one chapter a week on the weekend, unless something happens.)  
> \--HAPPY late GAME OF THRONES PREMIERE DAY!--


	13. Not Yet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just reached 10,000 Hits, 100 comments, and 350 Kudos!!!! I love you my readers, thank you so much.
> 
> What’s up guys? Have any suggestions on what should come next? Always open to brainstorming, and if I don’t use your idea now, I may in a different work; Who knows? I never know what I’m going to write until I start writing and then things sort of just happen how they do. BTW I have a horrible memory so if I write something the doesn’t fit with what has happened in past chapters please tell me so I can edit it. (Example: If on Ch 4 I said they’ve been together for three months and on Ch 5 I say a two months)
> 
> Ch Summary: Pure romance chapter, enjoy.  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> MY EMAIL for ANYONE to use for fic-Art (I might post on chapters if given permission) or personal messages/whatever really (Don’t be creepy though): Tayqueendom@Gmail.com  
> \--If anyone creates Clarke’s painting from Ch 1, I don’t even know… I’d probably drop dead.--

**Two and a Half Hours Later**

Clarke is slowly regaining consciousness as she hears high pitched clicking. She groans in pain as she turns over and sees her beautiful goddess girlfriend sitting in bed next to her typing on her computer. Sky meets earth as their eyes met, the earth with a look of concern seeing the sky crinkled in pain. “Do you need another pain pill babe?”, she put her laptop on the nightstand after receiving a smiling shake of the head ‘no’. _“Did she just call me babe? Aww!”_ the half-awake woman thought. Lexa got out of and rounded the bed, “Do you need to go to the bathroom? Are you hungry? Thirsty? Are you sure you don’t need your med-”. Clarke cut off her girlfriend’s adorable rambling by pulling her by the front of her tank top into a searing kiss. Lexa was so caught off guard she almost fell on top of Clarke, she is now Stradling the blonde’s shin and leaning over bracing herself on the headboard to keep all weight off her.

A few excruciatingly pleasant moments pass, and Lexa pulls away, the blonde tries to follow her lips but moans holding her side. She huffs in irritation and plops her head back on the pillow looking down to see the brunette half trying not to laugh, and half with a look of ‘STOP FUCKING MOVING’.

Clarke: (Mumble) “Ugh fine!” (After a beat) I won’t move, come here.”

Lexa: “Clarke, you were in a car accident yesterday.”

Clarke: (Cranky) “SO!?”

Lexa: (Also Cranky) “YOU CAN BARELY MOVE!”

Clarke: “BUT YOU CAN!”

Lexa: “CLARKE!”

Clarke: (Mocking) “LEXA!”

Lexa: (Held in irritation) “Clarke, we can’t. I don’t want to hurt you.”

Clarke (Whining) “Please… Lex I need you.”

The goddess grumbled straining against the need and longing inside her and the reminder of the large bruise she saw this morning. A pitiful please was repeated and all strength to resist was gone. “Ugh! Fiiiine… But you are to be a complete pillow princess, is that understood? No moving or I will stop.”, the seriousness made Clarke begrudgingly nod. Although panties were removed, Lexa decided to not strip her lover of her shirt, she couldn’t do this while the injures were so visible. She readjusts her position to being kneeled between legs instead of straddling a shin. Hovering over, with her hands on the headboard careful to not put her weight on the woman below, they kiss. Even that is gentle and hesitant, much to Clarke’s irritation. The blonde grabs ahold of brown locks and forces the kiss deeper purposefully moaning to hopefully rile up her girlfriend.

It works.

Lexa gives a half growl half moan muffled by connected lips, she pushes her tongue into Clarke’s mouth and explores. Playing with her tongue, licking her inner cheeks and the roof of her mouth, she hears all kinds of glorious noises, she eventually pulls back craving more. She dives in running her opened mouth along Clarke’s jaw then down the side of her neck and up again. Reaching her ear, she nips causing a shiver before whispering “Can I use a toy on you?”. “A toy?” the shivering blonde responded in lustful wonderment. “Mmmm, *Kiss neck* It vibrates *Nip* Less movement for us *Suck* Less chance of you getting hurt *biting earlobe*”. A soft breathy yes is followed by a grown of frustration when Lexa leaves to retrieve said toy.  It’s nothing fancy, a simple six-inch pink soft cylinder with a rounded top that has a shallow button on the base.

Getting back to previous her position, Lexa puts the toy in her mouth to lubricate it even though with the way her lover is looking at her, it probably isn’t necessary. “Ready baby?” to which she receives an impatient nod. Going slow, she pushes the toy in not stopping till her fingertips can just hold the base. “FUCK Lex… keep going.”, and she did. Lexa absolutely loved being able to see her lover’s face the whole time, to which she thought they might do this again even after she is healed. Sliding in and out a few times to the melody of curses and groans, Lexa quickly pulls it out turning on the vibration feature and presses it to her girlfriend’s clit, rubbing circles with it. A shout of her name disturbs the air of heavy breathing. She wipes Clarke’s slick entrance with her fingers before pushing the vibrator back into her using those fingers to play with the now enticed clit. It doesn’t take long after that for Clarke to be panting and falling rigid with a beautiful orgasm.

Going in for a calming kiss, both women sign contently. “You’re turn Lex, come up here. I want to taste you.”. “Clarke your cheek is bruised and there is a gash by your eyebrow, for fucks sake are you trying to give me a heart attack? I’m fine.”. Before Lexa could blink Clarke had her hand in her pants causing her to grunt and struggle to stop herself from letting go of the headboard and falling forward. “Yeah your fine right? Lexa your so wet.”, she then takes her hand back and licks her fingers humming sweetly. “I still got to taste you; you taste divine by the way. Either let me have you or let me watch you. You’re really wound up and those are your only options. Choose.”

She did.

Taking off her pants and underwear, Lexa lays down on her side of the bed, eye never leaving Clarkes’. Using the same toy, she pushes the still slick object in loving the thought of it just being inside her girlfriend. “How does it feel?” came a husky voice. “S-so goo-good, so good! It’s still warm from you.”. Clarke absolutely loved being able to see her lover’s face the whole time, to which she thought they might do this again even after she is healed. She moaned loudly as Lexa let out a high-pitched whine when she turned on the vibrator and pushed it back in. With being so turned on from her activities five minutes prior, it doesn’t take that long at all for Lexa to let out a curse and start shuttering as she came.

Clarke: (In awe) “You are so beautiful.”

Lexa: (Still out of breath) “Well you’re gorgeous so who’s the lucky one?”

Both: “Me.”

After a fit of giggles leads to Clarke grunting in pain, Lexa rolls on her side.

Lexa: “Medicine? *Receives nod and fetches it and a drink* Here babe.”

Clarke: “Thank you. *Takes pill* I love it when you call me babe.”

Lexa: (Amused) “Is that right?”

Clarke: (Not ashamed and grinning) “Abso-fucking-lutly.”

“Well, Babe…”, enunciating it for effect while leaning down to kiss her slowly, “…As you so wonderfully interrupted me earlier, do you need the bathroom? Are you Hungry? Anything you need?”. _‘God I love this woman’_ they were both thinking in that moment. Both being too scared, would never admit it.

Not yet…

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY QUOTE OF THE DAY:  
> “The opposite of war isn’t peace, it’s creation.”  
> -Jonathan Larson (RENT)
> 
> [FUN FACT: (January 5th, 1996) The first ever showing on opening night of the play RENT the playwright (creator), Jonathan Larson, died of a brain aneurysm at the age of 35. RENT became his most famous creation and it went on to win many awards including two Tony awards for ‘Best Book of a Musical’ & ‘Best Original Score’. Larson also won a Pulitzer prize for Drama.]  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> And there is Ch 13 I hope you liked it!
> 
> Tell me what you think, I encourage comments so please go ahead and share your thoughts! Expect an update soon. (For the next few weeks it will most likely be minimum one chapter a week on the weekend, unless something happens.)  
> \--HAPPY Belated GAME OF THRONES DAY! Arya and Gendry, Hell YES! 4/21/19--


	14. My Beautiful Anomaly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY EMAIL: Tayqueendom@Gmail.com  
> For anyone to use for fic-Art or personal messages/whatever really (Don’t be creepy though).
> 
> Alright my lovelies let’s continue the story. As always, I encourage you to share your thoughts and ideas.  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> CHAPTER SUMMARY: Sweetness

Monday rolled around and Clarke was still at Lexa’s house, she was doing better. With her bruises becoming less tender to movement, she could now walk well enough to get to the bathroom by herself. Her next goal was the stairs, she could use them if she needed to, but it was so not worth it, no the stairs still sucked. Her face was now healed to the point where she didn’t need a bandage to cover her eyebrow as it was no longer endanger of infection.

Lexa walks into the room and sees Clarke’s face, it is nervousness and irritation. “What’s wrong babe?” she asked cautiously. “Callie just called she got pulled into an emergency meeting and she can’t pick Madi up from school and Raven isn’t answering her fucking phone.”, the blonde was now staring at the ceiling sitting up in bed. “I’ll pick her up Clarke, it’s no problem relax please.”, Lexa walks to the side of the bed to sit hip to hip with her upset girlfriend. When she hears her name mumbled she cuts off the rest of whatever was coming after, “It’s no problem, really. Now, do you need me to walk or are you comfortable with me driving?”.

Clarke just sat there for a minute and smiled at how utterly amazing her girlfriend is, I mean she hit the fucking jackpot. _‘I love you.’_ She thought as she motioned for her to come closer placing connecting their lips together softly. “I’m ok with you driving, let me get dressed, it’ll take me an hour to get down to the car.”, then she moved to get up. Lexa wanted to object that she didn’t need to get out of bed but thought against it as she didn’t think it was her place and knew it wouldn’t be heeded.

As Lexa saw Clarke getting dressed in some of her clothes, she realized two things. One, wow did her girlfriend fill out her shirts better then she could, everything she owned would look better on her and she loved it. And two, Clarke and Madi were misplaced and that made the smile for realization one turn into a frown. “Clarke do you mind if I pack an overnight bag and stay at your place until you’re better? I think Madi would be happier at home with you instead of you here and her at Callie and Marcus’s.” Looking to azure blue, her girlfriend’s face registers surprise, for a half a second, she had a sick feeling she had just fucked up. “What did I do to deserve you? Or are you my reward for surviving all the shit in my life? Yes, I think Madi would appreciate spending the night in her own bed. Thank you.” _‘I love you’_  The two beauties finish getting ready and hop in one of Lexa’s cars; well Lexa hopped in, Clarke kind of fell and sunk with a grunt.

\-----------------------------------------------------

Arriving at the elementary school they wait for children to come flying out of the double doors. This happens to happen when Raven calls back Clarke so seeing Madi look around for a car that is not here, Lexa decides to get out of the car to get her. She rounds the car and calls out her name, her cute little face registers confusion as she walks skeptically to the car.

Lexa: (Amused) “Have no fear little one your mother is fine, she’s in the car on the phone with Raven.”

Madi: (Still hesitant) “Really?”

Clarke: (Excitedly) *Opens passenger door* “Hey my love! *Turns sideways in seat* God I’ve missed you so much! Come give…*Grunts in pain as child squishes her* …mommy a hug.”

Madi: (Muffled by hug) “I’ve missed you momma. Are we finally going home?”

Clarke: “Yup, it was Lexa’s suggestion. Do you mind if she stays with us for a few days till mommy is better?”

Madi: (Still muffled) “No. No, I don’t mind.”

When the mother and daughter finally break away Clarke tries to get up to help Madi in the back seat, but the forceful hug has irritated her side and she is wincing in pain. Lexa stops her, tells her to sit back down and that she can do it. Clarke sits there and hears “Shit!” then she hears “That’s the third dollar, you got two left in credit.”. While she’s smiling, she hears Lexa mumble under her breath “Yeah yeah.”, that makes her grin bigger. A minute or two later Lexa hops into the driver’s seat and she hears Madi giggle and say, “Well this is different.”. Clarke uses the rearview mirror to see her daughter and busts out laughing. She sees her little girl in the middle seat with the right seat seatbelt plugged to her left and the left seat seatbelt plugged to her right, the two belts forming a large ‘X’ over her child’s sternum. Looking over Lexa is looking back over her shoulder speaking to her daughter, “Sorry little warrior, it’s just until I can get one of those booster seat things.”. Clarke stops laughing and lets the importance of what was just said wash over her, she is shocked.

_‘She just keeps getting better and, better doesn’t she? She takes care of me and treats me better than anyone ever has since dad. She and Madi seem to already have some sort of thing with each other. Seriously universe, gods in heaven, what did I do to deserve such a magnificent creature? She my very own unicorn, my griffin, my dragon, my phoenix. I never thought someone like her existed, hell, they don’t. She is my beautiful anomaly…’_

With out even thinking Clarke’s hand sweeps behind her girlfriend’s head and she pulls her across the center console into a tender kiss of thankfulness. When they both break away, she caresses Lexa’s cheeks and sees that she is flushed with nervous embarrassment and Clarke has to fight to remember why. When she does, she looks into the rearview again and sees her smiling daughter. Without showing her surprise she gives her a small smile and looks out the passenger side window as her girlfriend drives off into traffic. _‘I love her’_

Pulling into Clarke’s driveway the trio exit the car and walk up to the door. The mother unlocks the door and her child runs in leaving the couple to walk in hand and hand with faint smiles on their lips.

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY QUOTE OF THE DAY:  
> “There is a tide in the affairs of [people], Which taken at the flood, leads on to fortune. Omitted, all the voyage of their life is bound in shallows and in miseries. On such a full sea are we now afloat. And we must take the current when it serves, or lose our ventures.”  
> -William Shakespeare
> 
> [FUN FACT: Shakespeare was a bisexual. “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?”]  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> And there is Ch 14 I hope you liked it!
> 
> Tell me what you think, I encourage comments so please go ahead and share your thoughts! 
> 
> \--HAPPY BATTLE OF WINTERFELL DAY! May our favorites survive. 4/28/19--


	15. Three Musketeers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY EMAIL: Tayqueendom@Gmail.com   
> For anyone to use for fic-Art or personal messages/whatever really (Don’t be creepy though).
> 
> Alright my lovelies let’s continue the story. As always, I encourage you to share your thoughts and ideas.  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> CHAPTER SUMMARY: An immediate continuance from last chapter. The three characters spend the day together in domestic tranquility… and awkwardness.

Pulling into Clarke’s driveway the Trio exit the car and walk up to the door. The mother unlocks the door and her child runs in leaving the couple to walk in hand and hand with faint smiles on their lips.

Clarke(C): (Yelling from the living room) “Do you have any homework love?”

Madi(M): (Yelling from her bedroom) “Yes momma, doing it now! Can we watch a movie after dinner?”

C: (Quiet) “What do you think lex?”

Lexa(L): (Equally quiet) “I don’t care babe, that’s fine.”

C: (Yelling again) “Yes love we’ll watch a movie after dinner! How does Lasagna sound?”

M: (Still yelling) “Kay!”

Lexa and Clarke walk to the couch and as the goddess sits down with her back to the arm rest holding her arms open, the blonde doesn’t move to follow. She holds her index finger up and says “Hold that thought beautiful, I need to take a pain pill… I’ll be right back.” and walks to the kitchen. After getting a glass of water and taking her medication, she goes back in the living room and sits in her spot between her girlfriend’s legs. Her back is flush against perky breasts and she stretches her legs out across to remainder of the couch. “This is nice.” comes a silky and slightly husky voice from behind before she feels a smile press to the back of her neck and arms come around to gently hold her. _‘I love her’_

A half hour later Madi comes out of her room to see her mom and Lexa cuddled on the couch, she finds it weird, it’s something new to her eyes. Her mom is content and safe and happy, never have all three characteristics simultaneously been seen in her mom’s eyes. Rarely, has the second item ever been seen if ever it has been, but here she is; content and safe and happy. It is new and she likes it. She is deciding whether to join mommy on the couch or not, when green eyes find her standing awkwardly and staring at the two of them. Lexa’s mouth moves and momma looks her way too, “My love, are you done with your homework?”. After nodding, momma looks at the clock, moves off the couch, and on the way to the kitchen kisses her on her the top of her head and says she’ll put the lasagna in the oven. Madi stands there for  moment and then decides to sit on the couch with Lexa. The older woman hands her the remote and says, “All yours little warrior.”, before switching to a normal siting position.

Clarke goes into the kitchen takes a ready-made frozen lasagna out at pops it into the oven. When she turns back, she sees her girlfriend handing her daughter the remote and calling her by a cute nickname, its heartwarming so she just waits there staring for a bit before going back in; savoring the moment.

Lexa doesn’t know what to do. When she saw Madi standing there mute, she looked conflicted? Or maybe scared? Definitely hesitant. _‘Am I making her uncomfortable? Damn it, you just invited yourself into the house without so much as a discussion to the little one, you’re so fucking selfish.’_ Then the girl comes and sits down on the couch and it is even more awkward, so she decides to give the little one some control of the situation and has her choose what they watch.

\-----------------------------------------------------

At the dinner table the awkwardness continues, at least from Lexa. She is mostly quiet during it and Clarke keeps bringing her in, well she tries to anyway. _‘What the fuck is her problem? She’s the one who suggested this, why did she have to get cold feet now? When did this even start? She was fine at the school, fine at the…’_

M: “I have my football game on Saturday momma, you’re gonna be there right?”

C: “Mhmm, wouldn’t miss it for the world. Can’t wait to see you… make a basket. What time is it again?

M: “It’s get a touchdown momma, you were thinking of basketball. It’s at one.”

C: “Right… Yes, I will be there. Lexa, Madi plays football isn’t that great?” _‘For fucks sake contribute something to this fucking conversation’_

L: “That is great, I bet you’re a great player, because obviously you are… a little warrior. Everyone else better think twice before messing with you.”

After a quick giggle feast…

M: “Do you want to come and watch me play?”

After a moment of awkward silence…

L: “Uh sure. Hold on.”

Lexa gets up a leaves the table. Madi feels like she ruined her momma’s happy day, _‘She doesn’t want you. She doesn’t like you. Just let her be with momma and stop…’_ Lexa came back into the room and says, “Alright, my assistant put it in my calendar. Saturday at 1 O’clock, I will be there with bells on.”. Madi Smiles big and everyone relaxes a bit, the atmosphere settles down and Clarke teases her girlfriend, “‘With bells on’… Your age is showing _babe_.”. The not that older woman just sticks out her tongue out at the blonde and everyone laughs.

\-----------------------------------------------------

The movie chosen was Mulan, Madi’s favorite movie, which fits. She must have watched it a million times because she fell asleep three quarters of the way through. Clarke turned off the movie when Mulan was saving her future husbands life during the battle with the Huns. And Lexa sees sadness with a hint of frustration in her eyes and asks what’s wrong. “I just don’t want to wake her up but can’t carry her to her bed. My fucking ribs… I don’t like not being able to do things. It drives me up a fucking wall”. Lexa nods and stands and asks if she can do it and promises to be gentle. After being given permission, Lexa picks Madi up cradling her head to her shoulder and walks with her girlfriend to the child’s room.

She lays the girl down and pulls the covers over the small body. When she feels the urge to kiss the girl on her forehead, she is surprised at herself and grows uncomfortable. Stepping away, she switches places with Clarke at the doorway while the mother goes to do exactly what she wanted to do but couldn’t. Hearing the whisper of love and the nighty nights, Lexa goes into the master bedroom with the feeling of being an intruder in her mind, a little later the blonde follows. They both lay down and mindlessly watch TV waiting for time to get a little higher in number.

After a while they get into the sleeping position, this time with Lexa as the little spoon. Kisses are felt on her neck and her earlobe is nibbled on causing her to moan softly and wiggle closer to her girlfriend. A sensual voice is heard, “Have I ever told you how absolutely sexy your tattoos are?”. It’s like a bucket of ice was dropped on her head and her eyes fly open as she freezes. Clarke doesn’t seem to notice and lifts up the back on her night shirt. “Like this one here, so sexy.”, her fingertips do not have the same shivering effect it usually does. The black tattoo follows along dark-haired woman’s spine and is a geometric design of lines and circles. There are five circles, one is filled completely in and the other four are simply outlined. “What does it mean?” her lover asks while kisses have turned to sucking and the grazing of teeth.

Lexa responds quietly with “Each represent a member of my family.”, then the dreaded question flies out, “Who does the filled in one represent?”. In a small voice that causes the air to be sucked out of the room, “She was my wife, she died.”. Clarke stops her ministrations and the room falls as quiet as a graveyard. [Author: Pun was a complete accident, just realized it]

C: “Costia?”

L: “Yes… Wait how did you know that?”

C: “Madi heard you yell her name the other night while you were having your nightmare.”

L: “Sorry.”

C: “Don’t be sorry babe. I’m sorry for your loss. *After a minute* How did she die?”

L: “Cancer, she was… twenty-four and I was a year younger.”

C: “Damn. *Kiss* I’m sorry *Kiss* my l-babe. *Kiss* Let’s try to get some rest huh?” *Kiss and return to cuddling*

\-----------------------------------------------------

_‘BEEP…BEEP… White wall are so fucking depressing, why is everything so fucking blank, this is where people come to die?! BEEP…BEEP… Would it kill them to brighten up the place? To have people’s last sight be of emptiness is double depressing. But look at her beauty, oh if only we had forever. BEEP…BEEP… “Clarke, I love you please don’t stop fighting, we belong to each other.”. BEEP…BEEP… “We were supposed to have babies and grow old together.”. I hate this place! BEEP…BEEP…  Everything is so plan and everyone is so calm, like nothing important is happening. Oh, this person has a screwdriver sticking out of his neck, oh this person is… BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP. “Clarke! Clarke! PLEASE! NO!!!!”’_

C: “Lex. *Shaking her by shoulder* Lex. *Caressing face* Baby, I’m right here. *Kisses lips* Lexa baby open your eyes.”

L: (Panting) “Clarke? You’re ok… Thank god!”

The two women’s vice gripped hug is broken up by a child’s scared voice. “Are-are you ok Lexa?”

L: “Uh *Clears throat and rubs face* Yes, sorry Madi.”

M: “Can I sleep in here?”

As Clarke was about to scoot closer to Lexa and open the covers to her side, Lexa answers her daughter’s question. “Yes, little one come on up.”, and she pats the middle of the bed. The rest of the night is spent with Lexa on her back, Madi at her side and Clarke laying on her side with her arm across both of her girls. _‘I love her’_

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY QUOTE OF THE DAY:  
> “The flower that blooms in adversity... is the most rare and beautiful of them all.”  
> -Mulan
> 
> [FUN FACT: The fake name Mulan uses, “Fa Ping”, is a clever Chinese pun, it is slang for ‘female eye-candy’; and Chi Fu’s name means “To bully”.]  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> And there is Ch 15 I hope you liked it!
> 
> Tell me what you think, I love comments so please go ahead and share your thoughts! For the next month there is a possibility of more quantity of updates. Soooo… We shall see.
> 
> \--HAPPY (Kind of and very belated) GAME OF THRONES DAY! How the fuck did they forget a coffee to-go cup was on screen? It was a disappointing as a whole episode was it not? 5/5/19--


	16. The Telling of Feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY EMAIL: Tayqueendom@Gmail.com  
> For anyone to use for fic-Art or personal messages/whatever really (Don’t be creepy though).
> 
> Alright my lovelies let’s continue the story. As always, I encourage you to share your thoughts and ideas.  
> \--HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO EVEY MOTHER READER! You are the most special type of person.--  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> CHAPTER SUMMARY: Our couple is the best.  
> \--Post your own summery in the comments or email, I had a brain freeze. I might edit in the best one.--

**The Next Morning**

A phone rings irritatingly loud, it is Lexa’s phone and Clarke didn’t realize that before answering. A groggy “Hello” is replied with an amused Anya “Well this makes a lot of sense, woooaaah, Deja vu! Hey blondie can you put little Lexi on the phone, I need to stomp a mud hole in her ass and walk it dry.”. Clarke looked over to see Lexa opening her eyes and staring back at here, the instant smile that came across the brunette’s face made her forget what she was doing for a moment.

Anya(A):“Umm… Blondie?”

C: (Dazed) “Hmm?”

A: (Annoyed) “Can I talk to my little sister please?”

C: “Oh, right…” (In background) “Babe, your sister needs to be pissed at you, so take it to the living room while she yells.”

L: (In background) “*Groans* Yeah yeah…” (On the line) “What can I do for you An?”

A: (Still very annoyed)“When are you coming back to the office? You’ve been AWOL for the last few days.”

L: “Yes, but I have been working from home. I’m not behind, so what’s the issue?”

A: (Now Angry) “THE ISSUE? The issue is that our investors and partners and project workers have and absente company owner. Face to face meetings are a necessary part of the job! Or have you forgotten that while you are off playing house with blondie and mommy to her kid? She must be good in bed.”

L: (Also Angry) “WOAH! DON’T EVER talk about Clarke or Madi like that again! You will not like what happens next! I’m warning you An, WATCH IT!”

A: (Let’s out a long breath) “Hey, I’m sorry alright… You know I hate doing all these meeting alone, they all are disappointed that I’m not you and treat me like I don’t know anything. I’m just… I need you to do your job. Can you come in soon?”

L: (Letting guilt calm her tone) “Mmm, *Looks at clock* I can in two or three hours, wow did you go in early. Um, after I take Madi to school I’ll be in alright? No solo meetings for you today.”

A: “Alright then… See ya in a few.”

L: “Bye.”

A: “Bye.”

Phone Call ends

\-----------------------------------------------------

Walking back to the bedroom standing in the doorway, Madi walks up and says “Good morning Lexa” in a cute groggy voice, to which she responds in kind. The girl walks past her down the hall and she looks to the bed to see her girlfriend supine staring at the ceiling. “Madi is going to take a bath, I need to get breakfast going.”, but the blonde doesn’t attempt to get up. The goddess crosses the floor and slowly crawls up the bed and on top of the woman. A kiss is placed on a sheet covered shin, a sheet covered thy, a bare tummy, a shirt covered breast, a bare collarbone and finally on soft lightly chapped lips. “Good morning. How is your pain today? Do you need any medicine?”, to which a pleasurable hum was replied.

L: “Clarke?”

C: “Yes?”

L: “How *Kiss* do you *Kiss* feel *Kiss* this morning?” (Pulls away)

C: (Speaking while trying to chase lips) “Wonderful… *Realizes she failed to recapture lips and plops back on pillow in a huff* Come back.”

L: (Slightly amused) “Come on babe, let’s get up. *Pulls Clarke off the bed* We got stuff to do today.”

They have one last kiss before walking into the kitchen. “Seriously babe do you need anything for your ribs or eyebrow?” Lexa asks as she crouches down to take out a skillet while Clarke turns on the burner and gets a carton of eggs out of the fridge.

C: “No, I’m feeling better. In fact, I flushed the rest of my meds down the toilet last night.”

L: (Concerned) “What? Why did you do that for? You could have kept them for emergencies.”

C: (Irritated)“If it’s an _emergency_ I’ll go to the _emergency_ room Lex. We don’t need to have that shit on hand.”

L: (Taken aback) “Clarke wh-”

C: (Angry) “NO LEXA! I don-”

M: (Calling from the bathroom) “I’m ready momma!”

C: (Breaths deep in and out) “I uh, I need to help Madi wash her hair… I’ll be right back”

Lexa only nods and finishes making ten sunny side up eggs, four of which were already done, and starts toasting and buttering 3 pairs of bread. She only gets one pair done before Clarke come back into the room with a damp spot on her shirt near her bellybutton. She pushes the brunette out of the way with her hip and finishes up the butter toast.

C: (Guilt ridden) “I’m sorry I snapped at you. It’s just that my-. I just have a thing with drugs, ok?”

L: (Whispered) “Do you have… Have you had an addiction problem?”

C: (Surprised) “What? No… No, nothing like that… I just don’t like them in my house than absolutely necessary.”

She walks up to Lexa and wraps her hands around her neck playing with dark baby hair while hands find her hips. “I’m sorry I snapped at you, it’s an important thing to me. I overreacted, forgive me?” said in a half-pleading half-trying to be cute way. Lexa just answers first with a kiss and then with “It’s fine. I don’t like seeing you in pain so I didn’t like you throwing something away that you may need. If it gets to be to much for you, you call me ok? I’m serious!”.

C: “You have to go back to the office, don’t you?”

L: (Huffed out) “Yeah…”

C: (Amused) “Come on Ms. Big Shot CEO, you like your work remember?”

L: “Yeah but I like you more.”

Clarke’s heart melted into a golden puddle in that moment. But then…

M: “Umm… Breakfast done? I’m hungry.”

Clarke reigns in her lust and love and decides on a simple quick peck on her girlfriend’s lips before turning to her little girl. Pointing to a plate on the bar counter, “Right there my love, how’d you sleep?”

M: (After climbing onto a bar stool) “Fine. Are you ok Lexa?”

Lexa walks over to the counter and faces the girl, “Yes, It’s my normal little one. It may seem horrible and maybe it is in the moment, but when it passes. I’m fine and go back to sleep.”. Clarke didn’t like this at all, Lexa was not only not trying to help herself, she was seemingly ok with her mental torture. This would not due at all.

\-----------------------------------------------------

The trio piled into the car and Lexa drove to the elementary school. Lexa and Clarke held each other’s hand over the stick shift the entire drive. Slowing down to a stop in the drop of area Madi unbuckled her ‘X’ of protection and leaned in between the two front seats. “Have a good day my love.”, the mother and daughter share a kiss goodbye. “Yeah have a good day, don’t crush any of your minions’ little warrior.”, an awkward fist bump happened then, and Clarke found it hard not to laugh. Madi left the car and the two watched the little girl skip to the entrance and get in a group with three other children.

“You are too fucking cute, you know that?” Clarke looks over to see those emerald gems focusing on her. “Yeah I know, but what did I do?” comes a confident flirty reply. Clarke puts a hand behind the goddess’s neck and looks at her lovingly. “You are just… you. You are beautiful, no scratch that, sexy beyond belief. You are kind, thoughtful, affectionate, and you are so good with my daughter… You’re like my own personal unicorn. I can’t believe you exist half the time.”. _‘I love you’_ she says in the safety of her mind.

“Clarke, you are one of the two most beautiful women (Costia & Clarke) I have ever seen. You are sweet, kind, adorable, sexy as hell, an amazing mother, and a talented artist. You see such light in the darkness whither you are conscious to it or not. You are a fighter and your daughter is a little warrior. I am incredibly lucky Anya decided to force me to come with her to the auction that night, I found one of the wonders of the world. I am forever grateful you picked me for your one-night stand.” _‘I love you’_ she says in the safety of her mind.

The two laughs at themselves. “Is it still considered a one-night stand if you have sex with each other afterwards?”, Lexa just shrugs and drives into traffic.

\-----------------------------------------------------

Arriving back to Clarke’s house, Lexa grabs a spare suit from her trunk before the couple go inside. Going immediately to the bathroom the two strip in preparation for a shower. “It looks much better.” the brunette states as she ghosts her fingertips over the large fading bruise. “This does too.”, fingers now over the scarred eyebrow. A hurt and whispered voice comes out, “I can’t believe I almost lost you.”. Clarke sees the pain in her eyes, memories of last night’s conversation about her late wife entering her mind. The blonde grabs ahold of her girlfriend’s face with both of her hands. “Hey, I am not going anywhere. Ok? I promise.”. Lexa nods solemnly and holds out a hand for Clarke to help her step into the tub before following her in and turning on the shower head.

They stand there facing each other embracing when Lexa caresses Clarke’s cheek then wipes wet hair from her face. She kisses her scarred eyebrow, followed by dropping to her knees to kiss her injured side, lingering for a moment at each. She sees that little scar she kissed their first night together and can’t stop herself from kissing that too. When her lips touch, Clarke grips her hair tightly with a gasp. Lexa sees Clarke’s half-pleasure half-pained face again and decides to stand back up and connect their lips. They wash one another’s bodies and hair with minimal delightful distractions.

In the bedroom they get dressed when Lexa decides to ask a question that’s been on her mind since that first night.

L: “That little scar below your bellybutton… Does that hurt you, when I kiss you there?”

C: “No, why would you say that?”

L: “That first night you seemed like I had crossed a line and in the shower you seemed a little pained.”

C: “It’s… my… C-section scar. That night I just wanted a quick fuck and you were so tender and lo- affectionate. When you kiss me there it feels almost... too much? I can’t explain it.”

L: “Do you want me to stop doing it?”

C: (After a moment of thought) “No. *Looks at the clock* You have to go babe; you can’t be late or Anya will kill you. We’ll talk about this later; I’ll try to explain it better.”

Lexa agrees and after a quick kiss turned short make-out, Lexa goes to work.

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY QUOTE OF THE DAY:  
> “You know, there's one place that all the people with the greatest potential are gathered. One place. And that's the graveyard. People ask me all the time: 'What kind of stories do you want to tell Viola?' And I say exhume those bodies. Exhume those stories. The stories of the people who dreamed big, and never saw those dreams to fruition. People who fell in love and lost. I became an artist and thank god I did because we are the only profession that celebrates what it means to live a life.”  
> -Viola Davis
> 
> [FUN FACT: People who jog regularly are more likely to find a dead body than anyone else in the world.]  
> \--Well I’m fucking morbid huh? Sorry not sorry…--  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> And there is Ch 16 I hope you liked it!
> 
> Tell me what you think, I love comments so please go ahead and share your thoughts! For the next month there is a possibility of more quantity of updates. Soooo… We shall see.  
> \--HAPPY GAME OF THRONES DAY! Hopefully… Will Cersei be killed on Mother’s Day? I hope not, I love Cersei. BTW my theory on how it will end is every one of the throne players will be dead besides the winner if there is one. “When you play the game of thrones you win or you die, there is no middle ground”.—  
> \--If anyone got the wrestling reference tell me in the comments, you get extra points.--


	17. Trio Date: Part I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY EMAIL: Tayqueendom@Gmail.com  
> For anyone to use for fic-Art or personal messages/whatever really (Don’t be creepy though).
> 
> Alright my lovelies let’s continue the story. As always, I encourage you to share your thoughts and ideas.  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> CHAPTER SUMMARY: Lexa is a cinnamon roll and Clarke is there for it.

\-- I have a huge appreciation for fic writers who write 5,000 worded chapters and a fear for people who write 10,000+ worded chapters. I’m a sprinter not a runner. Not to fear I have big plans that I’ve had from the beginning that will hopefully be meaty and make you feel things. So possibly long chapters coming your way soon????--

 

 

The ‘stay for a few days’ turned into ‘staying for that one night’ because Clarke was feeling much better. Lexa went home after work on Tuesday and the couple went back to normal boundaries before the car accident occurred. Luckily, Lexa was previously invited to Madi’s football game, so she had an in to spend time with the mother/daughter combo. She didn’t need the reminder from her assistant that Saturday morning, she was nervous and excited. Nervous because this is the first time, she would be doing something with the two of them outside of the confines of the house or Clarke being out of commission, it was new. But she was excited because this is the first time, she would be doing something with the two of them outside of the confines of the house or Clarke being out of commission, and that meant progress. It meant a step forward for Clarke and her, and Clarke’s trust with being involved with her daughter.

Goddess: Is it still ok for me to come to  
Madi’s game later today?

Clarke: Yes Lex… You still want to come right

Goddess: Absolutely I must be there with  
bells on remember?

Clarke: LOL yes old lady…

Goddess: :p I’m only four years older than you! Do  
you and Madi need a ride?

Clarke: Shit!! Yes thank you. Completely slipped my mind. Jk Marcus was my ride but... If you want. Thank you  
My car is totaled, need to get a new one

Goddess: It’s no problem. Pick you up at…?

Clarke: 12 please

Goddess: Got it.

Clarke: You need to change my name on here…

Goddess: To what?

Clarke: Anything… Clarke is boring my goddess

Goddess: Better?

Girlfriend: We’ll work on it… ;)

Girlfriend: See ya later

SexiLexi: Oh God no…

Girlfriend: Lol what?

SexiLexi: Clarke…

Goddess: Thank you.

Goddess: See you later Clarke.

Girlfriend: :*

\-----------------------------------------------------

At 11:30am Lexa arrives at the Griffin house and rings the doorbell, a minute later Madi opens the door and grabs her hand, pulling her inside. The two ended up in the kitchen, “Momma said you’d be early.”. “I was right. *Sticks tongue at daughter* Though no bells… I’m disappointed you lied to my daughter Alexandria Becca Woods.”, said with comical eyes. Lexa just dramatically gasps and says in fake offence, “One, did you just full name me? And Two, I would never!”. The goddess turns around and showcases the back of her shirt which has a picture of Christmas bells on it.

She turns back around to the two laughing people and in her best ‘I’m not crying, your crying’ voice, “Now I demand an apology for thinking less of me.”. Clarke crosses the kitchen trying to keep a straight face and grabs Lexa’s face with both hands, “I’m sorry for underestimating your dorkiness. *Soft kiss* Will you forgive me?”. Lexa looks deeply into Clarke’s eyes and drops the roleplaying, “Always.”. Clarke is momentarily caught off guard and the two stands in the kitchen staring at one another with no space between them and time freezes. The blonde leans in and connects their lips for an intensity and duration that was a complete accident seeing as how Madi was also in the room. Lexa was the one to pull away and look at the little girl, she was just looking upon the couple with a small smile. _‘Well I guess that’s a good sign… Right?’_

C: “Madi finish getting ready, we’ll leave in ten ok my love?”

M: “Kay-Kay Momma.”

When the girl exits the room, Clarke lowers her hands to grab hips and slowly walks her girlfriend backwards till the top of the woman’s butt hits the edge of the countertop. Nuzzling her neck pressing randomly placed kisses once and a while, the blonde simply states “You are too sexy sometimes. I love your dorkiness by the way.”. _‘And I love you’_ Lexa thinks, but instead of putting that into words, she pulls Clarke’s face up and caresses her cheek before bringing her in resuming the kiss that took place moments prior.

The trio finally make their way to the car, while Lexa puts the cooler and Madi’s backpack in the trunk, Clarke helps her daughter into the backseat. The mother opens the car door and sees a booster seat in the center-seat. A smile comes to her face so big; she doesn’t need much face paint to look like the joker. Strapping in her little girl Clarke closes the door and looks at the brunette who is leaning against the car nervously. “Is it the right kind and size?” she says with a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. The blonde walks up to the taller woman and wraps her arms around her sternum hugging away the nervousness, or at least tries to.

C: (Sincerely) “It’s actually perfect babe.”

L: “Really? *Clarke nods* Thank God! I asked my mom about it and went online. There are so many types of child seats and then the sizes all blend together for all age ranges… I was trying to get the correct size for her height from memory, you know to surprise you, bu-”

(Interrupted by a heated kiss lasting few seconds)

L: “You know she will outgrow it in just a couple of months! Kids supposedly outgrow kid seats really really fast. We should donate them as we-”

C: “LEX! Breathe… Stop talking. Madi can’t be late to the game and right now you’re making me want to rip your clothes off so *Kiss* please *Kiss* shut it and get in the car.” *Kiss and walks away hopping into the passenger seat*

 Lexa got into the driver’s seat and tried to relax. She looked into the rearview mirror and asked, “Is it comfortable little one?” to which she receives a nod with a small smile. Lexa nodded herself and backed out of the driveway.

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY QUOTE OF THE DAY:  
> “Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.”  
> \- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
> 
> [FUN FACT: Couples at the very beginning of a romantic relationship will be very different a year later. It is estimated that romantic love, which is linked with euphoria, dependence, sweaty palms, butterflies and alike, only lasts about a year. After that first year begins the so-called “committed love” stage. The transition is linked with elevated neurotrophin protein levels in newly formed couples.]  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> And there is Ch 17 I hope you liked it!
> 
> Tell me what you think, I love comments so please go ahead and share your thoughts! For the next month there is a possibility of more quantity of updates. Soooo… We shall see.  
> 5/15/2019


	18. Trio Date: Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY EMAIL: Tayqueendom@Gmail.com  
> For anyone to use for fic-Art or personal messages/whatever really (Don’t be creepy though).
> 
> Alright my lovelies let’s continue the story. As always, I encourage you to share your thoughts and ideas.  
> / L: Lexa / C: Clarke / M: Madi /  
> / R: Raven / A: Anya / O: Octavia /  
> / Mc: Marcus / Ca: Callie /  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> CHAPTER SUMMARY: A continuance of last chapter; Madi’s football game and what comes after.

The three lovely people get to the designated neighborhood football field, well the parking lot next to the field. Lexa goes to the trunk to retrieve the items she placed there, and Clarke helps Madi out of her new booster seat. Right when the car door and trunk are closed, they all are swarmed with people. Marcus and Callie are there to cheer on their granddaughter. Raven and a raven-haired beauty named Octavia are there to root for their best friend’s daughter; but they say niece. And much to Lexa’s shock Anya is there also too, to- because- why?

Marcus(Mc): (Excitedly) How is my granddaughter doing? Gonna lead your team to victory?”

M: (Confidently) “You know it Gramps!”

C: (Amused) “Hey! You are here to have fun ok? Whither you win or lose we are still going to have a fun day and celebrate sporting out afterwards. Got it?”

M: (Cocky) “Yeah sure… *Looks to Lexa* I’m a warrior, I’m gonna destroy em!”

Lexa tries not to laugh, and Clarke looks at them with a face of accusation, “What have you done to my daughter? My sweet little girl is now a killer… Look what you did!”. At that Lexa couldn’t hold back her laugh any longer and after the whole group stops laughing (Minus Clarke, though she wants to), she kisses the blonde’s temple and whispers in her ear “I’m sorry babe, but she _is_ a pequeño guerrero [Little Warrior] just like her mother.”, and presses another temple kiss. Clarke just rolls her eyes and mumbles “Smooth talker.” and jabs her elbow lightly in the brunette’s ribs.

The mother/daughter combo left the group and went to the field while the rest went to the bleachers to find their seats.

L: (Whispering) “What are you doing here An?”

A: “I am spending time with my fiancé, she wants to watch her niece play, so *Spreads hands out to indicate field* here I am.”

L: (After a short heart attack yells) “WHAT THE FUCK!!” *Looks around at all the dirty looks and mouths ‘sorry’* (Whispers, well tries to) “You’re engaged!?!”

A: (Barely contained excitement) *Smiles wide and pops the ‘p’* “Yuuuuuuuup.”

L: (Dumbfounded) “Wow… I can’t believe it…”

C: (Finally sits next to Lexa) “What can’t we believe?”

L: *Quick Kiss* “It seems my sister and your best friend are engaged to be wed.”

Clarke’s mouth drops open and her eyes jump to the best friend in question who is staring back at her with a smirk as she picks up her hand to show off an elegant ring. The blonde breathes out “Holy shit.” and nearly climbs on top of both Anya and Lexa to hold Raven in a bearhug. When the hug is over the blonde pushes backward using Raven’s knee and Anya’ to get back into her seat, her side is a little irritated, but she keeps it hidden knowing her girlfriend would be overly concerned for her.

A: (Amused) “Yuuup, your best friend is marrying the devil Clarke.”

Raven(R): “You are only on roleplaying night An.”

C&L: “Raven!”

C: (To Anya) “My sister from another mister is in love, and I’m happy for her.” (To Raven) “I mean it.” (The two mouth ‘I love you’ and everyone focuses on the game)

\-----------------------------------------------------

The group of Madi fans look down to see the girl gearing up. She is wearing black leggings with a lightly padded butt and knees, an adorable leaf green jersey that says ‘Griffin’ across the shoulder blades in white letters, and a flag belt. The flag belt is a black coarsely ribbed belt with rectangle red flags placed every inch or so and a yellow teethed end clip to hold the belt on. She also has her hair up in the most adorable little bun; Clarke didn’t mean to brag, but her daughter was the cutest kid out there, totally not biased.

There are twelve children in play, six for each team on either half of the field. Red flags for the home team and yellow flags for the away team. The quarterback on Madi’s team yells in a cute high-pitched little boy’s voice “ONE, TWO, HIKE!”, or that’s what our group assumes he said; kids don’t really annunciate that well now do they? Then they are off like ants running away from a nest disturbance. [Author: How many times can you say adorable in describing a peewee flag football game?]

A: “You know if we made this a drinking game for every time a kid fell down… We’d be drunk already. It’s like fish out of wa- there’s another, my liver hurts just from the thou- and another. Yeah we’d die. OW! What was that for?”

R: “Shut it and watch my niece play.”

A: (Dramatic) “Yes dear.” (To Lexa) “She’s already my ball and chain. OW! Damn it Ray!”

R: “Keep going and you won’t get any tonight.”

A: (Serious) “That’ll do it.” (Looks forward and pays attention)

Madi catches the ball and runs into the end zone, the whole group jumps up and shouts the following: (With lots of clapping and some jumping up and down)

C: “That’s my baby! Right there, that one is mine!”

L: “Yes! Little Warrior!”

Ca: “Baby girl!

R & O: “That’s my girl!”

A & Mc: “Madi!”

Clarke was one of the people jumping up and down, but she stopped after a few seconds with the pain in her side growing. She again hid it in favor of not ruining the day. After the hour game was over (Thirty-minute halves, red team won Woohoo), Clarke and Lexa stayed behind to wait for Madi while the others went out to the parking lot. The MVP ran up to her mother full speed and smacked her with a hug. The mother was ecstatic, but her ribs were not, the child’s head slammed right into the irritated area. Clarke tried her best to calm her face, but she may have winced slightly. Going back to the parking lot, the group of eight decided to go get celebratory ice cream; which Madi thought was awesome because she was ruining her dinner.

\-----------------------------------------------------

The group are seated outside an ice cream parlor at a picnic table Marcus, Callie, and raven sitting on Anya’s lap on one side, and Octavia, Lexa, and Madi sitting on Clarke’s lap on the other.

Octavia(O): “You killed it beautiful!”

C: “My baby is genetically superior, just saying.” (Kisses all over Madi’s face and bear hugged)

L: “What did I say? Pequeño guerrero [Little Warrior] just like her mother.”

M: “Best day ever!”

When all the ice cream is eaten the newly engaged couple and Octavia leave. Madi is leaving to have a sleepover with her grandparents like she usually does on Saturday nights. Clarke says ‘fuck you’ to her half-healed injury and picks up her daughter in an embrace they share nearly every Saturday night; her ribs said ‘fuck you’ right back. When only our favorite couple is left in the parlor parking lot, Clarke goes to get into the passenger seat when Lexa stops her and pulls her by the hand to the back of the car. “What are we doing?” she asks, to which she receives a ‘stop talking’ face. The brunette opens the trunk and looks into the half empty cooler, seemingly satisfied with what she sees, she takes off her shirt. “Lex! What the fuck are you doing it’s still daylight out!?!”. Not caring that she is now in nothing but a bra from the waist up, Lexa digs into the cooler and starts piling left over ice into the shirt.

She again grabs her girlfriend’s hand after closing the trunk and walks her to the passenger side door. Instead of moving to let Clarke sit down she put the makeshift ice pack on the seat and grabs the side lever with one hand and pushes the head rest with the other. Now with the seat being more horizontal like a bed she picks up the ice pack and tells Clarke to lay down on her uninjured side. Once the blonde is laying down, Lexa lifts up her shirt plants a gentle kiss there and places the wet and cold ice filled shirt on the affected area. They drive for the first half of the ride in silence.

C: “I’m sorry.”

L: (Irritation) *Shakes her head* “Next time give me your medicine when you think you're done with them, I’ll keep the damn things away from you. Just don’t flush them _ever_ again.”

C: (Quietly & sad) “Fine.”

L: “Promise?”

C: “Yeah…”

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY QUOTE OF THE DAY:  
> “You deserve a lover who makes you feel safe, who can consume this world whole if [they walk] hand in hand with you; someone who believes that [their] embraces are a perfect match with your skin.”  
> \- Frida Kahlo
> 
> [FUN FACT: In 1953, the year before she died, Frida Kahlo got what she had always wanted: a solo show in Mexico. But her doctors had given her very strict orders that she was not to leave her bed (her injuries from her bus crash discussed in this fic). So, in typical Frida rebelliousness and flare, she showed up to the gallery in her four-poster bed escorted by police.]  
> \--Love me some Frida Kahlo if you haven’t guessed.--  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> And there is Ch 18 I hope you liked it!
> 
> Tell me what you think, I love comments so please go ahead and share your thoughts! For the next month there is a possibility of more quantity of updates. Soooo… We shall see.
> 
> \--I know very few Spanish words! I am a wrestling fan, so I just happened to know the word for ‘warrior’. Don’t expect sexy Spanish speaking Lexa; she’ll just be regular sexilexi.--
> 
> 5/17/2019


	19. The Mutual Confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY EMAIL: Tayqueendom@Gmail.com  
> For anyone to use for fic-Art or personal messages/if you need a pen pal/whatever really (Don’t be creepy though).
> 
> How are you guys liking this story? Got any suggestions? Put em down in the comments or email me. I am so willing to duo brainstorm with you.
> 
> / L: Lexa / C: Clarke / M: Madi /  
> / R: Raven / A: Anya / O: Octavia /  
> / Mc: Marcus / Ca: Callie /  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> CHAPTER SUMMARY: Lexa and Clarke take an important step.

**The Next Day**

Lexa wakes to the feel of lips on the side of her neck and fingertips running slow circles on her bare stomach. She must have moved or moaned because those lips now feel like a smile and those fingers climb up and under her tank top; one of her breasts now being cupped and teased. “Good morning lover.” her girlfriend whispered in her ear before biting it. “I know what you’re doing Clarke.”, came a rough grumble. The kisses and nips in between her shoulder and neck cease for a “And what is that?”, then start again. She rolls over to face Ms. Blue-eyes and kisses her deeply pushing her back so she is hovering over her. She lets the kiss last a few moments before she pulls back whispering in her ear, “Not gonna happen.”, and rolls off the bed leaving the room. Clarke is so sexually frustrated as her arm hangs off the bed in mock reaching for her girlfriend that’s only in her underwear and a tank-top to comeback. The brunette reenters the room two minutes later and is in all her authoritative cuteness holding a small ice pack wrapped in a hand-towel.

L: (Commanding) “Shirt.”

C: (Amused) “Ooo, finally…”

Instead of staying laid down and lifting her shirt up to show her bruise, she sits up and takes it completely off. She also pushes the covers off leaving her flesh on display in nothing but lacy grey panties. Lexa just glares and mumbles to herself “Not fair” and “So mean.”. The emerald eyed woman sits on the edge of the bed and places the ice pack to her lover’s side trying her hardest to focus on her eyes and not linger downward. Clarke eventually just huffs in irritation and lays on her side to let gravity hold the pack to her injury.

Lexa places the bedsheet back on Clarke, stands up, and walks to the closet looking for something to wear. “When do we pick up Madi from Marcus and Callie’s house?”, she says as she finds the shirt she wants and grabs it. “I love you”, comes a quiet voice that causes her to drop the clothing and turn back with a furrowed brow and a half-opened mouth. Earth stares at the sky in the quiet room, time itself seems frozen. After what seems like forever, Clarke flops onto her back letting the ice pack fall to the side and screws her eyes shut.

C: (Speaking a million miles an hour in a nervous rant) “I’m sorry, I just blurted that out like an idiot. This wasn’t how I wanted it to go. It’s just you are the most beautiful person I’ve ever met, inside and out. You treat me like I’m the highlight of your day, like I’m someone special. No one has ever looked at me like you do. No one has ever made me feel the way you do. No one has ever worried for and took care of me like you do. You treat Madi beautifully, she likes you and you always keep her in mind. You make promises you keep and take initiative. You are kind and sweet and make me feel sexy and wanted. You-”

L: (In a breath) “Clarke.”

The blonde looks over and sees Lexa with the softest eyes she’s ever seen on the woman. Before she knows it, the brunette crosses the room and is on top of her. Lips meeting slow and sweet, hands of both women trying to feel as much as possible. Clarke’s hands push the back of Lexa’s tank-top up till she gets the hint and pulls it over her head; skin on skin and curves on curves. The two sets of mouths connect in intimacy and vulnerability beyond the flesh. Even in this highly emotional state Lexa is mindful of Clarke’s tender side and is always avoiding putting her weight in that area. Lexa starts a trail south making a pitstop at the two beautiful mountains, giving each some attention. She swirls her tongue around her nipple and sucks it into her mouth to the tune of Clarke’s panting. Continuing on her travels, she places soft kisses to the bruise and C-section scar. The woman below lets out a needy moan and tightens her grip on dark hair.

Lexa hooks her thumbs in grey underwear and pulls them off throwing them somewhere to _probably_ be found later. Without warning she flattens her tongue against Clarke’s exquisite core and takes her time to get everything she can before placing a quick teasing kiss to her aroused bundle of nerves on her way back up; her girlfriend writhing with need. “I love the taste of you, I missed it so.”, reconnecting their lips. “You _are_ the highlight of my day.”, fingers dragging slowing downward. “You _are_ special.”, fingers running through wet folds. She brings their foreheads together as she pushes in two fingers that easily slide in, thumb rubbing her sensitive place. “You _are_ sexy, so fucking sexy.”, pumping steady before adding a third finger, curling and brushing that deep special spot. Clarke lets out a high pitch whine of Lexa’s name. “I _do_ want you, in anyway I can. _Always_.”, her body stills and shudders, her inner walls pulse around her fingers with such force they are almost pushed out. Lexa pumps slow to help Clarke fall gently down to earth until she stops but doesn’t pull out.

She keeps nestled in her girlfriend for a little while longer, foreheads still resting on one another. When vulnerable blue is finally visible. Lexa confesses “I love you too.”, much to Clarkes relief and confusion. The blonde lets out a small “Really?”. She lifts her forehead off and caresses the disbelieving woman’s cheek, looking her in the eye. “I love you.”, she states firmer even as her eyes soften further. Looking left to right willing the blonde to believe she deserves to be loved and hoping that she accepts being loved by her.

Clarke starts trying to roll them over and bring Lexa to her own bliss but is stopped. A pouting blonde whines, “Damn it Lex, I’m fine, let me touch you. I want to give you what you just gave me. _Please_?!?”. The determined goddess just shakes her head and kisses the tip of the blonde’s nose trying to soften the rejection. “I love you and I hate seeing you in pain, I am not going to be the cause of it. When you are fully healed, I will be ecstatic when you make love to me but please stop it. You do not have to have sex with me to keep me, this is not some banking system, I love you for you. I…Am…NOT… going… ANY-where”.

Eyes staying connected, Lexa’s hand roams the bed and finds it. She places the ice back on Clarke’s side and see’s that the blonde’s eyes brighten comically like she’s telepathically saying ‘Really? You’re going to be irritatingly cute and ruin our deeply emotional moment with being overly concerned for me. I’m _fine_ , you adorable dork!’. Lexa gets out of bed and mercifully puts a shirt on.

L: “I’m going to hop in the shower, keep the ice on until I’m out. I’ll make us some breakfast while you shower and then we’ll go get Madi. Does that sound like a plan?”

C: “That sounds wonderful.”

L: (Singsong) “I love you.”

C: (Happy shy) “I love you too.”

Lexa exits to the bathroom.

C: (To herself) “Ahhh, I’ll never get tired of that.” ‘ _Today is a good day.’_

\-----------------------------------------------------

Getting to Callie and Marcus’s house took a little longer than expected, the couple may have gotten lost in a few things, namely conversation and wandering hands. But opening the front door listening to her girlfriend yell, “Hey guy’s we’re here! Where you guys at?”, Lexa was a bit giddy. _‘We’re here… HA! We are a we…’_

Mc: (Yelling) “We are in the living room dearies!”

Entering the living room hand and hand, the couple see Marcus and Callie on the couch holding some sort of sandwich over the plates in their laps, and Madi on the floor using the coffee table as a placeholder for her smaller sandwich and potato chips; they are all watching SpongeBob.

M: (Enthralled in the TV) “Hey momma. Hey Lexa.”

(Same time) C: “Hey my love.”          L: “Good afternoon little warrior.”

Ca: “Why don’t you girls come and sit down, Madi will finish her brunch soon when she can take her eyes off the screen long enough to take a bite.”

Madi being Clarke’s daughter and all, hears this and without taking her eyes off the yellow sponge, starts mindlessly shoveling potato chips in her mouth proving that she _can_ multitask. Callie just smiles and shakes her head and Clarke, proudly looking at the back of her daughter’s head, pats the couch cushion next to her telling her goddess to sit down. The group of four adults and one child sit together watching a cartoon with an ultimate content feeling in the air.

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Hours Later (Griffin House)**

Lexa and Madi are sitting at the table in the living room coloring while Clarke cooks dinner when there is a loud banging at the front door. Clarke and Lexa share a look and she sees the blonde walk to the door and open it before quickly closing it, locking it, and standing protectively in front of it. Clarke’s face is of fear, a fear only seen one other time on her lovely face, the phone call she got that ended their impromptu coffee date. There is a slight difference though, there is some rage in their as well. “LEXA! TAKE MADI TO HER ROOM! NOW!!!”

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY QUOTE OF THE DAY:  
> “Being loved and accepting love are two completely different things. It’s my job to continue to show it to you. All you have to do is accept it, little by little.”  
> -Tijan
> 
> [FUN FACT: Research shows that long-term couples with deep, strong connections can successfully soothe each other in stressful situations or when one of them experiences pain simply by holding hands.]  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> And there is Ch 19 I hope you liked it! ♪ Who could it be now? Do-do do dooo-do. ♪
> 
> Tell me what you think, I love comments so please go ahead and share your thoughts! For the next month there is a possibility of more quantity of updates. Soooo… We shall see.
> 
> \--Was this too sudden or out of the blue? The ‘I love yous’ I mean, was it bad placement to do it here?-- 
> 
> 5/21/2019


	20. Her Past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY EMAIL: Tayqueendom@Gmail.com  
> For anyone to use for fic-Art or personal messages/if you need a pen pal/whatever really (Don’t be creepy though).
> 
> \--The BIG TWO ZERO Milestone! Thank you, my dear readers, for the continued show of appreciation for my art, it means the world.--
> 
> Was supposed to go to an Ariana Grande Concert but she is sick and doctor’s orders… Gave me time to finish this chapter up though so yay for you guys. 
> 
> How are you guys liking this story? Got any suggestions? Put em down in the comments or email me. I am so willing to duo brainstorm with you.
> 
> / L: Lexa / C: Clarke / M: Madi /  
> / R: Raven / A: Anya / O: Octavia /  
> / Mc: Marcus / Ca: Callie /  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> CHAPTER SUMMARY: Immediate continuation from that unapologetic cliffhanger.

\--WARNING-- There is a tad bit of violence for this chapter. If you have PTSD or are uncomfortable with, and know you can’t experience things like this, there is a plot summery of what occurs in the end notes down below. –WARNING--

**Hours Later (Griffin House)**

Lexa and Madi are sitting at the table in the living room coloring while Clarke cooks dinner when there is a loud banging at the front door. Clarke and Lexa share a look and she sees the blonde walk to the door and open it before quickly closing it, locking it, and standing protectively in front of it. Clarke’s face is of fear, a fear only seen one other time on her lovely face, the phone call she got that ended their impromptu coffee date. There is a slight difference though, there is some rage in their as well. “LEXA! TAKE MADI TO HER ROOM! NOW!!!”

The concerned woman picked up the five (and three quarters) year old and did as she was told leaving the fire to be put out by her love by herself. For now…

When both of her girls were out of harm’s way, she stoked the fiery hell that was in her soul. Clarke unlocked the deadbolt and turned her white knuckled fist opening the door to see the object of her loathing. He is as tall as Lexa, dark brown shoulder length floppy hair. The asshole is wearing a grey douchebag cut T-shirt and a treebark-brown leather jacket with black jeans. Not surprisingly he is wobbly drunk and is wearing that fucking grin she hates so much. She closes the door behind her and stands again, protectively in front of it.

C: (Seething) “What the fuck are you doing here Finn?”

Finn(F): (Drunk) “Ey baby! *Tries to grab her hip and is slapped away* I also wanta tea my otter babygurl. Hair is she?”

C: “Not gonna happen. Leave.”

F: “Oh comeon my Clarkypoo. I just wanta dee her. *Yells, calling for Madi* OH BABY GURL!!!!

C: “SHHHH!!! It’s not gonna happen Finn, leave NOW! I’m gonna call the police.”

F: (Whiny) “Baaaaybeeeeeeeeeee… Come oooonnnn. I dust wanna see my daughteeeer.”

C: (Snaps but tries to keep her voice down) “She is NOT _your_ FUCKING daughter! She is _MINE_! LEAVE FUCKING NOW!!! I’m NOT going to ask you AGAIN!”

Finn’s fake happy go lucky smile falls off and within a span of a few adrenaline filled heartbeats, he pins Clarke by the throat to the door with an audible thump, standing nose to nose.

F: (Spoken between gritted teeth) “If I _want_ to see my fucking daughter, I will _see_ my fucking daughter!” (Spoken in a dark aroused grumble) “And *staring at Clarke’s lips* no slutty bitch like you id gonna tell me otherwise.”

The door opens and, in a flash, as both people were shuffling backwards, Lexa removes Finn’s hand and performs some kind of takedown resulting in both brunettes on the ground. Lexa on top of Finn, her knee placed on the small of his back and both of his arms were held flush to his back, each of her hands holding a wrist. She doesn’t take her eyes off the thrashing sorry fuck as she speaks in a weirdly calm voice to Clarke, “Clarke, love… Go inside, shut the door, call the police, and then go check on Madi. I’ll keep him here until they come. Do NOT come back out, I will come and get you when it’s safe.”. She didn’t see the scared nod but heard the door close, so she knew she was being heeded.

F: (Enraged) “GET OFF ME YOU FUCKING BITCH.”

Lexa takes off her belt and uses it as makeshift handcuffs, changing her placement of her hands from his wrists to one on his shoulder and the other on the back of his neck. Thus, creating a more stable grounding hold and more freedom for her hands… just in case.

L: (Still creepy calm voice) “You know Finn, before tonight I didn’t know your face or your voice. I knew little of your past with my girlfriend, but I think it’s safe to assume you did things you will never do again to Clarke.”

F: “YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT YOU STUPID BITCH! THAT SLUT YOU CALL A GIRLFRIEND WI-”

L: “You know Finn there is a place in your spine… Where is it? *Places her knee in a specific spot* Yes, there it is… Right here, If I were to put enough blunt force right here, you’d still be alive, you just would be paralyzed from the waist down. How would you like that? To never be able to walk again? Never feel yourself inside someone? If you ever come near Clarke or our child again, that’s my promise to you.”

F: *Laughs* “You don’t scare me bit-”

L: “Let’s play a little game, hmm? It’s called ‘Let’s prove my point to Finn and see how drunk he is.’, are you ready?”

Without waiting for a reply to her rhetorical question, Lexa , in a quick sure move, grabbed Finn’s bicep and with her other hand smashed with all her might in his shoulder, effectively dislocating it to the sound of a scream. “Hmm… You’re not drunk enough to not feel pain, which means you should remember this tomorrow.” Blue and red lights can be seen bouncing off of neighboring houses, _‘they are almost here.’_. “Remember Boy, of my promise. Do… Not… Fuck… With… Me.”.

She stands up from the, now crying man, with her hands in the air when two police officers start walking up, a woman with her hand on her hip and a man with his gun drawn pointed at the ground. “My girlfriend and our daughter are hiding inside; he is the one who assaulted her. I took him down and stayed with him to keep them safe until you guys could get here. May I go to them while you call for an ambulance, he may have hurt his shoulder.”. The woman asked her for her name and for an explanation of what happened, and she told the story minus the threat and shoulder dislocation while the man called for medical assistance. Lexa again asks if she can now go inside to see her girlfriend and Madi and is given the ok, but the woman would go with her.

\-----------------------------------------------------

When the cop and brunette enter the house, she goes directly to the child’s room. She knocks and says loudly but with softness, “Everything is ok now, you can come out guys.”. Lexa did not expect Clarke to yell through the door with, “I HAVE A GUN. IT IS LOADED AND THE SAFETY IS ON. I AM TRAINED AND HAVE A LICENSE TO CARRY. MY DAUGHTER IS WITH ME. WHAT DO YOU NEED ME TO DO?”, this all being directed at the police officer she guessed was there. The police officer told Lexa to move to the side and she once again put her hand on her hip-holstered gun and shouted back calm instructions. When the door opened, Clarke did as told, she held the gun out, thumb and three fingers on opposite sides of the barrel, gun backwards and pointed to the floor. Once the gun was turned over and checked for safety, the blonde and cop then walked to the master bedroom’s closet and put the gun back in it’s resting place.

When the two return, Clarke sees Madi wrapped in Lexa’s arms, both sitting on the twin sized bed. She closed the door and held out a hand indicating for the officer to sit down with her at the table near the living room. She went threw her side of the story and showed the documents regarding her full custody of Madi and the restraining order that protects both her and her daughter from Finn. After her statement is taken and her documents are noted, she refuses medical attention for the bruises on her neck and the cop takes pictures of them. Clarkes last act with the police is not permitting them to interview her daughter and thanking them for their service before closing the door. She wants desperately to collapse in a pile and wail for an hour, but she knows she can’t and rushes to her daughter and lover. Opening the kid’s room door, the two haven’t moved from their embrace. Madi realizes her mom is now in the room and rushes to her to be picked up and bear hugged.

M: (Scared) “Mommy, what’s going on? Why was there yelling? Are you ok?”

C: (A tad shaky voice) “Mommy is fine my love, just a misunderstanding… a little argument between adults you know, and the police came just to make sure we’re ok. No big deal. Everyone is fine.”

M: “What happened to your neck?”

C: “Uh… My shirt got caught on a loose screw on the doorknob and the collar of my shirt yanked back and hurt mommy’s throat. I’m ok my love, I promise. Let’s order some Chinese or something and watch a movie hmm?”

M: (Not entirely believing) “O-okay, can I have some almond cookies with my sweet and sour chicken meal?”

C: (Relieved there’s no more interrogation) “Absolutely, my love. I-I’ll go and order it, stay in here and watch some nick-at-night okay? I’ll come and get you when the foods here and we’ll watch a movie. *Kisses on forehead* I love you.” *Holds hand out for Lexa to come with*

M: “Love you too.”

The two adult women leave the little girl to relax with her mindless activity. Lexa tries to grab Clarke’s arm and pull her to the bedroom to comfort her, but Clarke dodges and walks to the kitchen. She turns off the stovetop and gives Lexa a look that says, ‘I still have to do things and I’m barely holding it together right now, just let me be.’, and grabs her phone. The blonde orders food for the three of them and then immediately goes to throw out the destroyed dinner and fill the pots and pans with soapy water to soak overnight to try to salvage them.

After the movie ended, Clarke got up and put a sleeping Madi in her bed. She immediately goes into her bathroom, ignoring Lexa sitting on the end of the bed clearly waiting for her, and strips stepping into the shower. Getting stuck staring at the shower wall, her mind starts reviewing what happened in the last few hours against her will. When she realizes she’s crying she then starts to sob. So wrapped up in her abyss-falling, she didn’t notice Lexa coming to join her until arms turned her around and pulled her into a hug and cradled her head against the brunette’s chest. When the water turned cold, Lexa got them both out and relatively dry before carrying Clarke to the bed to continue to hold her through the night.

\-----------------------------------------------------

The next morning was tense and they all rushed to get Madi to school, they were successful though. Clarke and Lexa still haven’t _talked_ to each other and arrived back at the griffin house. Clarke unbuckled her seatbelt and was surprised that Lexa did and also got out of the car. Her face must have said ‘what are you doin?’, because Lexa replied to the unspoken question with, “I’m not going in to work today. I got my laptop; I can work from there now come on.”. The goddess walked her lover to the bedroom, and they cuddled on the bed, Lexa rubbing her hand up and down Clarke’s back.

L: “I have a few questions, can I ask?”

C: *Lets out deep a breath* “I guess.”

L: “You bought the gun because of Finn?”

C: “Yes.”

L: “The phone call you got on our coffee date, that was Finn?”

C: “No. Not exactly… That was the school. They are aware of my situation and called me to let me know that Finn had shown up, drunk as usual, and got aggressive when they told him he couldn’t get her out of class and take her home. The school was put on lockdown and they called the police and then me, they wanted me to explain the situation to the cops with documentation.”

L: “Was this the first time he’s shown up here?”

C: “Here, here? No. He only shows up at his parents’ house. His father always shoves him out the door before Madi can see him and drives him home. He must have followed us home from picking Madi up yesterday. Great… He knows where I live now.”

L: “What… uh… Why did you feel the need to buy a gun for Finn in the first place?”

C: (Another slow exhale) “Madi was… Four months old I think and…”

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

**Five And A Half Years Prior (Approximately)**

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

_‘OH, for fucks sake, I just got her back to sleep!’_

Clarke opens the front door to her loft and sees Finn, he is picking up his phone from the ground muttering to himself. This is the first time he had come to Clarke since she had told him she was pregnant, and that conversation didn’t go well.

C: “Finn?”

F: (Drunkenly slurred) “Heeeeeeey. I found you! Ow ya been? God you look amazin fo dust havin a kid.”

C: “Jesus Finn are you drunk? You need to leave; I’ll call you a cab.”

F: “No- *Drops phone again* -Damn It! *Picks it up* I dust wanna talk baby.”

He pushes past Clarke and enters anyway.

F: “Nice place baby.”

C: “Finn, come on, I just got her down for a nap and your drunk. I’ll call a cab for you and we can talk another time.”

F: (Whinny) “Iwannatalknooooowwwww. Besides she’s my baby too, I wanna see her.”

C: “No. You’re going to go home. She won’t be around you like this.”

F: (Snaps) “SHE’S _MY_ FUCKING DAUGHTER CLARKE!”

C: (Snaps but tries to keep her voice down) “Keep your fucking voice down you’re going to wake her up dumbass! And who the fuck are you? You weren’t there when she was born or the past few months. You’ve never even held her!”

F: “I will right now then!”

Clarke grabs his arm to prevent him from walking up to the crib. She starts to say, “Oh, no you’re not!”, but is cut off with Finn grabbing her by the throat and slamming her against the wall. The walls being so cheap and thin are easily indented with the shape of Clarke’s body, the most pronounced indent is the concave shape around the blonde’s head. “SHE’S  MINE TOO! I WANT TO HOLD HER AND I WILL!”. A baby’s screaming and crying can be heard now, and Finn switches his focus to the crib, lets go of Clarke and starts walking towards the cries. He is about five feet from Madi when Clarke grabs a lamp and smashes it over the asshole’s head, knocking him out cold. Clarke grabs her baby and runs out of the loft to the neighbor’s place. She calls 911 and once they arrive and she explains the situation, they arrest Finn for aggravated battery and take pictures of the walls and the bruising on her neck.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

C: “…and with the police report and the pictures, I immediately sued for full custody which I easily won and filed for my restraining order for both me and Madi, which I got.”

L: “Jesus Clarke! Why didn’t you tell me?”

C: (Averts her eyes and whispers) “I don’t know…”

The couple spends the day relaxing and talking, taking a brief nap. Clarke does have a peace breaking moment when she calls Marcus and Callie to fill them in on yesterday’s events. They then pick up Madi and go to Lexa’s house for the rest of the day.

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLOT SUMMERY:  
> Finn shows up drunk and disorderly, after being refused in, he attacks Clarke. Lexa takes Finn down and threatens him. When that doesn’t seem to be working, she hurts him, dislocating his shoulder. After the cops arrive, Clarke explains she has a gun, which is safely put back in her closet. Lexa and Madi have a moment where Lexa comforts her when Clarke can’t. Clarke has a restraining order protecting both her and Madi from Finn and full custody. The cops leave and Clarke has a bit of a break down, which Lexa is there to comfort her. The next day Clarke tells Lexa the reason she has the gun is because Finn attacked her when Madi was four months old.  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> MY QUOTE OF THE DAY:  
> “Because misery and degradation, and death, and nothing that God or Satan could inflict would have parted us, you, of your own will, did it. I have not broken your heart—you have broken it; and in breaking it, you have broken mine.”  
> -Emily Bronte (Wuthering Heights)
> 
> [FUN FACT: Although Emily Bronte is largely known for her only novel, “Wuthering Heights” (1847), the majority of her creative energy was put into the construction of Gondal – a sprawling imaginary island located in the Pacific Ocean that was led by women. She created this fictional woman-centered world with her sister Anne.]  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> And there is Ch 20 I hope you liked it!
> 
> Tell me what you think, I love comments so please go ahead and share your thoughts! For the next month there is a possibility of more quantity of updates. Soooo… We shall see.
> 
> 5/29/2019


	21. The Possibilities Of Someday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY EMAIL: Tayqueendom@Gmail.com  
> For anyone to use for fic-Art or personal messages/if you need a pen pal/whatever really (Don’t be creepy though).
> 
> \--I TRY (Meaning I put in an effort to, but don’t always succeed) to make my fic about a life and realism, not sorry if sometimes scenes come off as mundane. It’s my story, I can write what I want to.--
> 
> How are you guys liking this story? Got any suggestions? Put em down in the comments or email me. I am so willing to duo brainstorm with you.
> 
> / L: Lexa / C: Clarke / M: Madi /  
> / R: Raven / A: Anya / O: Octavia /  
> / Mc: Marcus / Ca: Callie /  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> CHAPTER SUMMARY: (Very Dialogue Heavy) Clarke and Lexa go on a date, they get through some of it. A lot of things are discussed.

\--For Kate for putting an extra pep in my step.--

 

 

Two months have passed and things between our favorite couple have been going beautifully. Marcus and Callie went away on a vacation weekend to the Bahamas, so Raven, much to the irritation of Anya’s libido, is babysitting our little natblida while Clarke and Lexa go out to dinner.

Lexa pulls the chair out for her and that causes her to smile to herself. _‘Ahhhh chivalry isn’t dead afterall.’_. She is wearing a tight lavender dress of class and simplicity; her hair is worn similar to the night the couple met. Across from her though is her one and only, _the_ goddess, hair down and free, a black dress shirt with three buttons open showing of delectable flesh, and plain matching slacks. _‘She can make a burlap sack look sexy.’_. Clarke puts her hand, palm up, in the middle of  the table, the brunette smiles and with eyes of unadulterated adoration, she takes it happily.

L: (Soft) “You look stunning tonight.”

C: (Feigning offence adorably) “Just tonight?”

L: (Still soft but mixed with slight amusement) *Chuckles* “My mistake. You look stunning always, but especially tonight. That dress looks beautiful, almost matching _your_ beauty.”

C: *Bashfully looking down at their joined hands* “Flattery will get you everywhere.”

L: “There is only one place I want to be.” *Clarke shakes her head still shy* (Firm) “Clarke. *Waits for her to look up* You _are_ incredibly sexy, believe me, please… I love you with all of my heart.”

Clarke shakes her head, leans over the table, and kisses this unicorn with as much thankfulness she can muster. “I love you too… so much.”, she breathes on her lips then goes in for one more short kiss. As she sits back down, the waiter awkwardly comes over, clearly waiting for their moment to be over. They each ordered the special of the night, Mac Nut Mahi with a side of Asian green beans.

L: “So how did Madi’s algae project turn out? Teacher like it?”

C: *Giggles* “It went well. Her teacher though was suspicious. I think she knew Madi didn’t come up with the idea.”

L: *Grins smugly* “Well whoever came up with it is a genius. Blew the other kids out of the water I bet.”

C: *Snorts* “Congratulations babe, you are smarter than a five-year-old.”

L: *Pats herself on the back* “I try.”

C: *Shakes her head at the ridiculousness with a smile* “Speaking of blowing out of the water… How’d you meeting with Mountain tech go?”

L: (With a sour look) “They are a bunch of assholes. They take over a bunch of small companies and bleed them dry then throw them away like nothing. [Author: Come on, that’s clever!] I won’t partner up with people that run their business like that.”

Clarke rubs her thumb over the knuckles of her lover and comments on how proud she is for sticking to her principles and integrity when their food comes. Lexa loves how Clarke can’t even eat for the first few minutes because her artist’s eye analyzes the lines and shapes her food and its placement makes on her plate. Instead of feasting while her food is at its prime, she sits and watches amused and content, every time.

A minute into finally eating their food, Lexa notices a change, a feeling. Looking over to the seat across, the blonde is quiet, and mindlessly eating with her face showcasing that furrowed brow and anxious lip biting. _‘Oh fuck…’_

L: (Drawn out) “Claaaarke…”

C: (Broken out of her thoughts) “Huh?”

L: (Soft) “You have that face…”

C: (Anxious backpaddling) What? No I don’t… What face?”

L: “The one where you want to tell me something, but you don’t want to tell me.”

C: *Clears throat*  “I got a call about the Finn case.”

Lexa put her silverware on the side of her plate and tried to calm her anger, looking at her lover expectantly. Clarke had on a face of somber hesitance, after a few moments she finally explained, “They gave him six months parole.”. Lexa yelled “WHAT?” to which Clarke worriedly looked around causing Lexa to remember where they were and place her mask back on.

L: (Angry whisper) “How could they fucking do THAT! That piece of shit assaulted you! TWICE!!!!”

Clarke just looked at her food and rambled on letting her anger and bitterness seep through as she talked. “Well he’s a white man and the jails are over crowding with non-white men, so what do you expect? They rather have people of color in jail for years for a medicinal plant than have white men for a few months for assault. I mean a guy who punches a woman in the face versus a person who has marijuana in their pocket… no-brainer right!?! Plus, they didn’t want to deal with the whiny bitch with a sling on… You know, with the whole shoulder thing.” Clarke looks up after a few moments of silence and sees Lexa who looks like she’s seen a ghost. “Woah… Lex what’s wrong?”, only then did she notice the strong grip their intertwined hands were in. “You… never told me that…” came a whisper. Clarke’s brows furrowed in confusion, then, then it dawned on her, and she flinched and disconnected their hands ashamed.

C: (Refusing to look her in the eye) “I don’t want to talk about it.”

L: (Sad) “ Clarke. W-” (Phone vibrates)

Lexa fishes it out of her pocket and upon seeing the caller id, pales.

L: “What’s wrong?!”

R: “Hey, everything is relatively ok. Griff isn’t answering her phone.”

L: (To Clarke) “Raven said your not answering your phone.”

Clarke gets her phone out of her bra and gives an annoyed look to it. “I accidentally turned it on silent instead of vibrate. Fuck! What’s going on?”.

L: (To Raven) “Her phone was on silent. What’s going on? You know what… here.” (Gives phone to Clarke)

C: “What’s going on Rae?”

R: “Madi threw up. I think she has a fever and I don’t know what to do.”

C: “Shit. Ok… Ok… We’re coming home right now. Get her to drink something. See you in twenty.”

R: “Kay. Shit! MADI! She’s throwing up again.”

(Phone call ends)

C: “Madi is throwing up. We n-”

L: *Raises her hand to flag down waiter* “Go bring the car around, I’ll get the check and get this stuff bagged up.”

C: *Nods* “Meet you out there.”

Waiter: “Yes ma’am?”

L: “I need the check and everything doggy-bagged, and fast please, I’m in a hurry.”

The waiter bowed and scurries away coming back a minute later with the check and two styrofoam takeout containers. As he is placing each barely eaten dish in a respective box and Lexa is signing the ticket and placing her card, the waiter asks, “Was the food not to your liking?”. “No, the food was excellent. Our daughter is sick, so we have to leave.”. The waiter frowns and takes the ticket and card. He comes back swiftly adding a small container to the bag filled with the other food and hands Lexa her card and a receipt. “I hope your daughter feels better soon, I put a slice of chocolate cake in the bag for her when she is. On the house.”. “That was very sweet of you… *Looks at name tag* Wells. I’m sure she will absolutely LOVE it. Have a nice evening.”. Lexa shakes his hand before grabbing the bagged-up food and racing to the waiting car.

\-----------------------------------------------------

The couple arrive home after a silent car ride and enter the Griffin house. Raven was sitting on the couch with Madi wrapped up in her arms. Lexa puts the food in the fridge while Clarke takes her daughter and mimics what her and Raven were just doing.

R: (Whispers) “She’s gotten worse since I called you.”

C: “Damn it. She is burning up. *Rubs soft circles on the girls back* Oh my baby. How many times did she throw up?”

R: “Three. I think she only stopped when there was nothing left in there.”

L: “How is she doing?”

C: “Not good at all. I need to get her to the hospital.”

L: *Nods* “Ok, what do we need to take with us.”

C: “Lex, you have an important meeting tomorrow. You don’t have to go.”

R: “Yeah I can go with her.”

L: “I’m fine this is more important. What do we need to take?”

Clarke just sighs while feeling a heart flutter, she lets Raven know she can leave and teases her that Anya will want to see her so they can end their night _proper_. She stands up and hugs her goodbye before she walks out the door. “I’ll get somethings together, it’ll be faster. Here, take her?”. Lexa holds out her arms and slowly takes the exhausted little furnace. Clarke goes around the house and grabs the girl’s safety blanket, her favorite toy, some pullups (Because during hospital stays, Madi always peed the bed.), and an emergency overnight bag that she stuffed in an extra pair of clothes for Lexa. Meanwhile, Lexa lightly bounces and sways with the little one in her arms, alternating between slowly rubbing up and down her back and stroking her sweat soaked hair. When Clarke returns, she looks at Lexa and apologizes for _making_ her hold Madi for so long, the brunette is a little bit offended but doesn’t let it show. “You _never_ have to apologize for _allowing_ me to hold the pequeño guerrero (Little Warrior), I love her as I love you.”

Clarke is emotionally surprised, tears threatening to flow; she shakes her head as to focus herself and grabs the car keys, holding the front door open. They get to the car and Clarke throws the items she carried into the back seat, quickly moving to the passenger side, hopping in and collecting Madi from Lexa’s arms. As the brunette drives to the ER, they hold hands on top of the gear shift the entire way.

\-----------------------------------------------------

At the emergency room, thankfully it is hospital policy to take Children as soon as possible, so the trio didn’t have to wait very long. A nurse comes and walks them to a private room, Lexa stands next to the patient bed that Clarke sits on still with arms wrapped around Madi. The nurse had given Clarke a child’s size hospital gown and left the room. Lexa didn’t know if she was an intruder or welcome to stay so she chose the safe path and also left the room. The mother changed her daughter into a pullup and the gown, waking her a little in the process. When Lexa and the nurse came back in, Madi’s breathing and temperature were taken. After that, the nurse left informing that a doctor will be in shortly.

Clarke was sitting on the patient bed slightly reclined, feet spread out, Madi cradled to her chest. Lexa was by the foot of the bed leaning against the wall with her hand on the blonde’s ankle. “Why don’t you bring that chair over here”, the blonde asks as she nods to the empty space on the side of the bed. Lexa does just that, quietly as to not scare the girl awake, moves the guest chair to the spot told and sits down, her hand now on Clarke’s thy. The doctor comes in and the mother shuffles down to the middle of the bed sitting up right. The doctor asks multiple medical questions and checks the glands on Madi’s neck. She asks the child if the spot she is pushing on hurts, to which a broken baby “no” that broke Clarke and Lexa’s heart was replied. [Author: It broke mine writing this.]

The mother was informed that it was the Flu after testing and that since it has been very dangerous for children this year, they were keeping Madi overnight for observation. But she was expected to make a full recovery. They put the child on a saline IV drip, which putting in the IV made Lexa visibly distraught with all the whimpering Madi did at the pinching feeling. Everyone left after giving Madi medicine, leaving the trio alone again, all reverted back to their places they were in before the doctor came in. Clarke moves a hand down on the hand Lexa has on her thy and laces their fingers, bringing her girlfriend’s hand to her lips. “You don’t have to stay Lex.”, then places another kiss to the hand before bringing it back down to the bed, still intertwined. “I’m not leaving until you tell me to.”, Clarke hopes there is a double meaning in that statement. There is, but the blonde’s self-doubt makes her question its reality. After about ten minutes of just hearing the vital sign monitor beeping, Lexa surprises Clarke.

L: (Soft) “Do you want more kids?”

C: (Tries to defuse with sarcasm) “Uhhhh. So that’s where we’re at huh?”

L: (It doesn’t work) (Even softer) “Do you?”

C: “I don’t know… Honestly, I don’t know. Do you want kids?”

L: “I do… *After tense seconds* When Costia got diagnosed we were in the middle of trying to get pregnant. We were literally in the middle of looking at donors at our kitchen table when she got the call and then our world shattered.”

C: *kisses her hand again* “I’m sorry babe. I love you.”

L: “And I love you. *After silent minutes.* I think I would want to carry. You know… If that was in the cards in the future…”

C: (Tries to lighten up the heavy) “You would be incredibly sexy pregnant.”

After a laughing spell, Lexa hesitantly asks, “Do you think that maybe someday, if you decided you wanted more kids, you would be ok with me being the carrier?”. Clarke just gazes into that never-ending forest and squeezes her hand, nodding while breathing out a whispering “Maybe Someday.”.

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY QUOTE OF THE DAY:  
> “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”  
> -Maya Angelou
> 
> [FUN FACT: Maya spoke six different languages. Angelou learned to speak French, Spanish, Hebrew, Italian, and Fante (a dialect of Akan native to Ghana).]  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> And there is Ch 21 I hope you liked it!
> 
> Tell me what you think, I love comments so please go ahead and share your thoughts! 
> 
> 6/1/2019


	22. The Hardest Confession Is The Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY EMAIL: Tayqueendom@Gmail.com  
> For anyone to use for fic-Art or personal messages/if you need a pen pal/whatever really (Don’t be creepy though).
> 
> \--I TRY (Meaning I put in an effort to, but don’t always succeed) to make my fic about a life and realism, not sorry if sometimes scenes come off as mundane. It’s my story, I can write what I want to.--
> 
> How are you guys liking this story? Got any suggestions? Put em down in the comments or email me. I am so willing to duo brainstorm with you.
> 
> / L: Lexa / C: Clarke / M: Madi /  
> / R: Raven / A: Anya / O: Octavia /  
> / Mc: Marcus / Ca: Callie /  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> CHAPTER SUMMARY: The next day at the hospital and once home, both women bare emotions to the other.

\--WARNING-- There is a tad bit of violence for this chapter FOR THE LAST HALF ONLY. So, once you get to the “*****”, if you have PTSD or are uncomfortable with, and know you can’t experience things like this, stop reading… There is a plot summery of what occurs in second half of the chapter in the end notes down below. –WARNING--

Clarke is woken up with a whimpering sound, she is laying on a hospital bed with Madi’s back curled into her stomach, the little girl’s hand holding a corner of her safety blanket tightly. The mother swipes her hand through her daughter’s wet hair-covered forehead, she is post-fever sweating. _‘Thank you, Lord!’_. She closes her eyes again in an attempt to go back to sleep when she hears it again, that hurt whimper, though now she recognizes it. She looks over to the other side of the bed, Lexa is sitting in a chair hunched over, with her head on top of her crossed arms that are on top of the bed. Her head is lying ear first on her arms so Clarke is fortunately able to see her girlfriends scrunched up face. Reaching an arm over the girl, she starts caressing the top of the frightened woman’s head in hopes to rouse her. She succeeds, but the woman still manages to wake with a startled gasp. The scared green eyes look into empathetic blues, and then down to sad hazels. The brunette wipes her face from hairline to chin and stands up, walking into the connecting bathroom.

M: (Weak voice) “We need to help her Momma.”

C: (Whisper) “We will. *Kisses temple* How are you feeling my little love?”

M: “Better… I don’t think I need to hurl anymore.”

C: *Soft chuckle* “That’s good. It feels like your fever is breaking, you are sweating threw your clothes. You need to hydrate, momma’s gonna get you some water. Be right back.” *Kiss on cheek*

The mother gets out of the bed and reshuffles the sheet on top of the tired girl before grabbing a cup off the rolling tray table and heading off to the bathroom. When she enters, she sees her disheveled lover staring at herself in the mirror with a soaked face, hands on either edge of the sink, and the faucet running. She walks over and curls one arm around the woman’s waist while placing the cup on the sink, then turning off the faucet, and finally interlocking her fingers with the hand resting on the brunette’s bellybutton with the other hand. The blonde kisses her cheek and rests her chin on Lexa’s shoulder looking at her in the mirror. Lexa leans her head onto Clarke’s and closes her eyes, relaxing into her.

She only opens her eyes when a soft voice disrupts her calm, “Please… Please, get some help. I can’t stand watching you be tormented with out even trying to help you get better.” Those haunted and tired eyes close again, and an exhausted at life voice joins the disrupted calm, “Okay… I’ll look for a therapist soon, alright?”. The blonde nods and kisses her temple again before stating Madi is waiting for her water and she needs to pee. Lexa takes the cup and fills it with cold tap water and leaves the mother to relieve herself.

As she is walking around the bed she asks, “How are you doing my little warrior?”. A tiered “I’m better, just thirsty. Where’s momma?” is spoken. Lexa holds up the cup and sits on the side of the bed. She holds the cup up to the girl’s lips and slowly tilts it, “Momma should be out soon little one, don’t you worry.”. Speaking of her, Clarke exits the bathroom and sees them like that, her heart skips a beat. She rounds the bed and stops once she is standing at the side of the bed close to the head. She feels her daughter’s sweaty forehead and then kisses it. “I’m gonna go see if they can give her another saline drip. I’ll be right back.”, The blonde informs and then gives a quick peck to her girlfriend’s lips, leaving the room.

Madi, in her sick state feels clingy; she takes off half the covers and states that she wants cuddles, and damn if Lexa was going to refuse such adorableness. The goddess, still with the half full cup in hand lays down with the girl. She lays on her side facing Madi who is on her back and holds her head up with a bent arm. She continues to make the girl drink, little sips at a time. Ten minutes later the mother reenters the room with snacks galore and stops in her tracks. The only thing that makes her move is a nurse needs it so she can get in. The nurse screws in a fresh saline bag and takes the empty one with her, smiling courteously.

Clarke empties her arms on the tray table and moves it over to the bed. She rolls up the bottom of the sheet and sits down at the foot of the bed Indian style and grabs Lexa’s feet to rest on her lap. Grabbing a bag of chocolate chip cookies, she hands it to the brunette’s wanting hands. “Are you hungry little one?”, the goddess asks. Madi just nods sleepily/enthusiastically, opening her mouth for a cookie. Lexa chuckles and holds it in front of the girl’s mouth letting her take the three slow paced bites necessary to eat one cookie before plopping one in her mouth and offering the next up to the child. The two continue this until the vending machine sized bag is empty, all the while Clarke is watching in fearful awe, thinking one move could make this daydream disappear.

L: “Can you hand me that water bottle?” (A few moments later) “Clarke? Babe?!?”

C: “Huh? WHAT?”

L: (Amused) “Babe… Can you please hand me that bottle of water? On the table…”

The blonde hands over the bottle and watches with a melting heart, Lexa putting the bottle to her daughter’s lips and assisting her in drinking. “Hey Lexa?”. She gets a distracted hum of acknowledgement. “I love you.”. Lexa pauses for a heartbeat in her helping of the girl to look into azure eyes before humming softly and responding with, “I love you too, Clarke.”.

A half hour later Madi is asleep and leaf green and cerulean are lovingly staring at one another, both having one-sided conversations with the other mentally. Both asking things they are afraid to ask, stating things too scared to state, and telling truths honest for both that are doubted by the other. Their reverie was broken when the doctor peaked her head in the door, neither woman hearing the knock seconds before. She asked them to wake Madi so she could check her blood pressure and temperature, so because Lexa was still snuggled up to her, she brushed her hand on her cheek; “Oh little one… wake up dearest.”, the brunette said in a soft, almost song like voice. When small hazels were visible, “There she is… the doctor is gonna check to make sure your well enough to go home, but we got to wake up.”. The chocolate haired woman helps the child sit up in the middle of the bed and retakes her place in the nearby chair.

The mother shuffles close to sit beside her on the bed and kisses the girl’s cheeks before switching into momma bear mode while the doctor works. Madi is immensely better, though she will still have the lingering flu symptoms of a hard cold for a few days yet, she is no longer endanger. As they are being discharged, Clarke is having trouble signing papers while she holds her, getting heavier, daughter. Lexa recognizes it and holds out her arms in respectful question, the mother hesitates but hands her sleeping child over to focus on her discharge forms. As they get to the car about to move the girl once again to her mother’s arms, a grumbled “Stop moving me, I want sleep.”, is spoken in cute irritation. The goddess laughs and looks to the nervous blonde and offers her hip so she can take the keys from her pocket and open the passenger-side door for them.

\-----------------------------------------------------

**At The Griffin House**

C: “I’m gonna give her a bath real quick then tuck her in for a nap, you should go shower while I do that.”

L: (Feigned offense)“Are you saying I stink?”

C: (Amused) “No love, just… I have a thing with hospitals. Everyone and all fabrics are to be washed as soon as possible, meaning now.”

L: (Teasing) “Ah, so you’re a bit of a germaphobe… Learn something new every day.”

C: “Shut up… Kinda… Uh, only where hospitals are concerned. Whatever! GO take a shower!”

An Hour later Madi is in her room napping and Clarke walks into the living room, after finishing her shower, and smiles seeing Lexa sitting on the sofa waiting for her with their dinner from the night before warmed up. The blonde sits down in a huff and closes her eyes with her head reclined on the back of the couch in a moment of blissful peace. When she opens her eyes, a bite of Mac Nut Mahi is hovering near her lips, she closes her eyelids once more and pulls it off the fork with her mouth eagerly humming contently. Lexa continues to feed them both, after one take-out box is empty, she starts on the second, giving her girlfriend the last Asian green bean in completion. With all food being digested, Lexa grabs Clarke’s arm and pulls her to sit in between her outstretched legs to have the woman’s back be flesh to her chest, blonde curls covering her shoulder.

L: “We need to talk about it…”

C: (Semi-conscious) “Hmm?”

L: “About what you said at dinner…”

After a minute.

C: “No, no we don’t.”

L: (Firm) “Clarke.”

C: (Mocking firm) “Lexa.”

L: “Clarke I need to know the extent of what he has done. I _need_ to know.”

C: (Angry) “No you fucking don’t! It’s completely irrelevant.”

L: (Calm) “It _is_ relevant. He showed up here and put his hands on you. If I wasn’t here… If… *A little emotion breaks through* I _need_ to know what he’s capable of.”

Clarke shoots out of the comfortable cuddling session and with wet eyes and a barely contained rage, grabs Lexa’s hand and drags her to her bedroom while speaking through gritted teeth; “ _Fine_! You want to FUCKING know WHAT HE DID!?! Here!!! Let me _SHOW_ you!”. She goes into her closet, into the very back of the highest shelf pulling out a shoebox. She throws it on the bed, items sliding like a crashed wave.

*****

Lexa sits on a corner of the bed, one leg out, one leg bent. She shuffles threw a bunch of papers and finds three pictures. Her anger is swelled and her eyes get glassy as she pics up a picture of Clarke, her neck is covered in a dark lined bruise, cheek swollen and red, a split lip bleeding. She picks up the next picture and it shows a big busted lump on the back of her head. The third picture is showing a small bloodied bald spot on the side of her head. Lexa looks up with second hand hurt, a stone face with tears looking back. A dead voice rings in the room, “I left a few things out when I told you what happened between me and him…”.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

**What REALLY Happened Five And A Half Years Prior (Approximately)**

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

_‘OH, for fucks sake, I just got her back to sleep!’_

Clarke opens the front door to her loft and sees Finn, he is picking up his phone from the ground muttering to himself. This is the first time he had come to Clarke since she had told him she was pregnant, and that conversation didn’t go well.

C: “Finn?”

F: (Drunkenly slurred) “Heeeeeeey. I found you! Ow ya been? God you look amazin fo dust havin a kid.”

C: “Jesus Finn are you drunk? You need to leave; I’ll call you a cab.”

F: “No- *Drops phone again* -Damn It! *Picks it up* I dust wanna talk baby.”

He pushes past Clarke and enters anyway.

F: “Nice place baby.”

C: “Finn, come on, I just got her down for a nap and your drunk. I’ll call a cab for you and we can talk another time.”

F: (Whiny) “Iwannatalknooooowwwww. Besides she’s my baby too, I wanna see her.”

C: “No. You’re going to go home. She won’t be around you like this.”

F: (Snaps) “SHE’S _MY_ FUCKING DAUGHTER CLARKE!”

C: (Snaps but tries to keep her voice down) “Keep your fucking voice down you’re going to wake her up dumbass! And who the fuck are you? You weren’t there when she was born or the past few months. You’ve never even held her!”

F: “I will right now then!”

Clarke grabs his arm to prevent him from walking up to the crib. She starts to say, “Oh, no you’re not!”, but is cut off with Finn grabbing her by the throat and slamming her against the wall. The walls being so cheap and thin are easily indented with the shape of Clarke’s body, the most pronounced indent is the concave shape around the blonde’s head. A baby’s crying can now be heard but is ignored. “SHE’S  MINE TOO! I WANT TO HOLD HER AND I WILL!”.

Very much fazed but trying not to let it show, Clarke grabs the wrist of the hand around her neck and claws it as hard as she could, he yelps and pulls her head forward and slams it back into the wall. “Why don’t we just make another one? I’ll be there for the whole thing this time. Be my slut again baby.”, he breathes onto her cheek. He kisses her hard and shoves his tongue in her mouth, her dizziness from the second slam allowing a few seconds of that painful kiss. When she becomes fully aware, she bites his bottom lip hard enough to draw blood and then knees him in the stomach though she was aiming for lower. His hand leaving her throat finally.

“SHE WILL NEVER BE YOURS!!!”, Clarke screams. Finn gets out of his startled state and punches her on the side of her face. “SHE WILL _ALWAYS_ BE MINE! _I_ MADE HER!!”. He grabs a handful of hair and throws her on her bed to the screaming sound of a shaky yelp.

Baby Madi is screaming at the top of her lungs now, and Finn switches his focus to the crib, stopping his descent onto the bed and starts walking towards the cries. He is about five feet from Madi when Clarke grabs a lamp and smashes it over the asshole’s head, knocking him out cold. Clarke grabs her baby and runs out of the loft to the neighbor’s place. She calls 911 and once they arrive and she explains the situation, they arrest Finn for aggravated battery and take pictures of the wall and the bruising on her neck and the injuries to her face and head.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

L: (Soft) “Clarke, why didn’t you tell me before? That night…”

C: (Ashamed) “I don’t know.”

L: “Yes you do.”

C: (Irritated)“No, I don’t.”

L: “Clarke…”

C: (Yells) “I DIDN’T WANT TO TELL THE LOVE OF MY LIFE ABOUT THE MOST TERRIFYING EVENT OF MY LIFE!!! I THOUGHT HE WAS GOING TO RAPE ME! *After a few seconds* And I was POWERLESS! So very FUCKING ALONE!”

Lexa gets up off the bed and slowly walks to the doorway of the closet, when she is in front of the blonde she sinks to her knees, sitting on her calves. All the air is sucked out of the blonde’s lungs as the brunette feels her blood pumping in her ears. “Firstly, you are _never_ powerless. You are the strongest person I know. Secondly, I will never lay a hand on you. Never make you feel unsafe. I swear to treat you’re needs as my own, and if you allow me, your child as my child. I will always be with you, side by side. _Always_. You will _never_ be alone.”. Clarke extends out an offered hand which Lexa takes and stands up; they stare at one another for a moment frozen in time. They embrace and Lexa whispers in her ear, “You are the love of my life too.”.

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLOT SUMMERY:  
> After asking about the “punches a woman in the face” slip up, Clarke angrily shows pictures of her injuries from Finn. She tells Lexa what really happened five years ago. Finn attacked her when Madi was four months old. He did more than she initially let on. It was more violent, and it seemed like he was going to force himself on her. Baby Madi was screaming loudly and with the distraction Clarke got away. After telling the whole truth, Lexa drops to her knees and lays everything bare. A sort of tribute to the swearing fealty to Clarke scene. If you want to read that part, read after the second set of “/////////” marks.  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> MY QUOTE OF THE DAY:  
> “Make up your mind that no matter what comes your way, no matter how difficult, no matter how unfair, you will do more than simply survive. You will thrive in spite of it.”  
> -Joel Osteen
> 
> [FUN FACT: The two highest IQ scores in recorded history belong to women and women earn more than 60% of all college degrees in the United States.]  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> And there is Ch 22 I hope you liked it!
> 
> Tell me what you think, I love comments so please go ahead and share your thoughts! 
> 
> 6/7/2019


	23. The Difference Between

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY EMAIL: Tayqueendom@Gmail.com  
> For anyone to use for fic-Art or personal messages/if you need a pen pal/whatever really (Don’t be creepy though).
> 
> \--Longer wait = Longer Chapter, No promises for that always being the case.--
> 
> / L: Lexa / C: Clarke / M: Madi /  
> / R: Raven / A: Anya / O: Octavia /  
> / Mc: Marcus / Ca: Callie /  
> / I: Indra / G: Gustus /  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> CHAPTER SUMMARY: Some romance and future talk. Another peewee football game and visiting the parents.

**Lexa’s Office (A Month Later)**

L: (Aggravated) “YOU KNOW WHAT? SEND THAT IDIOT UP HERE! I’LL FIRE HIM BEFORE I KICK HIS ASS OFF THE _FUCKING BALCONY_!! *Beeps off the speaker phone to her assistant* That asshole thinks he can screw with me? Ungrateful motherf-”

C: (Sultry) “You’re hot when you’re being the ‘ _Commander’_.”

The fuming goddess freezes and once she looked at the blonde standing at her office door, “You know I hate that nickname.”, she growls as she marched to her and brought her into a tight hug. “I need a minute.”, she murmured into the alabaster neck. The couple stood together breathing in and out, Lexa’s tension easing but hitting a plateau. When they separate, Clarke is surprised when Lexa crashes their lips together and her back hits the door with a thud. A hand glides up her thigh under the skirt of her dress and fists the front of her underwear yanking them down and off as she starts her attack on her neck. Clarke unconsciously feels around and locks the door before her legs are unceremoniously grabbed at the back of the knee and hiked up begging for ankles to lock together.   

Lexa walks over and plops her lover on top of her desk, brushing the straps of the blonde’s dress down to have it sink around her belly and fondles her breasts through the cloth bra. Clarke pulls her hair and forces her to move her lips from her neck to her mouth. She stays there for a few moments before taking a cloth-covered nipple in her mouth wetting the fabric and hardening the flesh. Her hands push up the dress skirt and grabs the blonde’s ass pulling her to the edge of the desk and then pushes her knees apart wide. As she goes in for a kiss of fire, her hand finds wet heat. They both moan in the others mouth when Lexa swipes her fingers up and down coating them in slickness before pushing in. She starts with one but immediately pulls out to push in two, not long after is a third begged for and granted. Clarke is pushed down sitting back on her forearms as Lexa is relentless in her pounding, her free hand has slid under her bra and is pinching and rolling a nipple. Soon the blonde’s euphoria has her flat on her back with her head hanging off the desk. When Clarke’s legs try to close, Lexa turns sideways. Her back stopping the left leg and her left hand forcing the right leg away, continuing her punishing rhythm in the middle with her right hand. The blonde slaps her palm onto her lips as she screams out an earthshattering orgasm.

Both are trying to catch their breath, Lexa on top of a supine blonde intermittently pressing soft kisses on her belly and chest. When she finally returns to a semi normal heartrate, she began to panic and stood straight nervously combing her wet fingers through her hair. “Are you alright? I’m… I’m sorry, that was too much. I lost control, I’m so sorry, please forgive me. I’ll never do that again.”. That was what she was going to say, but she only got halfway through the first sorry when Clarke placed her foot in the middle of the brunette’s chest and lightly, but firmly, kicked her into her desk chair.

She gets off the desk on shaky legs, though thankfully falling on her knees was the goal. When she kneels on the course carpet, she starts undoing the brunette’s belt, pant button, and pulls down her zipper. “I’m more than alright love, that was phenomenal. Never apologize for giving me shattering orgasms.”, she breathes out as she tugs the brunette’s slacks down around her ankles. She knows her goddess must be really revved up from the stressful day and watching her fall apart under her so she purposefully licks at an even moderate pace, making it last longer than it would if she continued at the pace they did moments before. Clarke sucks the sensitive nub in her mouth flicking her tongue a few times. A hand that was resting on a tan thigh was grabbed and was intertwined with her lover’s fingers to help ground both of them.

Lexa has her face tilted to the heavens with her eye’s closed when her assistants voice comes through her phone speaker. “Miss Woods, Jason is here as requested, shall I send him in?”. Lexa leans over and presses the call back button trying to speak in a calm voice as her girlfriend continues her pleasurable assault. “Uh, *Clears throat* thank you… Echo… have him wait… It will *Bites her lip to hold in a moan*… It will be a minute.”. She clicks off the speaker and leans back again just as Clarke starts teasing her entrance with her tongue. She whines when the blonde doesn’t penetrate and moans when she flicks her tongue over her clit. “So impatient.”, comes a muffled voice. “Clarke please, need more.”, she begs. Her unintertwined hand is white-knuckling the arm rest. She relents and enters her, licking her inner walls at first before setting a fast pace in and out rhythm, her free hand rubbing her nub in smooth quick circles with her thumb. Lexa only last ten or so seconds before clinching her teeth and releasing her remaining stress all over Clarke’s lips and chin.

When Lexa comes to, her golden-haired love is straddling her, lips pressing random kisses on her jaw line, and their wet cores flush together in an intimate and gentle union. Neither one knows who initiated slow sweet kissing but they both can’t seem to care. Clarke breaks away but keeps their foreheads connected; “You are nothing like him, don’t ever think that. I am not fragile. Even when you are in the heat of the moment you could never hurt me, I trust you… Do you trust what I’m saying? It’s important that you understand that what happen back then and what happened just now are in no way the same. I would have fought you if anything you were doing was unwanted. *After a few seconds tries to break the tension with a smirk* And I sure as hell wouldn’t have gone down on you afterwards, no matter how good you taste.”.

Lexa smiles ruefully and kisses her soundly, “Ok, I do understand, just panicked for a second. I never want to make you feel unsafe… I trust that you would tell me if I did something not ok… Do you trust that I would immediately stop, no question, no judgment, and would love you more for doing so?”. Clarke maintains eye contact to emphasize her words, “Without a doubt in my mind.”. They confess their love for the hundredth time [Author: Not complaining in the slightest.] and proceed with finishing their brief tender after-sex makeout.

When the couple is moderately decent and everything has been wiped-down, Lexa finally asks what Clarke is doing in her office in the first place.

C: “Oh, right. Callie is getting Madi ready for the game, soooo I thought I’d come and steal you early and we’d go out for lunch before hand and then meet everyone there.”

L: “I’d love to. But can you give me five minutes, I need to fire someone then I’ll be ready to go. Meet you in the car?”

Clarke gives a quick peck and leaves the commander to commanding things. As she is leaving, she sees the nervous man who is about to be unemployed and tries her best not to laugh. _‘You’re welcome Jason, I just saved you from falling six stories... The commander is much more cordial now, thanks to yours truly.’_.

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Impromptu Lunch Date**

The couple is sitting across from one another at an outside picnic table, they went to a Mexican food truck and ordered a spicy burrito each (Clarke had extra sour cream, Lexa extra lettuce and cheese). The sun is shining, and the two women enjoy the other’s company, child free.

L: “What time is dinner tonight?”

C: “Game is at one and dinner is at five… Indra knows to make a plain cheeseburger for Madi right?”

L: “Mhmm, I texted her this morning reminding her, and I’ll text her after the game just in case.”

C: “Always thinking ahead babe. Have I told you how much I love that you take initiative?”

Lexa swallows the food she was chewing and gathers up her courage while drinking her sweet tea.

L: _‘Yeah about that… Uh…’_ (Nervous) *Clears throat* “What do you think about moving in together?”

Clarke freezes and mimics the food swallowing and drinking that the brunette did seconds prior.

C: (Nervous sarcasm) “It seems I’m not the only one who blurts important milestones out.”

L: (Negotiating businesswoman) “Look I know you’re going to want to spend a few days thinking about it obviously, but, I’d love to do it. And I haven’t really made my house mine, when I’m not at the office, I’m split between your place and mine; that’s not enough time to personalize it. I want my house to be our house… It’s bigger and has more rooms... A bigger backyard… Uh, two garages… I think Madi would love it there, AND it’s within walking distance of her school that she’ll be at for the next four years. And I was checking into the middle school, which is also close by is really goo-”

Clarke was smiling during the whole monologue, her heart bursting when there was mention of four years and beyond. But when her tan face started getting flush from lack of oxygen, she grabs Lexa’s hand and put her out of her misery.

C: “I’ll think about it, ok?

L: *Breathes out in relief* “Ok.”

C: “I’ll talk to Madi about it and sleep on it, we’ll talk some more and… We’ll see.”

L: “Sounds like a plan.”

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Peewee Flag-Football Game**

C: “Fucking traffic! I can’t believe we’re late!”

L: “Clarke, it’s fine Callie told her we’re ok and will be in the seats by the time the game starts. *Checks watch* Which we will be, I think.”

The couple ran to the bleachers and find their usual group with matching Madi-jerseys Raven had made for everyone and sit down. They search for their MVP and Lexa finds her first, pointing her out to the mother with a big smile just as the girl turns around and breathes out in relief; the trio waves at each other (Clarke adding in a blown kiss which Madi blows back) and the first whistle is blown.

The first half of the game was fine, everyone was having a good time, the group was praising every team catch and touchdown. Madi was putting in her all, Lexa and Clarke were so fucking proud of that girl. Then all hell broke loose, Madi fell and was crying and Lexa ran onto the field. Clarke was used to kids being rambunctious little ones so her first instinct was to wait for the coach to check on her daughter and give her a thumbs up like she does for all the other kids who take a spill, but when she saw Lexa take off she felt warm. Her face was hot, partially from embarrassment and partially from her melting heart.

Lexa sees Madi fall and slide on the grass with momentum then saw her little wet face. Next thing she knew she was next to her and trying to find her injuries. What she finds is that both her palms and her right shin were burned by the friction of the girl sliding on the field, her shin was more severe, a little bit of blood was visible. She grabs the girls face and with her thumbs, wipes the tears away, “You’re alright my love. Just scratched up hands and leg. Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.”. She picks Madi up bridle style and turns around to see soft sapphires standing a foot away. They are interrupted by the coach coming out of no where and explaining that there is a first-aid kit by the team benches off to the side of the field.

Lexa walks over and sits the girl on the bench kneeling in front of her after gathering the kit. She grabs an alcohol-wipe and wipes her bloodied shin and hands. When the girl hisses from the burn of the disinfectant, the mother coos soothing words and kisses the top of her head, running her hand through chestnut locks in continuance. Lexa then smears some antibiotic ointment and covers each injury with the biggest band-aid available. After, to the surprise of everyone, she plants a gentle healing kiss to all three injuries softly whispering, “To make it all better.”. When she stands up and looks to a wide-eyed Clarke, looking over the blonde’s shoulder to see Anya laughing with the stunned group, she realizes what she had done and blushes. The coach comes over and she tells them that Madi is out for the rest of the game. When Madi is given the choice of staying and watching her team play or leaving, she chose to stay. For the rest of the game, Madi sat sideways on her mother’s lap with her feet resting on Lexas’.

Instead of the girl going to her grandparents’ house for the night, our trio goes back to the Griffin house to relax and eventually get ready to meet Lexa’s parents for the first time.

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Indra & Gustus’s House**

Driving up to the house, Clarke really has to pee!!! Her post-baby bladder does not do well with holding it in for long periods of time. Everyone (Minus Clarke) laughed because Madi scolded her mom saying, “You should have gone potty before we left.”, to which Clarke huffed and murmured “Yeah… yeah!”. Lexa just empathetically patted the blonde’s knee and interlocked their fingers for the remainder of the drive.

Now being here and knocking on the door, the mother is hop/dancing back and forth on her feet, one foot at a time. Lexa gave directions to the nearest bathroom in the car so when the door opened, she ran inside yelling all the way to the bathroom door at the lovely surprised couple, “HI! HELLO! SORRY! SO SO SORRY!!”. When Lexa was given an inquisitive look from her parents she simply said, “She _really_ needs to pee.”. Then the couple look down to the mini brunette and soften their faces. Lexa sees that Madi is scared as she is trying to hide behind her hip, so she reaches around and caresses her head from the top down to her shoulder blades and brings her forward. She puts both hands on the girl’s shoulders and introduces her parents by name. Gustus kneels on one knee and holds out his hand in greeting. Madi looks up at her protector in question of ‘stranger or friend?’.

When the taller brunette gives an encouraging nod, the girl puts her bandaged hand in the bear’s paw. When the big man notices the large band-aid, he turns the little hand palm-side up and gives a concerned expression. “What happened to your hand child?” asks Indra. “Oh, uh, I fell during football. But it’s ok, Lexa made it all better.”, Madi replies. The intimidating woman looks at her daughter and sees embarrassment on her cheeks and pride in her eyes.

Clarke walks over and stands at her girlfriend’s side, said girlfriend takes one hand off her daughter’s shoulders and wraps it around her waist.

L: “Mom, Dad, this is Clarke. Clarke, my mom and dad.”.

C: *Holds out hand to Indra* (Nervous) “I washed em, sorry about that by the way. Nice to meet you Mrs. Woods.”

Indra (I): *Shakes hand* (Stoic & clam) “Indra, not Mrs. Woods. *Looks at Madi* That goes for you too.”

C: *Small smile & small nod* “Indra.” *Offers hand to Gustas*

Gustus (G): *Shakes hand* “Gustus if you please. *Looks to Madi* You can call me anything you’d like little one.”

As Clarke is retracting her hand, she looks to Lexa with a knowing smirk saying with her eyes, “So that’s where you get it.”. The brunette responds with a small smile, tilts her head to the side slightly, “Pretty much.”.

G: (To Madi) (Excitement) “We got you presents little one!”

I: (To Clarke) “If that is ok ofcourse.”

Madi looks to her mother with second-hand excitement and puppy dog eyes, the blonde just softly smiles and nods. At Indra’s behest, everyone goes into the living room where they are met with two wrapped up packages. Indra and her husband sit on a nearby couch and our trio sit on the floor next to the presents. Madi opens the first box and bounces up and down showing it to her mom and Lexa.

M: (Thrilled) “It’s a bunch of paints momma! A LOT of colors!”

C: (Tries to match excitement) “I see that love! What do we say?”

M: (To Indra and Gustus) “THANK YOU!”

I: (Small smile) “Lexa tells us that you paint a lot with your mom.”

G: (Big smile) “Thought we’d stock you up for a bit… There’s one more, little one.”

The girl opens the last present and it’s a personalized football jersey. It is leaf green like her standard jersey but instead of white ‘Griffin’ across the shoulder blades, it says in black letters, ‘Little Warrior (Shoulder blades) Griffin (Lower back)’. Madi plops down on her mother’s crossed legs and asks her what it says. Clarke reads it to herself with an “Aww!” and tells her daughter to ask Lexa to read it to her. The girl moves to the brunette and again plops down on a lap holding the shirt away from them. Clarke stealthily takes a picture of them like this and makes a mental note to save it as her screensaver later. Instead of simply reading it out loud, Lexa ofcourse makes it a teaching moment and helps Madi sound out the two unknown words (Not ‘Griffin’ because she recognizes her last name). When the girl realizes she catches a goofy look and clutches the shirt to her chest, the older woman whispers into her ear and she shouts, “THANK YOU! I LOVE IT!”. The eldest couple have faces of relief and happiness at seeing a child’s appreciation. Lexa also thanks her parents for the gifts to which they respond with appropriate pleasantries.

Indra and Gustus excuse themselves to finish up last minute items for dinner, the ebony woman finishing up taking hotdogs off the grill and the big bear of a man putting last touches on a Walldorf salad and taking out baked potato wedges from the oven. When Clarke quietly commented on the large quantity of food being served for just four adults and a five year old, Lexa explains that all leftovers are taken down to the group-home (Home were children are put when no foster home is available or they are high risk or other unsavory reasons) down the street.

After dinner, Madi stood on a chair in front of the sink next to Gustus and dried dishes he cleaned. Clarke had gotten a phone call about an artist and some sort of gallery problem she had to deal with, so she went to the empty living room. That left Indra and Lexa sitting on patio chairs in the backyard next to the pool.

L: “Soooo, how are you liking it here? Better than D.C.?”

I: “Still getting used to it, but I’m glad we moved. I missed my daughters.”

L: “I missed you too Mom. It’s been a hell of a few months.”

I: (Amused) “Speaking of… You and Clarke… I like her.”

L: (Happy) “She is amazing mom. I love her. She’s – She’s the love of my life, she’s the one.”

Indra gazed at her daughter who was staring at the tranquil waters of the pool, such utter bliss of her face matching the sure unwavering truth of her words.

I: (Hesitant) “Costia would have liked her.”

L: (Bittersweet) “You think?”

I: (Firm) “I _know_.”

Lexa leans closer to her mother and quietly confesses, “I asked them to move in, well her, Madi doesn’t know yet and Clarke is still thinking about it.”. The mother smiles unsurprised, “She’ll say yes… Just a matter of time before you guys are getting married like Anya and having more children.”. The daughter chuckles repeating the word ‘more’, then whispering, “We haven’t really talked about marriage much, but we did talk about babies.”. Now the inner grandma Indra is excited, “Really!?”. Lexa smiles sweetly and nods, “Mmhmmm, if she wants more kids I would carry.”.

I: “I can’t wait! You would be _beautiful_ pregnant, sweetie.”

L: *Chuckles* “So I’ve been told.”

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY QUOTE OF THE DAY:  
> “I often think about how, if we were all placed in an apocalyptic situation, you'd realize quickly how stupid, petty things just don't matter anymore. Who you love is who you love, and it doesn't matter. Survival is your primary focus.”  
> -Alycia Debnam-Carey
> 
> [FUN FACT: Although Alycia Debnam-Carey is best known for her incredible acting abilities (A.K.A Lexa), she also has a brilliant musical ability, is a genius classical percussionist. She graduated from the prestigious Newtown High School of the Performing Arts in 2011, specializing in percussion. She also participated in a unique event in which a group of 40 musicians came together and composed a piece in only two weeks. She very nearly decided to attend the Sydney Conservatorium of Music. But luckily for her fans, she decided to pursue acting instead and came to America at just 18 years old to succeed.]  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> And there is Ch 23 I hope you liked it!  
> They're making such progress, what could go wrong…? *Drinks tea and stares at you*
> 
> Tell me what you think, I love comments so please go ahead and share your thoughts! 
> 
> \--Question… Do you think fans would be less or more mad if Lexa was killed without Clarke and her having a sex scene?—
> 
> \--The funny joke towards the beginning of this chapter, anyone get it or too obscure?--
> 
> 6/18/2019


	24. Forward And Stuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY EMAIL: Tayqueendom@Gmail.com  
> For anyone to use for fic-Art or personal messages/if you need a pen pal/whatever really (Don’t be creepy though).
> 
> \--Longer wait = Longer Chapter, No promises for that always being the case.--
> 
> / L: Lexa / C: Clarke / M: Madi /  
> / R: Raven / A: Anya / O: Octavia /  
> / Mc: Marcus / Ca: Callie /  
> / I: Indra / G: Gustus /  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> CHAPTER SUMMARY: More on moving in together and Anya and Raven’s wedding. Some romance.

**Two Weeks later (Lexa’s house)**

Clarke walks in and calls out for her goddess but doesn’t receive a response. She walks up the stairs and, in the master bedroom, sees her beloved sitting on her bed leaning against a wall of pillows reading a book. The brunette is in deep concentration, her brows are furrowed, her sexy reading glasses are on, and her index finger is following her eyes as she reads. Upon closer inspection, she notices a large grey square between Lexa’s lower back and the pillow-wall that is connected to a cord plugged in to a nearby outlet. With new concern she asked, “Is your back-”, the corresponding yell made the blonde join her girlfriend in jumping in fright.

L: *Clutching chest*“Damn it Clarke! You scared the hell out of me!”

C: “I called out to you when I came in…”

L: “Well I didn’t fucking hear you! OBVIOUSLY!”

C: (Taken aback by the sharpness) “Sorry…”

Lexa calms down enough and after taking a deep slow breath in and out, feels guilty for her angry reaction. She pats the space next to her on the bed and the blonde comes hesitantly. When they are sitting side by side, she holds out her hand which is immediately taken and then in a calm tone but with a hint of lingering irritation, she asks, “What were you saying?”.

C: “Huh? Oh, I was asking if your back is hurting you. The heating pad…”

L: “Unfortunately my period started this morning. *Seeing the endearing smile* What?”

Clarke throws her arms around the brunette’s neck and plants a sloppy (and purposefully goofy) kiss on the woman’s cheek. “AWWWWW! Our cycles have synced together!”.

L: *Groans* “Wait, you’re on your period too? Babe, that’s not a good thing.”

C: *Scoffs in feigned offence* “Yes it is! We are becoming one!” *Peppers kisses all over face*

L: *Short giggle* (Light and amused) “God! You’re such a dork… I love you.”

C: (Now satisfied with the improved mood) *Slow kiss* “I love you too.”

The two switch positions so that Clarke is sitting into Lexa between her long legs, so as to provide heat to both vice-gripped areas; the brunette’s hands providing heat fiction on an alabaster tummy. After minutes of just enjoying serene company, muscles relaxing along with the days’ stress. Clarke decides to share her news.

C: “Soooo… I finally talked to Madi last night… About moving in together.”

L: (Lazy) “Mhmmm… and how’d that go?”

C: “Well…”

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

**Last night**

The mother is tucking in her daughter at bedtime, “Where is Lexa?”, the little girl asks. “She is very busy at work this week love. She had a really early day and had to stay late tonight, it was just easier to spend the night at her place.”, she states. When she realizes this is the opportunity, she finally brings it up, testing the waters.

C: “Hey love, mommy has something she wants to talk to you about. *A few moments of silence to pick a place to start* Do you like Lexa?”.

M: “She’s nice to me. She’s ok, I guess. She _really_ scares me when she sleeps over and haves nightmares. I want her to get better. She makes you happy momma… I just like to see you happy.”

Not expecting that, the mother has to take a moment to control her emotions.

C: *Clears throat* “Ok, umm… *Clears throat* We are working on the night terrors ok? You are so sweet my love, but I’m more concerned with _you and Lexa_. She asked us to move in with her… and if we say yes that means we will all be under the same roof _permanently_. What do you think about that? And I _really_ _need_ you to be _honest_.”

M: “Do you want to live with her?”

C: “It doesn’t matter, I want to know if _you_ want to. It won’t be just _me_ ; it will be _us_ going to live with her.”

M: “Yes, I like her. She’s a good cuddler, but she sucks at painting. She teaches me things that later when I teach my friends, I feel like I’m the smartest one in my class. She’s nice…”

C: (Amused) Well-”

M: “Can we get a dog?”

C: “What?”

M: “She has a BIG backyard! Mommy can we _please_ get a puppy?”

C: “Uhh, that’s something we’re gonna have to talk about, later. But right now… are you ok with moving in with Lexa?”

M: “Yeah, that’s fine.”

Clarke is hesitant asking one more time to which she receives a nod. She then asks if the girl is absolutely sure, to which she receives a firm nod. “Alright then, I’ll talk to her soon and we’ll talk about the when; ok my love? Nighty night sweet dreams… I love you.”. “I love you too momma, make sure you ask about the puppy!”, the girl reminds. The mother chuckles and kisses her daughter’s forehead before turning on the nightlight and exiting the room.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Clarke turns her head to look behind her when she doesn’t hear any comments or joy, or really just any reaction, and sees a strange face. “Lexa? What’s wrong babe?”. After a few quiet moments, she opens up her mind, “I-uh I had my intake appointment last week with Doctor Alie Pramheda, she’s one of the best sleep psychiatrists around. I’ll have my first actual appointment in on Thursday. Hopefully she can give me something to make me sleep like the dead.”. The blonde breaks their snuggling up temporarily to turn around straddle her lover, “Hey… You have no control over it, Madi understands. Don’t beat yourself up.”. When Lexa’s face is unchanged and still guiltily pouting, “But we’re moving in together.”, she says sweetly like a consolation lollipop after being stabbed with a needle.

It does not have the intended effect.

L: (Quiet) “Perhaps we shouldn’t move in together.”

Clarke shifts on the bed, no longer straddling her lover, but putting a distance between them. She sits crosslegged a half a foot down the bed now still facing the brunette. “Woh, are you seriously fucking backpedaling NOW!?” The brunette averts her eyes in shame, “Madi shouldn’t have to deal with being afraid every night with me screaming. It’s not fair to her. I shouldn’t sleep over at your place anymore either. I-I don’t know…”.

Pale hands grip tan cheeks, the forest finally graces the storming sky. “Stop it! *Looks left to right and back again* That right there, does NOT work for us. The nightmares, we are trying to fix, but even so can be dealt with. We can do things to make Madi less scared, like we can go into her room after to let her see your alright. But you backpedaling, and sounding like you’re going to run away… That DOESN’T work. I have not brought you into my daughter’s life for you to call her ‘ours’ and then pull back at the first semi-parental hurdle. If this is too much for you, if this needs to end, tell me now, because I will not let _this_ continue.”.

A minute has passed of silent patient gazing, “I was a child of fear Clarke… I don’t – I never want to have Madi follow in my footsteps. Hopefully, with medication and therapy I’ll get better… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you think I don’t want this; that I’d claim Madi and then walk away. You girls are stuck with me.”. The blonde wraps Lexa in a tight embrace, “I need a minute.”, she mumbles into her neck.

L: (Whispers) “Me too.”

After a few moments, “It gets better;”, Clarke says, “I promise.”. The brunette nods quietly and gets up to go to the bathroom. On the way there she stops and grabs her lower stomach and lets out a barely audible humming whimper in quick pain. The blonde is off the bed and next to her in a heartbeat. “LEXA! What’s wrong?!”. She waves her off and starts to continue towards the bathroom when her arm is gently grabbed and stops her. “No. What was that?”.

L: “Nothing, my periods are a bitch. Always have been. *Sees Clarkes deep concern* Really, I’m fine. Luckily I only have to deal with it half the time other women do.”

C: “What?”

L: “Uh, I only get periods every other month. It’s my normal cycle... Which is great because they’re always so heavy and so fucking painful”

C: “One, have you seriously been suffering alone your last few times? *Lexa just guiltily shrugs* And two, have you talked to your doctor? Got checked out?”

L: “No, Why?”

C: “Maybe you should get checked out... Make sure everything is ok and, you know, ok to carry and your ability to get pregnant.”

Lexa breaks into a wide breathtaking grin, seriously, Clarke needs to remember to inhale. “For our baby?”, the goddess sweetly and amusedly questions. The blonde shyly smiles, “We have a few steps before then, but… in the future? *Shrugs* Madi always wanted to be a big sister.”. She lifts her eyebrow with a smirk, “Well what Madi wants, Madi gets. Who am I to deny?”. Clarke shakes her head, “Calm your baby fever love.”, nudging her girlfriend to the bathroom and slapping her on her bottom.

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Raven And Anya’s Wedding (A Week And A Half Later)**

Octavia and Clarke, as Raven’s maids of honor and Lexa, as Anya’s best woman, stand by each respective bride at the altar or really just an intimate clearing between decorated trees. Each wear black slacks and dark cobalt dress shirts. Raven is breathtaking in her tight dress (Matching our favorite couple’s shirts) and Anya is sharply dazzling in her suit. It is a small gathering of around thirty witnesses. Lincoln, also wearing a suit, Anya and Lexa’s brother from another mother best friend, is officiating; he being ordained online the day before. Madi is sitting next to Indra and Gustus in her adorable dress pants and shirt with her hair in a tiny bun, a-door-a-bowl.

The ceremony begins and Lexa and Clarke can’t stop making eye contact. Every promise and vow are agreed upon in their gaze, when the rings are called upon their eyes regrettably disconnect to hand over each wedding band. “I now pronounce you wife and wife, kiss your wife.”, Lincoln concluded, and girl did they kiss their new wife. Indra actually covered Madi’s eyes after a few seconds and Lexa whispered to Anya that children are present when Raven moaned; thankfully that did the trick.

There are a few rounds of photograph sessions and then a half hour break before the reception for people to change if they need to or any other number of things. During this time Lexa takes a call from work and when she doesn’t come back after a while, the blonde finds her standing on a small wooden bridge leaning on the railing. Walking closer and mimicking her position next to her, she notices something has drastically shifted. “Babe, what happened?” she cautiously questions. “The contract I’ve been working on getting for the past few weeks went another way. Them fucking idiots… They went with Mountain Tech and in a few months hundreds of people will be out of a job when they use up all of their resources and get tossed away. They won’t even see it coming.”. Clarke pulls her arm so they’re standing face to face and hugs her hard when she sees that devastated face. “You need a minute.”, she mumbles.

L: (Sad whisper) “I’ve should have tried harder to make them see I was the better choice. All those people…”

C: “Hey. You are not responsible for those owners getting into bed with that turnout machine. _They_ made _their_ choice. Now they have to deal with the consequences.”

L: “But the workers don’t have a choice. I know how these things go, they’re gonna wait till the last possible second and then hand out a wave of notices, ‘Oh sorry bye-bye. Thanks for your years of service, but we’re done now.’. One second everything is fine, and the next they have no way to feed their families.”

Silence envelopes them and times gets lost track of when Madi pops out of no where to tell them the reception started. The mother is angry for a split second, “Why are you out here alone? Where’s Indra?”. When the girl points behind her, the couple look to see the grandmother several yards away. She must have came looking for them with the girl and stopped when she saw their intimate moment, the girl must have not gotten the memo and interrupted anyway. “What’s wrong?”, asks the girl sensing the thick energy and seeing Lexa’s half mask. The mother responds, “Lexa just got some bad news my love, nothing to worry about.”. What Clarke didn’t expect was her daughter catching a second-hand sad face and walk over to her girlfriend putting her arms around the tops of the older brunette’s thighs and pressing her head to her lower tummy.

Lexa was as surprised as Clarke apparently because she was frozen in the semi-awkward embrace. She quickly snapped out of it as she slowly struggled out of the hold to bend down and wrap her arms around the girl in a proper hug. “Thank you pequeño guerrero. You made me feel a lot better.”, she whispers into the girl’s ear after a few moments. When she looks up to the mother, the woman has glassy eyes and is looking back at this special scene. When the daughter feels her mother’s hand brushing the back of her head, the two part. “Ready to go to the reception?” Lexa asks to no one in particular. When Clarke nods her head in agreement and grabs her daughter’s hand to start back, Madi grabs Lexa’s free hand with hers and the trio join the party hand in hand in hand.

The part is in full swing, the little Griffin is dancing with another child, it was so cute, the mother just had to stealthily take a picture. Looking over to her goddess sitting next to her she hates that depressed look in her eye, “Wanna dance sexy?”. When she sees the smirked nod, the couple hits the dance floor. When a slow dance tune is played the two get close and sway. Clarke looks at her girlfriend, her body is moving to the pace of the song, but her mind is not hearing the music.

C: “Lex, be here with me.”

L: *Eyes halfheartedly focusing* “I’m sorry. I’m here… You are _gorgeous_ ”

C: *Squints her eyes* (Drawn out) “Riiiggghht”

The blonde drags her by the hand to the bathroom. Once inside she locks the door and starts pushing in the stall doors to see if they are alone. “Clarke look I’m sorry I-”, Lexa starts to say in an annoyed/guilty tone but is cut off with her girlfriend’s lips. Feeling hands start to pull her shirt from her slacks she breaks the hungry kiss. “Clarke what are you doing? We are at a party and Madi is out there!”. When the shirt is free and pale hands caress tan abs, the blonde responds, “The door is locked, and our daughter is dancing. *Pull said shirt off* Shut up and kiss me.”. She pulls her forward and they get trapped in an all-consuming kiss. She shoves the brunette’s pants down, they fall to her ankles, and orders her to kick them off.

Putting her hands on her lover’s waist, she walks them to the wall next to the door and pushes Lexa against it, finally breaking their connected lips to nip and lick her neck and mark her chest. She starts stroking her through the wet spot of her panties with her fingertips causing a lowly whimper. “Clar-”, Lexa is once again interrupted. “Feel me” she demands as she drops to her knees, pulling off her underwear, lifts each leg on her shoulder, and lunges. “CLARKE!”.

The only thing Lexa can hold on to is her girlfriend’s hair and the door trim beside her. When she comes it’s through gritted teeth and a quiet screech. Her body feels like its tingling and her head is floating and on fire. She is barely able to feel legs being brought back to the floor. The next thing she sees after regaining the use of her brain is Clarke with her pants and underwear around her ankles and her shirt is missing. _‘We aren’t done? She is going to be the death of me. What a wonderful way to go.’_

Her feet are no longer on the ground again, but now floating behind Clarke, level with the woman’s waist. The blonde’s hands on the back of each thigh holding her up. “Feel me”, she commands, softer than last time. She brings their beautiful vaginas together and rubs their clits continuously. Lexa has her arms resting on her shoulders, one hand clawing at her back and one snaked into her hair, holding her close. Opening her eyes, she realizes the sink mirrors are reflecting back the sexiest scene she’s ever seen. In the mirror is her face of pure exhausted ecstasy, sweaty blonde hair being tangled around her fingers, Clarke’s strength in holding her up and in her thrusts, Lexa being completely undone and at her mercy, and lastly but surely not least that sexy plump white ass. She simply can’t help herself and moves the hand that was on the blonde’s back, to that ass and grabs a handful hard, watching them in the mirror as it encourages Clarke to speed up and rub harder. One particular well angled thrust has the brunette unable to contain a gritted “Fuck!” in her lover’s ear and she is flung over the cliff. Clarke isn’t far behind with her release, moaning out a distorted version of Lexa’s name.

L: (Hoarse) “I love you.”

C: (Breathy) “I love you too.”

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY QUOTE OF THE DAY:  
> “When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one that has opened for us.”  
> -Alexander Graham Bell
> 
> [FUN FACT: Alexander Bell didn’t have the middle name “Graham” until he turned 11 when his father gave it to him as a birthday present. He’d earlier asked to have a middle name like his two brothers. Also, his mother and wife were both deaf, this had a major influence on his work.]  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> And there is Ch 24 I hope you liked it! 
> 
> Tell me what you think, I love comments so please go ahead and share your thoughts! 
> 
> \--I’m gonna let you guys name the dog and what breed... Post in the comments please.--
> 
> \--How clever was it to have A.L.I.E as Lexa's therapist... Come on pat me on the back for that one.--
> 
> 7/13/2019


	25. Progress And Regression

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY EMAIL: Tayqueendom@Gmail.com  
> For anyone to use for fic-Art or personal messages/if you need a pen pal/whatever really (Don’t be creepy though).
> 
> \--Longer wait = Longer Chapter, No promises for that always being the case.--
> 
> / L: Lexa / C: Clarke / M: Madi /  
> / R: Raven / A: Anya / O: Octavia /  
> / Mc: Marcus / Ca: Callie /  
> / I: Indra / G: Gustus /  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> CHAPTER SUMMARY: A fluffy day of artistic expression on Madi’s new bedroom. But…

The room was empty, the walls a blank canvas… both of which were about to change. It was a week before our trio’s moving date, Madi wanted to paint her room, and Clarke was having an artistic field day. Lexa was in love with that smile, the smile that said, ‘this is what I was made for, this is my paradise.’. Yes, Clarke’s idea of paradise was a ruined shirt, her hair in a messy bun, the smell of paint fumes, and open cans of pigment ready to make something from nothing. That smile made her heart beat faster and her eyes soften; it was one of the things that had her falling happily into the future. Rollers, brushes, plastic tarp, paint, and two women with a girl; the true meaning of ‘utopia’ is ‘nowhere’, but here it is.

C: “My love, what do you want as your base color?”

M: “Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, violet.”

L: “Nice, and what do you want on top of that little one?”

M: “What do you think mama?

C: “Hmm, how about you and Lexa paint the base coat on the other walls after we do one and while you guys are doing that, I’ll do the details after it dries? If you don’t like it, we can always paint over it with the base coat again and try something else. Sound like a plan my loves?”

The brunettes agree and the three start painting the first canvas. When their short break is done, Clarke decides to paint a large white accented tree silhouette with winding reaching branches. While she is doing that Madi and Lexa start on the second wall, the girl painting low and the woman high. Luckily plastic sleeves were taped on the floor boards along with the floor tarp because Madi was making a beautiful mess. When all the canvases were base coated, the mischievous girl decided to play a prank. While her mother was in her mode, she dipped her brush in paint and reaching on her tippy toes, slathering taffy pinks on Lexa’s neck and under her chin.

L: (Mumbles to herself) “Oh no she didn’t…”

The woman looked down and saw that half-frightened half-committed pride and placed a stone-cold stare on her face. She reached down slowly not losing her steely eye-contact and dipped the tips of her fingers in sunny yellow paint. Then at the same snail speed she smears it all over the girl’s cheek and nose. A few stunned seconds pass and they both break out in laughter, then start exchanging paint swipes on anything they could reach on both persons. They soon somehow get into a tickle fight and Madi ends up on the ground squealing with Lexa kneeled beside her long fingers on a little sensitive tummy. When they both take a break to catch their breath, the older brunette looks up and sees the mother looking back with an adoring gaze. Clarke was dragged out of her bubble with the first burst of laughter and saw the whole event, she couldn’t think of a better sight in that moment.

“Looks like someone needs a bath… or rather two someones… Lexa would you mind helping my daughter up so I can ask her a question?”, Clarke requested in an amused tone. Lexa just nodded and picked the girl up fast (causing her a last squeal in delight) and slowly placed her on her feet with a kind smile. The girl goes to her mother and the question is whispered in her ear. There seems to be a nonchalant agreement from the girl and the mother seems to want a reaffirmation, which she gets. “Babe can you give Madi a bath While I finish up and start the next wall?”. Lexa hesitates and takes a moment to really ask herself if she is confident enough to do that, she’s given kids a bath before in the multitude of foster homes she’s been in but this is a different scenario. She nervously nods and Clarke sees that she is trying to hide that emotion. “My love, can you take these brushes and wash them for me? Wipe your hands with the wipes before though, ok? The step stole is by the sink. *Madi starts walking away with the brushes after cleaning her hands* Thank you love.”.

Clarke grabs some baby wipes and motions for Lexa to walk over to her. When they are face to face, the blonde grabs her girlfriend’s hands and starts cleaning them while speaking in a whisper. “Sorry I should have asked you in private like I asked her. If you’re not ready that’s ok, you know. We go at our own pace and no other’s or society's preconceived conceptions should factor into our speed.”. Lexa grabs the wipes from Clarke and finishes cleaning herself up explaining, “This is not like the neglected temporary children from the system, I did stuff like bathing and diapers – childcare – I did childcare, because no one else was. I don’t even know if I did things right, my only parameter was they aren’t crying or dead… And I was a kid myself, it was so long ago… I’m scared *Looks away wiping her already cleaned hands* and I’m not confident I know all the things to do.”. Clarke’s heart breaks for those unknown children and for her lover’s lost childhood. Trying to keep the knowingly unappreciated pity from her face, she grabs her into a hug trying to comfort, it only works a little.

C: (Whisper)“Alright, I’ll walk you through the whole thing. And I am within yelling distance if you need anything or anything happens. I think you’ll gain confidence by trudging forward and doing it. You got this; I know it. If you want to wait, you can watch me do it this time. But I have faith, you are better than you think. Much of it is instincts and common sense anyway, and Madi will help you too. I didn’t mean for this to be a whole big thing and stress you out.”

L: (Ashamed whisper) “This _is_ a big deal, this is _Madi_.”

The mother grabs more wipes and starts cleaning her woman’s neck and face thinking of her next response. She gets the neck and one cheek done moving onto the nose when she gets her words together. “I trust you and I trust in you… Madi does too. I have no problem with you watching our bathroom routine to get something to go off of – that’s fine, I promise – or I can talk you through it real quick and you can try. It’s totally up to you.”. Lexa goes into her mind again thinking it through. She breathes out long and slow and gives a short quiet “I want to try.”. Clarke goes through the generality of bath time step by step reminding that she is close by should anything happen just in time when the girl of the event reenters her soon to be bedroom.

Clarke starts painting and identical tree on the mirrored wall and on the walls with the door and window (that are mirrored with one another), she paints contrasting colored circles; some with bubble outlines, some with dashed outlines, and some with complete lined outlines. As the bedroom is under artistic renovation, Lexa and Madi go off to fix the jubilant mess they’ve made.

\-----------------------------------------------------

Lexa, along with Madi, walk hand and hand to the bathroom keeping the door wide open. The older brunette stops in front of the tub and drops to her knees to be at eye level with the girl. “If you want to tell me something, _please please_ _please, tell me_. Ok?”. The girl looks at her with some unnamed emotion, “Ok.”, comes a small voice. “I’m serious, if you get soap in your eye, the water is too hot, you want a toy or something – do you play with toys? – or if-”. Madi’s attention has been lost in her ramble, the girl now playing with a spinning sphere that lights up.  The woman uses a finger to lift the distracted girl’s chin and pleads, “Promise me you’ll speak up if I’m doing something wrong?” and sticks out her pinky. The littlest brunette looks slightly amused and hooks the offered pinky with hers and promises to communicate if need be. With that she asks if she can help undress her, even though that’s exactly what Clarke said to do, and is given the go ahead.

The woman turns on the shower head waiting for it to warm up before lifting the child over the lip of the tub. She instructs Madi to take her hands and rubs as much paint off as she could. When only a few colored patches remain, she inputs the drain plug and pushes down the plunger turning off the shower and turning on the faucet. The tub being filled a quarter the way up, she takes the nearby wash rag, hydrates it, and scrubs a dab of soap on it. Handing it to the now sitting girl, she reminds the girl to avoid her eyes and clean her neck and behind her ears. Lexa was now going to sit outside the door and comeback when her hair was to be washed, but in the process of walking out and telling her she’ll be right outside, Madi stops her.

M: “Can you read to me? Momma used to but now she cooks dinner while I bath. I like stories while I get clean.”

How could she refuse? Seriously, no other option is left, and it’s one of the best things in her life. Trying to slow down her heartrate, she takes her phone out and sits on the closed toilet. After reading a few book summaries, they settled on a book called “Number the stars” by Lois Lowry, about a Jewish little girl and her family fleeing during World War II.

A number of pages later, Clarke stands in the doorway, “How are my loves doing?”. Lexa was about to nervously shout that she was about to wash the girl’s hair like somehow the blonde was subtly scolding her. (She wasn’t) Madi bubbled with telling her momma about the new book ‘Lexi’ was reading. The corners of the tired artist’s lips were pointed to the ceiling, the lines around her eyes were just perfectly there, she is truly breathtaking.

C: “-ex… Lexa?”

L: (Rush) “Huh? Yes. What?”

C: (Amused) “I was thinking delivery for dinner since we have been painting for a while and _some_ of us still need to get cleaned up. Sound good?”

L: “Oh, yeah that sounds good. Go take a shower and I’ll order… *Looks to Madi* Chinese or pizza?”

M: “Ooooo, Chinese!”

L: (With a smile) “I’ll order Chinese after I wash her hair, that’ll give me time before they come to shower myself.”

The mother nodded happily and went to wash off the day. Lexa finished reading aloud the chapter they were on, then grabbed a near by cup to start on the girl’s hair. She must admit, this was a calming part of bath time. Madi loved getting her scalp massaged and Lexa loved being the one to bring comfort to someone she hoped would claim her back as her own… _‘One day I hope.’_

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Later That Night**

Clarke woke up warm, a pair of strong slender arms around her, hot breath causing her baby hairs to tickle the back of her neck. The feeling in her lower abdomen was what woke her up. She sadly untangles herself and slowly rolls out of bed on a mission to the connecting bathroom. She relieved herself with an accidental loud sighing moan. She turns off the light before opening the door as to not wake her love up, when she does said love is standing in front of her. “Hey babe.”, she said softly.

No response.

Clarke goes to put a comforting hand on Lexa’s arm thinking she’s upset.

The brunette jerks back afraid.

Now Clarke is scared, “Love what-”.

Suddenly Clarke is sort of sitting, kind of pretzeled in the bathtub. Her head aching, the room spinning, and her left hip has an intense burn. The curtain rod on top of her, one end on her shoulder, the other resting on the lip of the tub.

Looking up she sees Lexa staring back, face as white as ever seen, eyes wide in shock. The brunette starts to walk forward but stops when the blonde flinches and cowers. To make matters worse, “MOMMA!”

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY QUOTE OF THE DAY:  
> “A pretty face may be enough to catch [someone], but it takes character and good nature to hold [them].”  
> -Thomas More
> 
> [FUN FACT: Utopia was the title of a book written by Thomas More; it was about a perfect society. This why when someone says that something is a utopia, they mean a paradise, an ideal, a perfect world. But More created the word from the Greek word ‘ou-topos’ meaning 'no place' or 'nowhere', that’s why it was the title (It was a pun) because perfection doesn’t exist.]  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> And there is Ch 25 I hope you liked it! 
> 
> Tell me what you think, I love comments so please go ahead and share your thoughts! 
> 
> \--I was just watching “Orange is the New Black” and my chest hurt from the stress, so I thought I’d finish this fluffy chapter.-- (I wrote this before the last scene LOL)
> 
> \--"Number the Stars” is my favorite children’s book, not be confused with my favorite baby book “To Give a Mouse a Cookie”.--
> 
> \--What do you think happened? Tell me in the comments Also you still have time to pick a dog name and breed for me to write in.--
> 
> 7/27/2019


	26. Betraying Yourself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY EMAIL: Tayqueendom@Gmail.com  
> For anyone to use for fic-Art or personal messages/if you need a pen pal/whatever really (Don’t be creepy though).
> 
> \--Loved the reaction from my last chapter, thank you lovelies.--
> 
> / L: Lexa / C: Clarke / M: Madi /  
> / R: Raven / A: Anya / O: Octavia /  
> / Mc: Marcus / Ca: Callie /  
> / I: Indra / G: Gustus /  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> CHAPTER SUMMARY: An explanation of that cliffhanger you lovelies oh so loved.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

**A Few Hours Beforehand**

L: (Down) “Tofranil… Common side effects include dry mouth, blurred vision, headache, drowsiness, dizziness, constipation, naus-”

C: (Slow and cautious) “Honey.”

L: “-vomiting, loss of appetite, diarrhea, stomach cramps, weight gain slash loss, increased sweating, tingly feeling, weakness, lack of coordination, ringing in your ears, breast swelling, – in men or women, fun. – decreased sex drive, – Jesus – impotence, – don’t have a penis, thank god – or – Oh my god! SERIOUSLY!!! – difficulty having an orgasm. That last one is a night terror in and of itself! CLARKE!”

The blonde so exasperatingly called on stopped hanging up clothes in their newly joined closet and knelled on the bed. She shuffled up and closed the laptop on Lexa’s lap, “Ok, when you get pregnant, I’m banning you from the internet.”.

L: “Just pointing out that you said, ‘when I get pregnant’ not ‘if’. It’s supposed to help me sleep through the night without PTSD dreams, it’s not doing that! And on top of that look at all the shit symptoms, some of them are actually about literal shit!”

She smiled and rolled her eyes at the ranting, “Love… *Moves the laptop to the nightstand straddling Lexa’s lap* It has only been three days and *Puts hands on shoulders* you don’t have any of those symptoms yet. It can take up to two weeks for any medication to start to effect anyone”. She moves her hands to cup the back of the brunette’s neck and trails kisses on her jaw line. “As for the difficulty you don’t have having an orgasm… Well, let me demonstrate.”.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

**Present**

Lexa woke up at the sound of a crash, through the disorientation she realized she wasn’t in her bed but standing up. Then she figured out she was in the bathroom and switched the light on. The sight in front of her made her blood run cold. She went to move her feet into a rushing forward movement but Clarke, the love of her life, her girlfriend, someday wife, flinched away and cowered, covering her face with her forearms. That made her stop immediately, _‘What did I do? No… NO… NONONO!’_. “MOMMA!”, came a shout next to her. _‘WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO?!?!’_.

Madi simultaneously woke up from the loud noise and ran from a guest bedroom to Lexa’s – her mom’s – room and immediately into the master bathroom. The girl pushed the end of the shower rod causing it to roll off of her mother and clanking loudly on the tile floor, she then with difficulty, stumbled getting into the tub in desperation. When she was finally in reach, she didn’t know what to do. She grabbed each side of her face trying to get her attention with “Momma… Momma… MOMMY!”, but mommy kept her eyes firmly watching Lexa. _‘Why is she just standing there!?! HELP MY MOMMY!’_

There was a high-pitched buzzing in her ears, she felt heat all around her, her hip felt like it was being cut open, _‘Wha…?’_. Looking up she sees Lexa’s shocked face, and then her moving towards her. She may have not had a complete idea of what had just happened but her flight/fight/freeze autonomic reaction was to protect herself as best she could from more abuse. When there wasn’t any additional pain her arms slowly dropped to her lap. Lexa was now the frozen one, eyes the most disheartened she’s ever seen. The slim seconds after, she gained more awareness. _‘This did not just happen._ _I can’t…’_. It took her a few more seconds to realize someone had a hold of her face. When she saw her daughter’s tear stained cheeks and terrified eyes, her gears shifted in the span of a heartbeat.

When Clarke moved back to where Lexa was standing prior, she wasn’t upright anymore but on her knees. This caused her to have that night, that sincere naked declaration to pop in her mind.

_///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////_

“Firstly, you are never powerless. You are the strongest person I know. Secondly, I will never lay a hand on you. Never make you feel unsafe. I swear to treat your needs as my own, and if you allow me, your child as my child. I will always be with you, side by side. _Always_. You will _never_ be alone.”

“You are the love of my life too.”

_///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////_

_‘Something happened to her, this isn’t her.’_

Her body moved on from her state of danger to slowing down the adrenaline pumping through her. “Lexa, look at me.”, she spoke in a pained grunt. The self-loathing woman slowly brought her head up from its slumped position. “Help Madi out of the tub.”, that stunned the woman. She frantically stood up and started scurrying towards them. Her body started having a lingering sense of danger and her arm unconsciously flew out in protection of her child. Lexa once again stopped and if it was possible for her to look more of disheartened self-hatred, that accomplished it. Madi is in the beginning stages of understanding that Lexa might have done something wrong.

She pulled her arm back and inch at a time, willing her body to understand that there was no active danger. Looking up at Lexa she nods to her daughter, granting permission previously given. Lexa did as asked but in slow motion, dropping back down to her knees, reaching out, gripping under the girl’s arms, lifting her over the lip of the tub, and finally placing her on the tile floor. Each action with precise purpose, she is now a robot under complete control of Clarke.

Clarke is in complete control.

Lexa stopped, unmoving in expectation of new orders. “Now me… Bed.”, came a ruff breathe, she was not looking forward to being moved. Once again, the woman moved slowly and in steps, one foot in the tub, then the other, crouch down, arms under knees and mid back, and stand. Clarke let out a pained groan and bit her bottom lip screwing her eyes closed. Opening her eyes, she sees glassy eyes gazing back. Lexa powers up again, one foot out, the other follows, step step steps to the bed, lean down and over; once the backs of her forearms touch the softness of the crumpled bed sheets, she retracts them and takes a single step back.

Clarke rolls on to her side as to not put pressure on her throbbing hip, hisses, and puts a hand over her contorted face. Madi starts her high climb on to the bed and after huffing a puffing, multiple tries, and no help from Lexa, she gets to the mountain top. The girl crawls up the bed and lays down in front of her mother, her back to Clarke’s front. “Ice?”, came a small voice. The blonde nods her head yes and heard slow muffled movements away, then the patter of running down the stairs, a second later the same patter, and back to slow muffled movements. Moving her hand and having her baby blues visible, “Hip.”

Pulling up the shirt she looks upon colors of brown and black where paleness should be, her dread of what she could find turns into devastation of what she did find. Her eyes grow wet again, _‘What did I do? How? I can’t beli-’_. “Lay down Lex.”, A gentle voice accompanies a soft hand resting atop hers holding the ice pack to her injured area. _‘I don’t deserve any of this. Why is she not leaving me?’_. When she puts her knee on the corner of the bed Clarke speaks again causing her to stop.

C: “Actually wait. Take Madi back to bed and tuck her in.”

M: (Panicked) “NO! I want to stay with you!”

C: “Baby, I’ll be fine, nothing a little ice won’t fix, it’s already starting to feel better. Don’t worry, Lexa will be here with me, anything I need she’ll get. Ok, my big girl? I’ll get you up and we’ll have pancakes for breakfast, hmm? Sound good?”

M: (Grumble) “Fiiiiine.”

Clarke smiles small and kisses her daughter on the temple before untangling them. “Goodnight, I love you.”. “Love you too momma.”, Madi hops off the bed and starts walking to her room, Lexa is frozen in half-shock and half-hesitant nervousness. “Go tuck her in Lex.”, the gentle order makes her feet finally move.

\-----------------------------------------------------

Lexa walks into the spare bedroom, Madi is just climbing into bed. She hesitantly walks to her and sits on the edge of the bed. “What happened?”, it’s a simple question really, but Lexa’s mask can’t hold back the pained expression contorting her eyebrows and tensing her jaw. What could she say but the truth? “I honestly am not completely sure. But… When I do, I’ll tell you, ok?”. Madi offers up her pinky finger, eyes with such innocence, “Promise?”. Lexa hooks their little fingers together in the sacred pact, “I promise.”.

“Can you read to me till I fall asleep? That book we started today.”, the girl requests. Lexa doesn’t know what to do, “Ah, let me get my phone, be right back.”.

Reentering her room, she reverts to taking steady slow steps.

L: “Ummm, Madi asked me to read that new story to her. Um, can I?”

C: “Of course. She’ll like that.”

Lexa nods and walks the same pace to her side of the bed, grabbing her phone and journeying back to the object of her current purpose. She sits on the bed and begins to read aloud, twenty minutes later she kisses the sleeping girl on the forehead and whispers an apology.

Clarke is in the same position when she comes back, the only difference being a pillow in between her knees, and she is more in the middle of the bed. She stands there in misery just watching the magnificent creature breathe in and out. She thinks she’s asleep until a pale hand taps the bed in front of her in invitation. “Lay down with me, you must be exhausted too.”.

L: (Small) “I hurt you. I don’t know what happened, I woke up an I was there an you were scared of me an hurt an I-I… What did I do?”

C: (Soft) “You weren’t in control of yourself. We will figure it out in the morning, but for now… Lay down with me.”

L: (Disheartened) “I don’t want to hurt you again.”

C: “You won’t, next time I think something is wrong with you I’ll yell or slap you awake. *Joke doesn’t land well* Love, please, it’ll make me feel better. Come on.” *Taps bed again*

Lexa relents and crawls up the bed to lay on her side facing the injured blonde. Clarke takes the hand that was holding the ice pack and places it on the brunette’s waist, “Closer.”. Getting her to shuffle forward, they lay with connected foreheads and intermingled breaths. “I’m so sorry Clarke.”. “I know you are.”, with those final words, she kisses her on the corner of her lips and gives in to her adrenaline crash. Lexa doesn’t fall asleep until it’s daylight. Clarke wakes up shortly before that pretending to stay asleep, only getting up when she hears the slow even paced breathing of her girlfriend.

\-----------------------------------------------------

She wakes to a pleasant aroma of food cooking. Rolling out of bed half-awake she hobbles down the stairs to find her beautiful lover in front of the stove, spatula in hand. Walking over with a grin of thankfulness to the universe for her providence, she hugs the blonde from behind and presses kisses to the side of her neck. After the fourth kiss she recognizes Clarke is tense and everything from hours before comes back like a knee in the chest. She lets go and fumbles into the counter behind her, the joy felt just minutes ago replaced with horror.

Clarke puts down the spatula and moves the pan filled with batter to a cold burner, she turns around and walks over knowingly. Grabbing the brunette by the face, she speaks with firm certainty, “You just pressed up against my bruise is all, I… Am… Not… Scared of you. *Pecked kiss* Good morning.”. Taking her hand, she leads her to the dining table and has her sit taking the seat next to her and opening the laptop. A page was already open on the screen and Clarke went on a recap of her findings.

C: “You were standing there mute and when I tried to talk to you, you pushed me hard. I’m guessing you were dreaming about Titus? *Receives a sad nod nodding in return* Your medication kicked in and caused you to act out your nightmares. It’s really rare but it happens. Good news is you haven’t been taking it long so not only can you stop taking it immediately without shocking your system and seizing, you shouldn’t have any permanent change to your neurological or biological system.”

L: “So not taking it anymore will prevent me from… prevent last night again?”

C: “Yes. *Sees Lexa visibly relax* Bad news is, we’re back to square one. Which brings me to something I’d like you to try.”

L: “I don’t want to do medications anymore; I’d rather wake up screaming everyday than to hurt you again.”

C: “This isn’t-”

M: (Angry) “You hurt momma!?!”

Green and blue snap to hazel, Lexa slumps in depression again and Clarke mumbles a curse to herself. The mother recognizes the severity of the situation, this could be a make or break moment and decides to squash this right now. “Madds, my love, come.”, the mother pats her lap. She lifts the girl up wincing slightly and plops her on her lap facing her, having the girl’s back rest against the edge of the table.

C: “First off, good morning baby. *Kisses her cheek* Alright, remember how you wanted to help Lexa with her night problem and how you told me it scared you? *Nod* Well, Lexa _hated_ that she scares you when she wakes up upset so she went to see a doctor about it. The doctor gave her medicine, and Lexa… had an allergic reaction to it… last night. It caused her brain to think she was in her nightmares and while she was sleeping, her body reenacted her dream. She was asleep and _not_ in control of herself, her brain told her body she was endanger and it forced her to push me away.”

Lexa sat dejected and ashamed in her seat the entire time. Madi seemed to comprehend what her mother was telling her and leaned in to whisper into the blonde’s ear “Lexa is sad. *Clarke nods and eyes the woman next to her with her head slumped* Can I give her a hug?”. The mother repeats her words from last night, “Of course. She’ll like that.”. Clarke picks her daughter up again and swings her over setting herself on Lexa’s lap. The shocked woman reflectively places her hands on the girl to keep her from falling off and supports the five-year-old. The girl throws her arms around the older brunette’s neck and hugs her hard. The even more shocked woman freezes like a statue for a second or two and then hugs the girl back letting out a long slow exhale she didn’t know she was holding.

L: (Whispers) “I’m sorry.”

M: (Whispers) “I know.”

\-----------------------------------------------------

\--Did this make you feel? If so, explain what it was. Comment it or email it. Go in to as much detail as you want. Did it cause you to remember something? Someone? Something about you? Feel free to be completely open and honest, we are after all complete strangers. Your secrets are always safe with me.--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY QUOTE OF THE DAY:  
> “Oh, I’m no good at this stuff. So, instead of telling you the reasons that I love you, I’m going to tell you the reasons that I don’t. I don’t love you because you’re smart and kind. I don’t love you because you’re hardworking and competitive and way too defensive.  
> I don’t love you because you’re incredibly sexy. I love you because you’re my best friend and I want to grow old with you. And right now, I am confused about every single thing in my life, except you.”  
> -“Jane the Virgin”
> 
> [FUN FACT: In 2015, Gina Rodriguez won a Golden Globe for her role as Jane on “Jane the Virgin”. It was not only the first Golden Globe win for the beautifully talented actress, but also the first time for Jane the Virgin‘s network The CW to win a major award at either the Globes or Emmys. I love her so much, one of my favorite actors.]  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> And there is Ch 26 I hope you liked it! 
> 
> Tell me what you think, I love comments so please go ahead and share your thoughts! 
> 
> \--I can’t believe “Jane the Virgin” is over. Any of you, my loved readers, watched the show? What was your favorite scene, funniest scene, and what did you think of the series finale?--
> 
> \--I have a week off and the next three months are relatively less hectic, SO you MAY expect faster updates. Or maybe one a week with me have chapters pile up… That way you’ll have a guaranteed update for a long while… Idk, which would you prefer?--
> 
> 8/6/2019


	27. A Unique Kind Of Fever With An Unfortunate Cure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY EMAIL: Tayqueendom@Gmail.com  
> For anyone to use for fic-Art or personal messages/if you need a pen pal/whatever really (Don’t be creepy though).
> 
> / L: Lexa / C: Clarke / M: Madi /  
> / R: Raven / A: Anya / O: Octavia /  
> / Mc: Marcus / Ca: Callie /  
> / I: Indra / G: Gustus /  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> CHAPTER SUMMARY: Give me a summary please.

Ca: *Clicking* “Hello?”

C: “Hey Callie, how’s your day going? What trouble is Marcus getting in to?”

Ca: “Clarke! Hey hun, I’m so glad you called. It’s been ok so far, had a long day at the office yesterday and enjoying my day off. Marcus is baking a cheesecake and is making a big mess…” (Background) “…that he _WILL_ be cleaning up.”

Mc: (Background) “I WILL!”

Ca: “That he will. What about you darling? How’s Madi and Lexa doing?”

C: “Oh, they’re ok, I’m ok. But uh so-”

Ca: “Oh no, what happened.”

C: “Eh… Lexa had a negative reaction to her new medication a few days ago and attacked me in her sleep… It was a whole thing, I was scared of her for a bit, Madi cried when she saw me crumpled in the bathtub, she thought Lexa was abusive for a second, and Lexa… Lexa hasn’t been the same since.”

Ca: (Sad) “Oh honey T-”

C: (Sorrowful-anger) “She refuses to sleep with me… And I don’t just mean sex. She literally turned a guest bedroom doorknob backwards and has me lock her in at night until the medication is ‘one-hundred percent out of her system’. And she begged me to have Madi sleep with me in our room so she’s not in the next room to where she’s sleeping. She calls me every night and reminds me to lock my bedroom door ‘just in case’. AND! *Breathes deep* She screams and wakes up in a panic and won’t let me come in to comfort her. If I try to come in anyway, she holds the door closed until I give up and leave. She’s… *Sighs* She won’t stop _living_ a nightmare, won’t stop punishing herself for something she had _no_ control over.”

Ca: (Second hand pain) “Jesus… And how are you honey? How bad did you get hurt?”

C: (Sad) “………… I just have some fading bruises, I’m fine.”

Ca: (Concerned) “Claaaarke… No, you’re not, talk to me.”

C: “I can’t, not to you, and I can’t talk to Lexa, she’s distraught and hating herself as it is.”

Ca: (Guilty sadness) “So it has to do with Finn… I’m so sorry darling. My son is not a good man and… and you can’t imagine how sorry I am for that and all he’s done. As for Lexa, that is precisely why she’s there, to be with you and to _know_ you. Talking to her _may_ hurt her but not talking to her _is_ hurting you and _Is_ , or _will_ , hurt your relationship.”

C: *Sniffs* “Yeah… I’ll try to talk to her. *Couple of seconds of silence* Anyway, *Sniff* I was wondering if Friday night we can come over and drop Madi off and we’ll pick her up Sunday morning. I’m having Lexa try something new and it’s better if she’s out of the house. It’s more immediate than traditional medications in reaction time so at least we’ll know then and there if it has a negative effect on her.”

Ca: (Trying to be chipper) “That’s always fine, I’ll take any time with my grandbaby. Can you come over for dinner that day? We haven’t done that in a long time. Please! Oh, say yes.”

C: *Chuckles* “Yeah, I don’t see why not.”

Ca: (Excited) “Yay!”

Ca: “Oh crap, Marcus’s nephew is coming to dinner too.”

C: “Jasper?”

Ca: “Yup and his wife Maya. Is that ok?”

C: “Yeah, I haven’t seen him in forever.”

L: (Background) *Knock knock knock* “Hey, uh babe, uh Madi is asking for you.”

Ca: “Duty calls”

C: (Background) “One sec, love.”

C: “Yup. See you on Friday. Love you.”

Ca: “Love you too hun. Bye.”

C: “Bye.”

Phone call ends

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Friday Evening**

*DIIIIIING DOOOOONG DING-DONG DING-DONG DOOOOONG*

Lexa has her arms wrapped around Clarke and lays a kiss on her temple, “You look beautiful.”. The blonde was about to make the joke ‘Just tonight?’, but the door opened. They said the common pleasantries and were invited in. Callie and Marcus gave everyone, including Lexa, a hug; for Madi she got a kiss on each cheek too. “How’s my little munkin?”, Marcus asked in an overly excited gruff voice while he hugged her again picking her up. “Good. Lexa is helping me with learning self-defense. It’s so fun, she says I’m small and quick, which are both good things!”, the girl prides on. “Oh? Well that’s great, it’s important to know how to defend yourself.”, the grandfather is oblivious to the hint of sadness in Clarke’s and his wife’s eyes.

A skinny tall white man pops his head out from the living room and smiles.

Jasper(J):“Long time no see Griff! *Bear hugs Clarke* What has it been… two years? *Pulls away* Woow Madi, you’ve grown up. *Teases the girl’s hair* And who is this green-eyed goddess?”

C: *Laughs* “That is literally the first thing that crossed my mind when I first saw her. This is Lexa… _My_ green-eyed goddess. Lexa this is Jasper. *They shake hands* Where is Maya?”

J: “She’s in the living room with Lilly trying to get her to burp.”

C: *Gasp* “YOU BROUGT LILLY!”

Jasper smiles with pride and adoration as he gestures to the living room in wordless invitation to follow. All of them besides Marcus (He needed to check on dinner), walk into the entertainment room and lay eyes on the cutest baby – besides Madi – ever. _‘Ohhhhhh looooook at the little BABY!’_. Clarke’s heart felt like a hot air balloon at max pressure right before the pop. She looked at the infant’s mother and felt joyous envy. Maya offered up her hand as greeting and she took it and gave it a squeeze then took the seat next to her staring in awe at the tiny, rosy-faced, sleeping ball of love.

C: (Awed whisper) “God you guys, you make beautiful babies.”

Maya(My): “You want to hold her? I could use a break.”

Clarke nods in silent enthusiasm and holds out her arms eagerly. Maya rubs her shoulder and cracks her knuckles in unison with a relieved groan. The new mother notices a new face and holds out her hand, “And you must be?”. Lexa blinks out of her dream come true sitting in front of her on the couch and shakes the offered hand. It is with great effort she pulls her eyes away from Clarke with a baby and finds her voice she greets, “Oh, I-I’m Lexa, Clarke’s girlfriend.”. Maya seems to notice what’s happening, possibly from personal experience, and tests to see how bad it really is. “Wow, Clarke… You really snagged a beauty.”. All the enthralled blonde does is humming an affirmative, too captivated to truly acknowledge what was actually said to her and forming words.

 _‘Yuuuup… she’s done for.’_ , Maya thought in complete confidence of her assertion.

With one arm she held the infant, with the other she used the back of her index finger to caress a smooth soft chubby cheek. After that, she brought her hand higher and brushed the black fuzz on top of the baby’s head. _‘Always so fucking soft. How is it always so soft?’_. She started envisioning a baby boy with tiny curly Lexa hair and tiny charming soft green eyes. When she finally looks up, she doesn’t know how much time has passed. Madi is sitting Indian style on the carpet getting told stories from Maya and Jasper that are sitting next to the blonde on the couch. Marcus had come back, she doesn’t know when, and is sitting with Callie on an adjacent couch jumping in from time to time to tell a story or input a tidbit into an active story being told.

 _‘Where’s Lexa?’_.

Callie seems to notice her confusion and nods to the space behind her, _that_ makes her smile. Her goddess is sitting on the arm of the couch looking over her shoulder at the baby. The blonde shuffles back in her seat to be more parallel to Lexa and looks into the evergreen. When she does, the brunette’s eyes flick from Lilly to her and they get stuck on one another. Lexa holds the side of the blonde’s face; Clarke immediately kisses the palm of that hand. They mouth ‘I love yous’ to each other and Lexa leans down for a kiss with – not passion – but with the intimacy of the soul. When this snail slow kiss ended, they froze with their lips just touching and eyes closed, unable to bring themselves to break that contact just yet.

“-arke… Clarke…”, that broke their moment, and both women saw Jasper’s face filled with amusement and regret, “…Sorry to do this to you guys, but Lilly needs to go down for a nap, dinners being served, sooo…”. He reached down and expertly transferred the tired infant into his arms. He stopped by Maya to have her kiss the baby’s forehead and whisper her love, “You go on and eat sweetheart, I’ll join you as soon as I get her down.”, and with that, he lightly bounces and rocks out of the room.

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Three hours Later**

They stumble through the door, lips melding together, shirts fisted and hands tangling in hair to keep them as close as possible. Clarke kicks the door closed and walks Lexa into the nearest wall, she wastes no time ripping the front of her button-up open and moving her lips lower. She nips and sucks a line from the side of her goddess’s neck down the middle of her breasts and back up. Grabbing the backs of her thighs she hoists her up and encourages her to wrap her legs around. Clarke carries Lexa up the stairs stopping periodically to brace her against the wall or banister to kiss her deeply, suck on her tongue, or mark her neck when she can’t hold out any longer. Yes, reaching the bedroom took some time, but neither woman had the need to complain.

As it turns out, leaning two people’s body weight on a door your opening is a bad idea, the couple end up laughing on the ground.

C: (Breathless chuckling) “Oh, my love… Are you ok?”

L: (Grunted chuckling) “Son of a bitch, I fell on one of Madi’s toys. How did it even get in here?”

With the question being left unanswered, they fall into awkward silence. Clarke on top of her lover with her hands on either side of the woman’s head huffs and rolls off to sit next to her. Lexa sits up and depression and self-loathing retakes her mood and floods her mind. She stands and helps the brunette up getting her a shirt to wear since it was now ruined. “Come on.”, the blonde says as she goes to sit on the bed being followed shortly thereafter. She runs her hand through her hair while she picks a starting place, but Lexa beats her to it. “I’m sorry.”, she expresses for the millionth time.

C: (Mildly irritated) “For fucks sake Lexa! Please stop with that shit! _You had no control_ of yourself and I am _FINE_ … Please stop punishing yourself… please!”

L: (Outburst) “YOU WERE SCARED OF ME CLARKE! _ME_! I HURT YOU! YOU COWARD AWAY FROM ME AND FLINCHED! THEN YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO HURT MAD-”

C: (Frustrated and sad) “I WASN’T SCARED OF YOU! *Seconds of silence* At least not completely.”

L: (Ashamed) “I hurt you. I don’t deserve you. I’m sorry I can’t bring myself to leave you.”

 _‘What the fuck?’_. Clarke was for a loss of words, none of them could leave her mouth. The vision of a baby boy with tiny curly Lexa hair and tiny charming soft green eyes turned to static like an old television in a storm. Where do you go from that? “You’re apologizing for not being able to bring yourself to leave me…”, she said flabbergasted and offended, “…really?”. Clarke gets up off the bed making sure her phone was in her pocket and grabbing the car keys out of another one.

C: (Angry) “We are basically living together, allot of my stuff is already here. The rest of mine and Madi’s stuff was going to be moved soon. *Starts to cry* I was ready to have A BABY WITH YOU! And you’re sorry you can’t leave? I’M SORRY IT’S SO DIFFICULT FOR YOU TO STAY! YOU KNOW WHAT? LET ME MAKE YOUR LIFE EASIER FOR YOU! I’ll be back to get my stuff. I'm glad I don't have all of my shit here.”

Lexa just sits there as the love of her life leaves her life in anger. She sits there listening to the run down the stairs. She sits there when she hears the front door slam. She sits there hearing the car start and it driving farther and farther away. She sits there and feels her heart shatter, half of the pieces fly out of the window chasing that car to be with their owner.

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY QUOTE OF THE DAY:  
> “Never give up on someone. Sometimes the answers you are looking for are the same answers another person is looking for. Two people searching together are always better than one person alone.”  
> -Shannon L. Alder
> 
> [FUN FACT: Heartbreak isn't just a metaphor. Researchers at the University of Amsterdam studied what happens to us physically when we're rejected unexpectedly, and as it turns out, breakups actually affect the parasympathetic nervous system, which involves sexual arousal, digestion, and regulation of internal organs (like the heart). When study participants felt rejection, their heart rates slowed for a while. It was even more exaggerated when the rejection came from out of the blue, and it also happened if the participant feared the possibility.]  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> And there is Ch 27 I hope you liked it! 
> 
> Tell me what you think, I love comments so please go ahead and share your thoughts! 
> 
> \--I think I’m looking at shooting for updating every Sunday with a new chapter. If that doesn’t happen some week, well life happened. Congrats, that means two chapters this week.--
> 
> 8/11/2019


	28. Savior or false prophet?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY EMAIL: Tayqueendom@Gmail.com  
> For anyone to use for fic-Art or personal messages/if you need a pen pal/whatever really (Don’t be creepy though).
> 
> / L: Lexa / C: Clarke / M: Madi /  
> / R: Raven / A: Anya / O: Octavia /  
> / Mc: Marcus / Ca: Callie /  
> / I: Indra / G: Gustus /  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> CHAPTER SUMMARY: An immediate continuance. Lexa tries the new medicine.

**A Few Hours Later**

Lexa sits up in her bed when she hears the front door open and close, “Clarke?”. She walks downstairs and sees the beautiful blonde with red puffy eyes sitting on the couch taking off her jacket. “You came back.”, she states with surprise and relief both, sitting down on the other end of the couch. “I came back.”, the blonde echoed with a sad tone as she turns sideways and rest her feet on the brunette’s lap.

C: (Dejected) “You called her ‘our’ daughter… ‘OURS’. You want to have a baby with me. We are moving in together. Do you know what that means?”

L: (Guilt) “Clarke…-”

C: (Firm) “Do you know what that means?”

C: (Dejected) “It means you can’t just leave… You can’t… I… You stay and you talk it out, you work on it. Fuck, you try at the very least! And make no mistake about it, I might have been the one walking away, but you were the one leaving. You are letting the guilt of something you did when you were unconscious, let you shut down. You stopped communicating. You stopped sharing your feelings. You stopped sleeping with me. You stopped having sex with me. You know how much I depend on physical intimacy as a sign of love, and I know how fucked up that is, I know its unhealthy, but that’s how I am. To me, it feels like you stopped loving me, you threw us away. And of course, you don’t owe me sex or that you should fuck me when you don’t want to; it’s not a job you have to go through or a box to check. But – damn it – it’s just that… *Eying the side of the brunette’s head* You told me once that I didn’t need to have sex with you to keep you… Well the first time we stop, you check out! And here we fucking are, a few steps away from the abyss.”

Lexa sat there and listened and grew more and more guilty. Clarke was right on a lot of things; she had emotionally closed herself off and put Clarke in a position to carry their relationship by herself. She had closed herself off from intimacy without thought of how Clarke would take it.

C: “I’m going to tell you something I’ve been wanting to talk about with you. I couldn’t talk to Callie about it and I don’t want to talk to Raven or O about it. Callie told me I need to talk to you, that it is your place to know me and to be there when I need to vent and she’s right. It may hurt you and me to hear it, but I need to get it out.”

She takes a deep breath in and a long breath out looking at her hand on the back of the couch. “When I hit the wall, I had a flashback back to that night.”. The brunette looked up from staring at the chipped edge of the coffee table. “There was a split second I saw Finn’s face an inch from mine, I felt his hand squeezing my neck, my head felt the same as when he slammed it into the wall.”. Lexa’s eyes fell to lock on Clarke’s knees in shame. “And then I came to a little and I saw your face… you were… shocked. I was so confused; I couldn’t believe you had just hurt me like he did. The Madi thing… I was fine for a second and then when I asked you to get her out of the tub, you rushed at her. My mind saw Finn getting closer and closer to Madi’s crib, and my body reacted. *Seconds of silence* Lex, look at me.”. Their eyes met, blues connected to a thin waterfall and greens covered with a motionless sheet of moisture.

“I didn’t believe it. That is not you, I knew that in my heart.”. Clarke moves forward tucking her legs into sitting next to Lexa, her knees touching the side of the brunette’s thigh. In a heartbeat the tan face is grabbed by pale hands, eyes never straying. “I want you back. I want you to see _me_ when you look at me, _not_ the bruise you left on my body. I’ve heard your apologies, and although I don’t need them, I accept them. You need to forgive yourself, but If you need someone to forgive you first, then I am giving that to you.”. She pulls her face close, noses bumping softly, “I forgive you. Please come back to me.”. Lexa closes the minute space between them and connects their lips. It was gentle and tender, it was another apology, but this time, it was craved and gladly excepted.

Clarke pulls Lexa with her by the front of her fisted shirt as she lays down on the couch. She feels a missing element; her goddess is still not ready and pulls away. When her lover tries to follow her lips, she turns her head away for the time it takes for Lexa to pull back quickly. She caresses the tan cheek and brushes her lightly swollen lips with her thumb, “I want you to want it too.”. They share a whisper of a kiss and both sit back up. “It’s late, lets go over the oil and see if it works.”. Lexa nods in acceptance and offers up her hand which is taken with relieved smile.

They walk into their bedroom and change into pajamas. While Lexa sits on the side of bed, Clarke fetches the bottle of CBD oil from her hidey-hole and the laptop before mimicking her girlfriend. Opening the computer and pulling up a website from her history, she starts, “Alright, when I looked this up it said a drop under the tongue – to start with – before bed, should *Reads from site* slow down your brain’s overactive neurons and let you hit REM sleep without compulsive dreams from your PTSD. *Looks at Lexa* If it doesn’t work, we can try two drops, it might take a bit to get the dosage right. Good thing is, you can’t overdose, it can’t kill you, it’s non-addictive, and you can stop taking it at any time cold turkey without permanent damage or seizing.". She sees her lover is a little overwhelmed and continues hoping to lighten it. “Bad news, there is little to no THC in it so unfortunately, you won’t get very high if at all.”, she gets a small smile from that and returns it.

Lexa nods and takes the bottle putting it on the nightstand, “Lay down beautiful.”, she lifts the sheet and comforter. The blonde follows the kind command in confusion, when she is under the blankets, Lexa lays down next to her on top of the comforter and big spoons her. Clarke blindly searches for a hand with long slender fingers, once she finds it, she interlocks their fingers and – after kissing her lover’s hand – curls their joined hands under her dimpled chin. Being relaxed tenfold after a couple minutes, Lexa begins to murmur, “I love you… so, so much. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, you are the love of my life. *Kiss on cheek* Don’t ever doubt that. You and Madi are my world.”. Clarke turns slightly and gives her girlfriend a languid kiss in sleepy appreciation. The last thing she hears is that calming voice, “I’ll be here for awhile *Kiss on temple* sleep love.”.

When the blonde has been asleep for a bit Lexa looks at the clock and decides to get up seeing as it was near midnight. She carefully untangles herself from her lover and takes the oil with her on the way out, locking the door behind her. A quiet walk down the hall and she finds herself in the bedroom she’s slept in for the past few days. After a long breath out she turns the inner knob and shuts the door, effectively locking herself in. Getting settled in she prays to whatever powers that be to have this work and to let this be over. Sticking out her tongue and dripping one drop of CBD oil, she immediately notices the weird taste. Smacking lips together a few times letting the taste dissipate, she turns out the light, closes her eyes and eventually sinks into oblivion.

\-----------------------------------------------------

L: (Whine and Grumble) _‘Ah! Why is it so bright!’_ “Claaaarrrrke. Why’d you open the blinds!?!”

C: (Amused) “How else was I supposed to wake you up? You don’t like me near you until you're awake and you’ve been asleep all morning.”

L: (Ruff) “Mmmmmm…… What time is it?”

C: “Almost eleven.”

Lexa rolls on to her back and blinks sleepily a few times at the ceiling confused.

L: “What?”

C: “It’s almost eleven o’clock my love. You might actually _need_ to set alarms now.”

When it finally dawns on her she shoots to a sitting position, “I missed my meeting! SHIT!”. Before she could untangle herself from the sheets Clarke is next to her putting her hands on her shoulders to stop her. “I called Anya and told her what’s been going on. She went in your place and everything went well, contracts signed, hands shook. You – sexy sleeping beauty – are taking a personal day. Why a meeting on Saturday morning? I don’t know but I forbid you from all things business.”, a chaste kiss and, “Good morning by the way, you almost missed it.”.

L: “I need to pee.”

Clarke laughs as Lexa jogs to the bathroom to relieve herself and walks to the kitchen.

L: “I’m starv-”

Upon entering the kitchen, she sees her girlfriend over the half wall at the dining table that’s sitting a healthy amount of breakfast food and freezes.

L: “-ing.”

Clarke laughs and continues to pour syrup on her waffles, “Yup that’s one of the side effects of CBD, your metabolism speeds up, making you hungry. You had the munchies while sleeping, now your body is pissed at you. Come on and eat.”. Walking to the table and taking a seat, she starts piling food on her plate, “Looks like someone did their research.”. The blonde gives her a ‘You know it’ look while chewing her sugary food. Lexa can’t stop the hum of contentment rumbling in her throat when she feels the warmth in her stomach replace the emptiness.

The phone vibrates on the wooden table, upon seeing the caller ID the blonde smiles that special smile and Lexa finds herself with one too knowing exactly who it is.

C: “Hello.”

M: (Excited) “Hey Momma! Is Lexa finally awake?”

C: *Chuckles* “Yes my love, I managed to get her out of bed and at the table. We’re eating a late breakfast.”

M: “Did the medicine work?”

C: “Would you like to ask her yourself?”

M: “Ok!”

[Speaker Phone]

L: “Good morning little warrior. What’s your question?”

M: “Hey Lexa! Did the medicine work?”

L: “So far little one, we’ll see if last night was a fluke or not, but I slept through the night which is great.”

M: “What does fluke mean?”

L: *Smiles* “Uh, it means happens on accident or a coincidence. Like… If I shoot an arrow and hit a bullseye, the next few times I shoot Its way off, the first shot was a fluke. Do you understand?”

M: “I think so.”

C: “What are you guys doing today?”

M: “Going to the fair.”

C & L: “Oh that’s gonna be fun!”

M: “Can you guys come with us?”

The mother swears she can hear the puppy dog eyes through the phone and looks at her girlfriend in question if she’s up for it. After receiving a happy nod, “Ok, my love. Give the phone to Grandma or grandpa for me, love you.”. Madi responds in kind and the two share cartoon kissing sounds. The two rush to shove fork-fulls of food and chew while they have time.

Mc: “Hey darling. Everything alright?”

C: “Hey Marcus *hurry up chewing*, yup every – *Swallows* - everything’s fine. I was wondering what time you guys are going to the fair. Me and Lex are gonna meet you there.”

Mc: “Beautiful! Umm, around two I think.”

Mc: (Background) “Honey, what time are we leaving?”

Ca: “Two.”

Mc: “Yup, two. At grounders park.”

C: (Muffled by eating) “Kay… Gonna *Swallows* finish breakfast right now. We’ll meet you guys there.

Mc: “Alright. See ya later.”

C: “Later.”

[Phone call ends]

Lexa shovels food in her mouth, “is is o ood abe, ank you!”. Clarke just laughs refills her glass of orange juice, “You *Kiss on temple* are so welcome.”.

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY QUOTES OF THE DAY:  
> “Marijuana has killed far fewer people than swimming pools; it’s the war against it that does all the violence.”  
> -Lawrence Reed  
> “I find it quite ironic that the most dangerous thing about weed is getting caught with it.”  
> -Bill Murray
> 
> [FUN FACT: Americans who favor legalization are most likely to point to the drug’s perceived medical benefits or to say it would free up law enforcement to focus on other types of crime; 86% and 70%, respectively, say these are very important reasons for their support, according to a Gallup survey conducted in spring 2019.  
> Among Americans who oppose marijuana legalization, 79% say a very important reason is that it would increase the number of car accidents involving drivers who use marijuana. Around seven-in-ten (69%) say a very important reason is that legalization would lead to more people using stronger and more addictive drugs. *Pew Research Center*]  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> And there is Ch 28 I hope you liked it! 
> 
> Tell me what you think, I love comments so please go ahead and share your thoughts! 
> 
> 8/18/2019


	29. Healing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY EMAIL: Tayqueendom@Gmail.com  
> For anyone to use for fic-Art or personal messages/if you need a pen pal/whatever really (Don’t be creepy though).
> 
> \--This is both late (From last week) and early (It's Saturday not Sunday because of the hurricane).
> 
> / L: Lexa / C: Clarke / M: Madi /  
> / R: Raven / A: Anya / O: Octavia /  
> / Mc: Marcus / Ca: Callie /  
> / I: Indra / G: Gustus /  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> CHAPTER SUMMARY: It’s a fair occasion to have fun. <\- (see what I did? Pun-pun-punny) Madi and Lexa time. THEN some Clarke and Lexa time.

Clarke is pacing back and forth while Lexa washes the dishes from their delicious breakfast. “No! It was the grey and blue piece with the woman in the foreground frowning. Artist is Bethany Frawn. Yes, Frawn… F-R-A-W-N!”. The blonde puts her hand over the mic and complains to her girlfriend before putting it back to her ear, “I swear these fucking people… Idiots the whole lot of em!”. “Yes I’m still here! I sold it for Fifty-five hundred………. You found it?... Halleluiah! Write down the mailing address of the buyer then wrap it and bring it to the back room…… yes…… Uhhuh…… Yup, and make sure the markers are the same and everything is in order…… Alright see you on Monday… Bye.”.

After hanging up she lets out a loud groan, “It’s Saturday! People should stop business with Friday!”. Lexa finishes adding detergent to the dishwasher, closing the lid and walking up to her grumpy blonde, she wraps her in a snug hug hearing a sigh of relief.

C: “I love your hugs.”

L: “I love hugging you.” *Kisses temple*

C: “You sure your up for the fair? I can make up something if you need the day.”

L: “No, I want to spend time with my girls. I feel fine. It’s been hours since I took it, no chance of it still effecting me.”  

C: *Sigh* “‘Your girls’ I like the sound of that.” *Kisses side of neck*

**\-----------------------------------------------------**

Engine shuts off with a pitiable roar, the two women get out of the car. When they reach the front of the car their hands absentmindedly intertwine. Clarke brings her sunglasses from her head to around her eyes and smirks when she sees Lexa stare as to say ‘Really? Why are you doing this to me?’. She answers with a sarcastic ‘SUFFER!’ in the form of a ruff kiss that ends with a lip bite. Lexa moans into it but then groans when it’s over all too soon, “You are evil.”, she whispers against the blonde’s lips.

M: (Yell) “Momma! Lexa!”

Clarke breaks away seemingly unfazed to greet her daughter leaving the overheated woman to try to gather herself together. “Hey, my love, how’d you sleep? What did you have for breakfast?”.

While Madi was answering, Lexa took deep breaths and walked over to them. The girl immediately wrapped her arms around her hips and pressed her ear to her lower stomach, “Lexa! How are you doing?”. She pats and brushes the girl’s head, “I’m ok my little warrior.”. When she is released, she drops to a knee and pokes her tummy, “How are you feeling? Excited for the rides?”. The little girl smiles wide and excitedly answers  with a simple energy-filled yes. She grabs both women’s hands and pulls them to her grandparents that were standing nearby.

Once the pleasantries and the update on the last fifteen hours was over, Lexa asked Madi where she wanted to go first. Marcus was easily nauseated so he held the backpack with water bottles while the women and girl went on the spinning teacups. Madi loved it when Lexa would spin the center table faster causing the cup to speed up its rotation.

After two rides, Madi still wanted a go and Callie and Clarke were not up for it again, naturally Lexa teased them and buddied up to the girl claiming they were stronger warriors before going again on the devil contraption. Clarke couldn’t help but smile and watch in adoration at her daughter and girlfriend walking hand and hand and then her picking the girl up and sitting her on the ride. She melted when both of them sat opposite one another, both grabbing the table and looking at each other with amusement poorly hidden with seriousness as they prepared to spin their cup as fast as possible. When the ride began the mother’s nerves started to pick up, _‘God she is going to throw up, I just know it.’_.

She calmed down after the ride slowed down to a halt, Lexa and Madi came back laughing with the girl on the woman’s shoulders, hands held to keep the balance.

M: “Momma, did you see how fast we were going?!?”

C: “Yes, my love! You guys were making me nauseas just looking at ya! You feel ok?”

M: “Mmhmm, I think so.”

C & L: “Do you want some water?”

Madi shook her head yes while our couple looked at one another having a moment. Marcus walked over, water bottle in hand for the little one stating he’ll be right back and that he’s going to the restroom. “Lexa, I can’t get it open.”, the girl lifts it up to the taller brunette and she takes it and twists off the cap and hands it back without thought. Clarke drops to a knee a few moments later, “You look red my love.”. She takes the water and pours a trickle on her daughter’s head; Lexa brushes her hand through the girl’s hair to spread the wetness around.

L: “Does that feel better?”

Madi nods and takes back the drink gulping down more. They spend the next hour going to many carnival games. They went to the shooting a water gun to fill as many balloons as possible, the how many pins can you knock down with a baseball, and the ‘how strong are you?’ hit a platform with a mallet, games.

“Can we go on the log now?”, the women sigh and agree, Clarke purposefully hangs back. The log was a hybrid ride, they sit in a hollowed out plastic log of wood and ride a few mountain and curves of metal railing. Then they’re plopped into water causing a surprise wave that had Lexa regretting taking her phone with her. It was a simple thing but just like the teacups, Madi loved it. They went once more and Lexa had Clarke hold her phone immediately after their first ride. By the end of three goes, it seemed they didn’t need to douse her from the water bottle earlier because the girl was soaked now; the older brunette didn’t fare much better.

C: “Ok, I think now is a good time to snack. You guys need to air dry for a bit.”

L: “I _completely_ agree.”

C: “I’m gonna grab us some corndogs or something, there is some towels *Points to backpack*  in the bag.”

Lexa sits on a nearby picnic bench and the two drink some water for a few minutes to wash out the taste of chlorine. She pulls out a beach towel motioning for the drenched girl to stand between her legs. She wraps the cloth around Madi and presses all around trying to soak up some moisture from her clothes. After she did as best she could, she brought it up to the child’s head and rubbed all over before squeezing the ends of the brown tresses. “Are you ok?”, a small voice barely makes it to her ears. She raises a confused eyebrow, “Yes, I’m fine, more than... I love going on rides and having fun with you, it’s been a good day. Why do you ask?”. She wipes the towel on Madi’s arms and legs as the girl responds with another question, “Do you like me?”. Lexa pauses is surprise, “Of course I do. I _love_ you.”. Madi looks unbelieving and hesitantly asks, “Promise?”. The older brunette hunches down to be level and looks her right in the eye sticking out her pinky finger, “I promise.”, she says in complete seriousness. The girl takes the finger with her little one and hooks them together as she softly mumbles, “I love you too.”. Lexa still heard it and smiles with a melting heart and slight disbelievement as she leans down and kisses the girl’s forehead. When she pulls back and glances up to see Clarke standing there carrying two hotdogs and two corndogs with held back tears in her eyes, she hopes she hasn’t overstepped.

The mother slowly walks back out of sight as she wants to let them have their moment for a bit longer and she wants to get a hold of herself. The blonde walks back a minute later and gives a happy “Ok, who’s hungry?!?”.

Halfway through eating Marcus and Callie find them and brought funnel cakes. When their snack break was finished it was decided that the Ferris wheel would be the fair finale. Clarke, Lexa, and a squished in between Madi, all got locked into their seat.

They move one up.

M: (Quiet) “Am I going home after this?”

C: “No, my love, remember I said we’d pick you up Sunday morning? Tomorrow’s Sunday.”

M: (Pout) “I want to go home.”

They move one up.

C: (Concerned)“Why did something happen at grandma and grandpas’?”

M: (Pout) “No………. I want to go home with you and Lexa.”

C: “Love…” *Looks at Lexa*

They move up again.

L: (Quiet) “I want to see what the medicine does one more time. Can you give me one more day? Pretty please?”

M: *Sigh* “Fiiiine…”

L: (Guilty) “I’m sorry.”

They reach the top

C: “Look at that view…”

The trio sat and admired the horizon of life, of glowing squares coming from shadowed structures, of black shapes of nature, and of the seem where the earth meets the sky.

They move down one.

C: “Hey, I finished painting your room this morning.”

M: (Perk up) “Really!”

L: “Mmhmm, I ordered you a new bed and bedding and a few furniture items and toys. They should arrive tomorrow morning.”

They move down again.

C: (Says more to herself) “I always forget your rich…”

All three laugh until they move down once more.

L:“ My charm outshines the wealth huh? Good to know.”

Clarke taps the back of her lover’s head, “Shut it dork.”. “Hey, you knew that when you met me, and besides I am _your_ dork.”. Lexa’s eyes meet those baby blues, “That you are. _My dork_.”. The two starts leaning in to kiss when little hand hold them apart by their chins, “Hey! What about me. She’s _our_ dork.”. They start fits of laughter again and once more descend and then hop off.

C: “You’re right, she’s _our_ dork.”

Lexa hasn’t smiled this hard since the sleep-attack incident.

\-----------------------------------------------------

Ca: “She slept the whole way home.”

C: *Smile* “I bet she did, it’s been a fun day.”

Ca: “You and Lexa seem happy.”

C: “She makes me happy.”

Ca: “I’m so glad honey. You deserve it.”

C: (Small) *Clears throat* “Thank you.”

Ca: “I love you honey.”

C: “Love you too.”

C & Ca: “Bye.”

(Phone call ends)

C: (Absentmindedly yells out) “I’m gonna take a shower babe.”

Clarke grabs a towel from the linen closet and walks into the master bathroom. There, she turns on the water half-way between warm and hot and then strips bare. She closes her eyes and lets the hot water run over the top of her head. A random memory pops into her mind and she smiles sighing out.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

**One Month Ago**

A man in a nice long sleeve shirt with a loosened tie and two open buttons sits down next to her. “A scotch on the rocks please.”, he says flagging down the bartender. “Can I buy a drink beautiful?”, she smirks at this and swivels to face him more. “No, I got my own.”, she lifts up her glass as to say ‘see’. The man smiles and rubs the scruff on his cheek, “Right, then can I buy you another?”. She adds a cocked eyebrow to her smirk and opened her mouth to respond. “You aren’t doing it right.” comes a familiar voice that makes her heart bloom. The voice comes from her goddess across the bar with those eyes carrying the temperature of the underworld flames.

Man: (Amused) “Is that right?”

Green eyed goddess: (Arrogant) *Smirk* “Yup…”

The bartender placed the alcoholic drink in front of the man.

Man: “You think you can do better?” (Mumbles under breath) “You’re not her _type_.”

The sexy woman gets up and struts to sit on the other side of her, she is now sandwiched between her and the stranger. “Hi, I’m Lexa. It is such a pleasure to meet you.”, she says in a tone of silk confidence extending out her hand. _‘God, how did I get so fucking lucky’_. She takes the hand and shakes as she responds in kind, “Hi, I’m Clarke.”. “Clarke…” she echoes causing shivers, “… Can I buy you a drink Clarke?”. The smirk permanently stuck on her face, “As I said to this fine gentleman, I already have a drink.”. “You’re right, would you like to buy me a drink?”. Clarke lets out a giggle, “You’re asking _me_ to buy _you_ a drink?”. Lexa’s eyes brighten at hearing that giggle, “God, you have such a beautiful laugh.”. She blushes at the compliment and gives a quiet “thank you.”. “But yes, I am asking, how else would I stay in your amazing company? I’m grasping at straws here.”, Clarke lets out another giggle. “Oh I know…”, the woman stands up and holds out her hand again, “…Can I at least have a dance? Can’t let that pretty dress go to waste, it’s not nearly as gorgeous as you but still...”.

She swivels in her chair to have her back against the counter, “God, you are such a dork.”, she chuckles. She grabs the hand and pulls the brunette to the dance floor. They start to sway side to side, “That may be Clarke, but I’m your dork.”, she whispers in her ear. She chuckles her agreement. “I leave you for two minutes to go to the bathroom and the vultures descend.”. Clarke speaks as she turns around leaning back onto Lexa losing her fingers and brown tresses, “Well haven’t you heard? I’m very attractive.”. “Sexy more like…”, Lexa mumbles feeling her temperature rise. The brunette moves her hair to one side and starts kissing up and down her neck as she grinds her ass into her. She turns back around with a hotly look and challenges, “I’m sexy? Prove it.”. Lexa grabs onto the blonde’s hips and sways side to side slowly backing her off the dance floor and stopping when they hit a wall. “My pleasure.”.

Lexa crashes their lips together causing them both to hum in satisfaction. Her tongue slips past the blonde’s lips to dance with hers. Tan hands run up Clarke’s sides and cup her breasts through her dress surprising her and thrilling her. In return she grabs ahold of the brunette’s ass squeezing and pressing their cores together as she lifts one of her legs to bracket the woman’s hip. Lexa pulls back, “Ok, Ok… *Deep breath* Your dress is ridding up. Let’s go home. Now.”

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Her hand traveled down somewhere at the beginning of the dancing and moved with purpose. She was kicked out of her daydream when a pair of arms wrapped around her middle cupping together at her bellybutton and she feels the press of hard nipples against her back; she froze in embarrassment. “Don’t stop on my account.”, her mouth was sucking and nipping along her neck and ear.

Lexa grabbed her wrist and got it moving again, “Keep going.”, she ordered in that tingle causing tone. When the blonde was moving by herself, she moved her hands north to squeeze her breasts, never stopping what her mouth was doing. Pulling her nipples caused a loud moan that had her thankful Madi wasn’t here. She played with her squeezing and pulling just right only stopping when she realized Clarke had too. A husky voice filled the room, “I like it better when you do it.”. With a smirk she bites the panting woman’s ear causing a cry, “Is that right? Your wish is my command.”.

She takes the place Clarke’s hand was just at and starts to rub just hard enough to cause pleasure but not enough to get _there_ or to wash the slick off. Clarke had one hand on the wall in front of her and one reaching back to grab on to her girlfriend’s buttcheek.

C: (Panting) “Lex… Please…”                           

L: “Please what Clarke?”

C: “Please *Moans* make me cum.”

One second there are pleas, the next Lexa turns Clarke around and drops to her knees diving in. “LEXA!.......*Whines*  FUCK!”, the blonde’s head and shoulder blades are flush with the cold tile wall as her hips arch out. One leg on the tub floor, one hooked on Lexa’s shoulder pressing her in, and both hands trying not to rip hair out of her lover’s head.  One particular hard tug on that hair had the brunette moan sending the vibrations on her clit, “OH, God!”.

Lexa softly bites Clarkes clit and soothes it with her tongue, a few flicks later and the blonde screams out stilling. She goes down a little and drinks the sweet saltiness, her tongue being massaged by the tight ring of muscles. Eventually she flattened her tongue and licked from bottom to top and stood up right making sure to not let her lover fall. Clarke moans at the taste of herself when she’s brought into a sloppy kiss.

When they exit the shower, Lexa wraps a towel around the blonde and another she runs through her yellow hair. When she deems the hair dry enough, she uses that towel to dry herself. They both brush their teeth side by side and get dressed in their bedroom in pajamas. Once again they spoon in bed, Clarke under the sheets and Lexa over. “You’re not gonna let me touch you are you?”, a disappointed voice disrupts their calm. The brunette takes their joined hands and cups her cheek with her girlfriend’s hand. “You know what I mean Lex.”, Clarke turns her head and kisses her with sadness and passion. Lexa pulls away looking into cerulean eyes, “Soon, I promise. I’m sorry.” Clarke shakes her head and pulls her into a short soothing kiss, “Don’t apologize for not being ready. We take our own time… I love you.”. “I love you too.”, they snuggle close and she waits for the blonde to fall asleep.

She goes through her door locking routine and takes a drop of CBD oil under her tongue before dozing off with hope.

\-----------------------------------------------------

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

**The rest of that flashback scene if you care…**

**One Month Ago**

Lexa pulls back, “Ok, Ok… *Deep breath* Your dress is ridding up. Let’s go home. Now.” “Wh-what about Ray and Anya?”. Lexa bites Clarke’s lip, “They can find their own way home. If we don’t leave now, I’m taking you in the bathroom.”. The blonde waste no time in dragging her lover out, the man watches in embarrassment and thinks he’s learned some new tricks that will get him slapped in the future.

R: (Faux sickened) “God, they are so gross!”

A: (Amused) “My sister’s got game what can I tell you.”

R: “Want to get out of here?”

A: “Fuck yes!”

The man didn’t go home with anyone that night.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY QUOTES OF THE DAY:  
> “I want painful, difficult, devastating, life-changing, extraordinary love. Don’t you want that, too?”  
> -Olivia Pope (Scandal)  
> “Look at me. Something’s wrong. Something bad has happened to you. Something terrible. You don’t hide that from me. You don’t lie about it to me. You give it to me. You let me share it. I love you. You are my heart. What happens to you happens to me.”  
> -Abby (Scandal)  
> "I am not the girl the guy gets at the end of the movie. I am not a fantasy. If you want me, earn me!”  
> -Olivia Pope (Scandal)  
> [FUN FACT: Olivia Pope is based on Judy Smith, George H. W. Bush's special assistant and deputy press secretary and a crisis manager during Bill Clinton's Monica Lewinksy scandal. Kerry Washington became the first African American female lead in a broadcast network drama since Teresa Graves played an undercover cop in Get Christie Love! (1974-1975), also on ABC. When Selma director Ava DuVernay directed the season three installment "Vermont is for Lovers, Too," it was the first time a show created by a black woman, starring a black woman, and directed by a black woman ran on one of the Big Three networks.]  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> And there is Ch 29 I hope you liked it! 
> 
> Tell me what you think, I love comments so please go ahead and share your thoughts! 
> 
> \--I live in Florida USA and am evacuating for the hurricane that is predicated to be a direct hit to where I live. Don’t know when I’ll be able to update next.--
> 
> \--Any Scandal fans in the house?--
> 
> 8/31/2019


	30. New Ability

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY EMAIL: Tayqueendom@Gmail.com  
> For anyone to use for fic-Art or personal messages/if you need a pen pal/whatever really (Don’t be creepy though).
> 
> / L: Lexa / C: Clarke / M: Madi /  
> / R: Raven / A: Anya / O: Octavia /  
> / Mc: Marcus / Ca: Callie /  
> / I: Indra / G: Gustus /  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> CHAPTER SUMMARY: Lexa experiences something new and ITS MADI’S BIRTHDAY!

\--FYI I am not anti-medication or anti-pills, it’s just a coincidence that the characters in my story has and will have a problem towards it. I do however think that there are many harmful medications that can be replaced with cannabis and that is an incredibly healthy choice.--

 

 

**Two Weeks later**

“Damn it Clarke! Why!?”, she grumbles as she pulls a pillow over her face groaning in displeasure. Hearing a low, fail to hold back laugh, made her lift her head up and squint at the blonde. _‘You are lucky, you are so beautiful it hurts.’_ , “You are lucky you are so beautiful it hurts.”. Clarke slowly walks to the bed and climbs on the bed to bracket her hips with her shins and thighs. “Such a sweet talker.”, fingertips graze her through her underwear a few times before dipping in. “God… so-so wet.”, she hears those husked words followed by a hum of arousal as she tilts her head back and starts to breathe harder. “Clarke… more…”, she barely gets out before those fingers enter her fast and start pumping, curling at the _perfect_ time _every time_. She feels hot breath in her ear, “Cum all over my fingers Lex, you know you want to.”, the blonde whispers. She moans loud feeling her stomach tighten, _‘So close.’_ , “Oh Cl-”.

“-arke!”, she shoots up in bed a little disoriented. The door is closed, she is in one of the guest bedrooms and Clarke is sitting on the left corner of the bed watching her with interest.

C: (Low tone) “Looks like you finally had a dream again.”

Lexa sits there dumbfounded, sweaty, and lightly panting with a racing heart. Clarke stands up and circles the bed to sit next to her.

C: “But… not a nightmare.”

The blonde cups her cheek brushing her lips with her thumb, she then moves her hand down to her breast feeling the rapid thump under her palm.

C: “A good dream, I think…”

Lexa sees the blackness grow bigger and bigger, taking the space of the blue. With the memory of her dream still fresh, she grows bold and unintentionally mean. Lexa takes her lovers hand from her chest and moves it into her sleeping shorts causing the blonde to groan with need, “A very good dream.”, she hoarsely lets out and softly moans. She cups the back of Clarke’s neck bringing her closer to jolt their lips together. She lays down taking her girlfriend with her, the hand in her pants begins to move against her bundle of nerves then move lower and starts to en…

*Knock Knock Knock*

M: “Momma? Lexa?”

Clarke jumps and immediately takes back her hand, “We’ll be out in a sec, my love!”. The blonde goes to the joining bathroom and washes her hands before leaving the room without a word. Lexa lays there for a few more minutes and silently masturbates, releasing with an open mouth and no sound. She too goes to the bathroom and quickly washes up to join her family at the breakfast table.

L: “Good morning.”

M: “Morning Lexa.”

Clarke doesn’t respond as she puts food on Madi’s plate before continuing with her own. The older brunette sits down awkwardly, picks up and fills her plate, and focuses too hard on mindlessly eating while staring down at a interesting little nick in the table. It has been two weeks; the couple have not had sex with each other. Lexa still continues her nightly big spooning and leaving to lock herself away. Madi has finally moved into her newly painted and furnished bedroom, she absolutely loved it. As Clarke loves to point out, ‘we go at our own timeline, and no one else’s.’, well their time without mutual physical intimacy continues to grow without an end in sight; specifically, Lexa being a receiver, much to the blonde’s uncontrollable frustration.

The blonde gets up after eating and puts her plate in the dishwasher. She kisses her daughter on the crown of her head. “Momma has a early meeting this morning, Lexa is taking you to school. Kay my love?”, the mother receives a nod as Madi continues to shovel food in her mouth and kisses her once more whispering a ‘I love you’. Clarke puts her shoes on and ties her hair up and grabs her phone and wallet, eventually rushing out the front door keys in hand.

Lexa just sits there growing ashamed, _‘She didn’t give me a goodbye kiss.’_. When she finally looks across the table from her stewing, Madi is staring at her with sad eyes. The woman quickly places her mask on and gets up to clear the table, filling and starting the dishwasher after softly asking the five year old to get dressed in what was already laid out on her bed.

L: (Calls out) “Ready to go?”

M: (Calls back) “Yes!”

The girl walks in look adorable in her outfit complete with a ‘birthday girl’ plastic crown. The girl’s sixth birthday was Saturday but since today was the last day of school for the week, she wanted to let everyone know how special she was, today. Apparently the party invitations Clarke sent out was not enough to let everyone know whose big day it was.

L: “Alright my little warrior, clothes check. Backpack…

M: *Grabs said pack* “Check.”

L: “Shoes… *Looks down further* Check. Lunch…”

M: “Eh, nope.”

Lexa walks to the fridge and finds Madi’s lunch box front and center with a stick note on it in her lover’s handwriting.

_Check!!! Love you Madi have a great day my soon to be birthday girl! Love you Lexa have a great day at the office! XOXO_

Lexa cleared her throat and said an over enthused fake “CHECK!” complete with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “Alright, that’s everything… uh, lets get going love.”. The two walk out the front door and start their short trek to school, Lexa making sure to always have Madi’s hand in hers.

\-----------------------------------------------------

**That Night**

Our couple is getting ready for bed, Clarke applying lotion to her legs as Lexa pulls on her sleeping shorts after getting out of the shower and drying herself.

C: “How was work?”

L: *Smiles broad* “Good, we stole a contract from Mountain Tech, they were not happy.”

C: *Catches a smile* “Proud of you babe.”

Lexa leaves the room and Clarke sits there confused and disappointed, _‘She didn’t cuddle me first.’_. A few minutes later when Clarke has turned off all the lights besides a side table lamp and is getting into bed, the brunette reenters the room, with her book, phone, and CBD oil. She had just striped the guest bedroom bed bare, through the sheets in the washer, and tidied up the room. Lexa puts her things on her nightstand and settles on the bed underneath the covers. The blonde sits there watching as the woman drops some oil under her tongue, “What are you doing?”. “Going to bed.”, she replied simply, as she fluffed up her pillows and laid supine getting comfortable. “Are you – Are you sleeping in here tonight?”. When the blonde receives and small smiled nod she breaks out in a huge grin and throws her leg over and settles her whole body over, her girlfriend, hugging her hard. Clarke starts laying kisses on the brunette’s neck but stops quickly herself and settles herself down, not wanting to push too far, and cuddles into Lexa’s side; leg and arm resting atop the brunette.

L: “I’m sorry about this morning. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

C: “You didn’t. I’m sorry… You _finally_ let me touch you and then we got interrupted, I didn’t’ want to snap at anyone unjustly, so I didn’t talk at all. I promise, you didn’t make me uncomfortable in any way.”

L: “That was the first good dream I’ve had since I could remember… *Clears throat* And the first sex dream I’ve ever had.”

C: “I’m glad I could be of service…”

L: “I hope it’s not a sign that the medication is weakening.”

C: “I don’t think so, but you could always up it to two drops if you need.”

A few moments

C: (Quiet) “I’m so happy you’re here.”

L: “Me too.”

C: “You’ll be here when I wake up?”

Lexa holds Clarke tighter and kisses her temple, “I will be here when you wake up, promise. I love you.”.

C: (Sleepy) “I love you too”

\-----------------------------------------------------

C: “Wake up. Lexa, wake up!”

L: “Wha- hmm?”

C: “Get up! It’s time!”

L: “Ugh…. *Smacks lips together a few times* Time for what?”

She opens her eyes and sees the love of her life hovering above her with a smile that she wants to wake up to for the rest of her life. “It’s time to wake up Madi.”, and now she’s smiling too.

The two go into the little girl’s room and get on either side of her in bed. Lexa was told what the tradition was a while ago and the mother wanted to do it with her this year. Clarke counted mutly on her fingers 1…2…3… and they both started singing in a whisper, “Happy birthday baby girl, happy birthday baby girl…”. A smile started to spread across the child’s face, but her eyes remained closed, “…You’re six years old now. You’re growing so big now…”. Sleepy hazels are visible and the two grow louder, “…I love you my munchkin. HAAAAAPYYY BIRTHDAY BABYGIIIIRRRRRRRRL.”. The mother pressed a kiss to the girl’s cheek, then Lexa pressed another to the opposite one; they go back and forth reaching three kisses from each then they both kiss a cheek at the same time saying, “And ONE for good luck.”.

C: “Happy birthday my love.”

M: “Mmm special pancakes?”

C: *Giggle* “Yes I’m just about to make em.”

L: “And while Mamma is doing that, weeeee drumroll please.”

Clarke and Lexa both make motor sounds and slap the bed really fast. “Are gonna look at puppy breeds!”. Madi’s eyes widen and light up, “REALLY!!!!”. When Clarke nods she hugs her hard and kisses her mother on the cheek repeatedly thanking her over and over. “Hey, it’s Lexa’s idea too.”, this causes the girl to repeat the kisses and ‘thank yous’ to Lexa making everyone laugh.

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY QUOTE OF THE DAY:  
> “We all make mistakes, don't we? But if you can't forgive yourself, you'll always be an exile in your own life.”  
> -Curtis Sittenfeld
> 
> [FUN FACT: Since you last celebrated your birthday till the time you celebrate your next birthday, your nails will grow by nearly 4 centimeters and your hair will grow by nearly 12 centimeters. This entire world would have experienced at least 50,000 earthquakes. AND, the whole world will have experienced a population growth of 76,570,430. Yes, that many new babies will be born!]  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> And there is Ch 30 I hope you liked it! The next chapter is going to continue in the kitchen looking at dogs. Just got tired and wanted to post today.
> 
> Tell me what you think, I love comments so please go ahead and share your thoughts! 
> 
> \--Well, we evacuated to a hotel in Kissimmee and the hurricane just swerved away, didn’t really affect the area I live in… It was a nice weekend vacation then I guess.--
> 
> 9/8/2019


	31. All The Planning In The World…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY EMAIL: Tayqueendom@Gmail.com  
> For anyone to use for fic-Art or personal messages/if you need a pen pal/whatever really (Don’t be creepy though).
> 
> \--Ok, this was difficult to write. That’s why it took so fucking long.--
> 
> / L: Lexa / C: Clarke / M: Madi /  
> / R: Raven / A: Anya / O: Octavia /  
> / Mc: Marcus / Ca: Callie /  
> / I: Indra / G: Gustus /  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> CHAPTER SUMMARY: It’s Madi’s BRITHDAY!!

\--FYI I am not anti-medication or anti-pills, it’s just a coincidence that the characters in my story has and will have a problem towards it. I do however think that there are many harmful medications that can be replaced with cannabis and that is an incredibly healthy choice.--

 

 

So, here was our family in the kitchen slash diner table rooms, Clarke was just halfway through  the pancake batter. Meanwhile, Lexa and Madi were in the living room with the laptop looking at types of dog breed and their usual personality traits to see what would work best for them.

L: “Pug?”

M: “Can we call him google?”

C: (Calling out from the kitchen) “No.”

M: “Then no.”

L: “Beagle?”

M: “Ma-”

C: “NO HOWELING DOGS!”

L: “No hounds……. Ah what about-”

Clarke walks into the kitchen with syrup tucked into the crook of her arm and holding two plates of with small towers of sweet softness waiting for surgery stickiness to be poured on them; Lexa immediately stood up to help the blonde carry things. These were Madi’s favorite, chocolate chips and a dusting of powdered sugar. You can imagine why this was a one a year type of pancakes. “Pick this up later, loves. The birthday girl’s special breakfast is served.”. The trio ate their breakfast with laughter and smiles. After Lexa did the dishes while Madi was given a bath they continued their search for the perfect puppy.

An hour later…

L: “German Shepherd uh…... ‘easy-going and approachable’…... ‘strong and protective’…… ‘highly intelligent and trainable breed’……”

M: “And so _cute_! That one, I want that one!”

C: “But they get really fucking _big_.”

M: “One-dollar momma!”

C: “Remind me later.”

L: (Amused) *Chuckles* “I still got eight dollars in credit, put her on my tab.”

M: “ _Seven_ now…”

L: “Anyway, they may be big, but I think it’s perfect. The back yard is fenced in, so we don’t need to walk him and if we ever do, I’ll do it till Madi’s old enough.”

C: “They’ll crap all over our yard, I didn’t think of that.”

L: “We can put a stake in the ground in one corner of the yard with a leash, keep the crap contained in one area.”

Clarke leaned over from her seat and gave Lexa a soft lingering kiss, and in an almost disbelieving tone she said - halfway in another world - “Always so smart… How did I get so lucky?”. Lexa felt her heart ache, she has made it her life’s mission to prove that Clarke is worth the moon and she is currently failing. She wanted to say something comforting, all she could think of was the cheesy line of ‘I’m the lucky one,’, even though it was true, that wasn’t what she needed to say in that moment. Before she could even process the correct words, Madi broke the world the two were in. “When can we get it!?!”. Clarke was pulled out of her sad rabbit hole and answered her daughter. “Let me make some calls to the shelters and pet stores.”.

\-----------------------------------------------------

It took close to two hours and a dozen phone calls, Clarke having to take a break to not throttle anyone, to find an age appropriate German shepherd puppy. The part that made Clarke the angriest was when some finally told her they had one and she looked the store up, it was right down the road and the closest store around.

The trio decided to walk there so that all three of them could give Madi’s puppy their first walk together, and hopefully empty them out before they get home to avoid accidents for the day. Abruptly the girl stops, forcing the adults that were holding her hands to stop as well.

C “What’s wrong love?”   L: “What’s wrong little one?”

M: “What’s wrong with them?”

The two look the where the child was pointing and saw a old homeless man with a small dog that was in terrible shape. The dog was visibly dirty, their tail had some sort of skin outbreak on it, and there were a few clumps of hair missing. It was hot out and the dog didn’t have its tongue out and wasn’t looking around; it was just laying with its head down clearly depressed. The mother’s instinct was to pull her daughter along and shield her from the hurtful sight, but the girl wouldn’t budge. “Madi… there’s nothing we can do, that’s his dog. We are almost to your birthday puppy, aren’t you exited to meet them?”.

Lexa knew that look, it was the same she saw on Clarke when there was nothing to be done but what she was thinking, pure determination. So, without a word the tall brunette walked away towards the old man sitting on the ground begging for nickels and dimes. “I will give you two hundred dollars cash right now if you give me your dog.”, she said in her business voice. The man laughed until he looked up and saw the serious and cold emerald eyes, “You can’t be serious!”. Lexa simply squatted down to be at eye-level with the stranger, “I’ll give you three if you shut up and nod your agreement.”. The man just nodded fast with wide eyes. She took out her wallet throwing the money at him and took off her outer shirt – leaving her in just a tank top – picking up the dog without touching them with her bare hands.

Walking back to her two girls, “Where is the nearest pet hospital?”. Clarke got out her phone and found one. Luckily it was also close by, the trio briskly walking to a near jog. The way there, the blonde was on the phone with the hospital telling them the story and having them get prepared for their arrival. When they rushed in, two people were waiting with dark purple latex gloves on immediately trading the animal for a clipboard with paperwork and disappeared. Lexa dropped the clip board on a chair, “I’m ah – I’m gonna go wash my hands. I’ll ah – be right back.”, she mumbled and walked away.

Meanwhile, Clarke noticed Madi had tears running down her cheeks and picked her up then sat down. “Hey baby, everything’s gonna be alright. They are going to try their very best to make that dog happy and healthy.”. When Lexa came back, she sat down and filled out the forms in silence.

Two and a half hours later a nurse comes to the trio informing them they can come back and wait with the unnamed dog if they wish. The brunette locked to the mother who was looking at her child for an answer. Madi was eager to lay eyes on the animal so they all walked back into a small room and there it was. A two-foot-long light brown fur baby with a black patch of fur on its right shoulder and one white paw. They washed him well, before, he looked to have almost entirely black fur. The poor thing had some sort of breathing apparatus around its snout and an IV inserted into its foreleg, it seemed to be sleeping.

C: “Shit… the party.”

L: “You guys go on I’ll meet you after I get everything sorted here.”

M: “NO! I don’t want to go! I want to stay here with the puppy!”

C: “My love…. All of your friends are expecting to come over and play with you.”

M: “I don’t care! I want to stay!”

C: *Breaths out in frustration* “Madi……… *A calming breath* I’m gonna go call everyone and tell them party is moved to tomorrow.”

The mother moves the girl from her lap to her girlfriends and leaves the room with phone in hand ready for a headache. Lexa looks at the little girl, “You want to pet them?”, she asks being met with a joyful nod. The brunette steals a couple of medical gloves from the counter and puts one on herself hand two on the child. She picks Madi up on one hip and they stand there gently brushing the top of its head. The dog’s eyes open for a few seconds holding such exhaustion, thankfulness, and softness in its tiny brown eyes. “You gonna be ok pup.”, the girl whispered.

They throw their gloves away and sit back down for about a half hour before Clarke came back into the room, thirty minutes later a veterinarian followed. “This is a tuff little guy you got here, but he’s in pretty ruff shape. He has kidney stones, heart worms, intestinal worms, and erupting tail acne. On top of that he was severely dehydrated, has been underfed, and his hind leg muscles are weak.”. Clarke took a slow breath out, Lexa looked pissed, and Madi looked like she wanted to cry.

C: “That’s a lot…”

Doctor (D): “It is…”

L: “Medications will get him back to healthy?”

D: “It’s a good start. He needs to be carried for a few days while being watered and fed properly to get his strength up. After that, you can start doing slow walks progressing in length to work out his hind legs. He really shouldn’t be left alone for long periods of time for a week or two. *Silence* Good news is there is nothing wrong with him that can’t be fixed. *Silence* Do you have any questions?”

C: “Well……… First, when can we take him home? Second, how old is he? Lex, you got anything you wanna ask?”

L: “Do you have any doggy house nurses or something that you recommend that can stay with him when we are not at home?”

D: “You can take him home tomorrow… Maybe. He is around five, six, seven… He is very sick so it’s hard to classify him as of now. Umm, I can refer you to someone, I’ll put a few numbers in your folder. Anything else? *Shakes of the head* Ok, one last thing, he needs a name.”

All the adults look to Madi with expectant eyes, the girl stares at the sleeping dog on the table thinking. “Milo.”, she says simply. Clarke smiles and repeats the name nodding to the doctor. “Alright, I get you set up. We will call you tomorrow and let you know if you can and when you can take him home. If you think of anymore questions just call the office.”. The mother gets up sighing, shaking the doctor’s hand before they leave. “Let’s say goodbye to Milo, my love.”.

M: “Can I touch him now?”

C: “Eh, yes. _But_ only on his head and you wash your hands _immediately_.”

The mother picks up her now six-year-old, Madi leaned forward in the grasp and lightly moved her hand from nose to top of head a few times. The dog’s eyes opened once more briefly, only this time once his eyes closed, he lifted his head up weakly an inch pressing into the little hand before falling back to sleep.

\-----------------------------------------------------

The trio walk into a dark house when the light pops on and a unanimous “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!” is screamed causing the birthday girl to grab onto her mother’s waist hiding her face. After realizing what was happening her face lit up like the stars. Raven was called along with the parents of the kids coming the next day to pick up the traditional birthday cookie cake and, along with her wife, decorate the house. Octavia and Lincoln were also there – them meeting at Raven and Anya’s wedding – along with Madi’s best friend Charlotte (And her parents).

The group played charades while eating birthday cake after the blowing of the candles and a song. Charlotte’s parents went home shortly after leaving their daughter to have a sleepover with her friend. Soon after, presents – Madi’s favorite part – were opened.  The child got new cleats and knee pads for her football games from Clarke and Lexa. A large remote-controlled car that can transport items on its roof and can be modified to clip on a camera to spy from Anya and Raven. (Let’s be real Anya had little to do with it.) From Lincoln and Octavia, she got a video game she had been wanting called ‘Greedfall’; she squealed with delight when she opened it. Lastly from her best friend she got tickets to ‘WWE Survivor Series’; that surprised everyone and had Madi crushing Charlotte in a bear hug.

Madi went to bed happy but frightened for the little shaggy dog she left in a hospital room. She couldn’t wait to see him tomorrow.

Clarke was ecstatic as she was exhausted when she was in bed for the night. Lexa had her arms around her, the brunette’s nose nuzzled in her blonde tresses. The sound of her slow breathing was so comforting, _‘Finally things are getting better.’_.

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY QUOTE OF THE DAY:  
> “Maybe there isn’t such a thing as fate. Maybe it’s just the opportunities we’re given, and what we do with them. I’m beginning to think that maybe great, epic romances don’t just happen. We have to make them ourselves.”  
> -Marissa Meyer, Cress
> 
> [FUN FACT: Dogs can hear 4 times as far as humans. Puppies may be born deaf, but they quickly surpass our hearing abilities. Dogs can also hear higher pitched sounds, detecting a frequency range of 67 to 45,000 hertz (cycles per second). The human range is from 64 to 23,000 hertz. In both dogs and humans, the upper end of hearing range decreases with age.]  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> And there is Ch 31 I hope you liked it! 
> 
> Tell me what you think, I love comments so please go ahead and share your thoughts! 
> 
> 9/22/2019


	32. A Realization

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY EMAIL: Tayqueendom@Gmail.com  
> For anyone to use for fic-Art or personal messages/if you need a pen pal/whatever really (Don’t be creepy though).
> 
> / L: Lexa / C: Clarke / M: Madi /  
> / R: Raven / A: Anya / O: Octavia /  
> / Mc: Marcus / Ca: Callie /  
> / I: Indra / G: Gustus /  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> CHAPTER SUMMARY: Lexa and Clarke’s relationship mysteriously improves.

**One Week Later**

“Oh….oh-oh…….oh….OH LEX!...... Yes…… RIGH- OH!!”, Clarke stilled, her elbows locked open as her fingers are trapping the brunette’s head to her. When her muscles finally relaxed into jelly, her ears lessening in static and her face cooling down, she realized her girlfriend has been cleaning her up with that dangerous tongue and was on her way back up leaving kisses and bites in her wake. When Lexa finally reached the blonde’s mouth, they shared a flavorful kiss that lasted a few minutes until it turned languid then tapered off into deep breathing.

Both on their backs with sweat dampened sheets on top of them, both laid there in silence. Lexa had her eye’s closed, arm thrown on her forehead. Clarke with eyes open, staring at the ceiling in sad frustration. The blonde new better than to try to reciprocate, she’d been stopped too many times now. Her lover would worship her body and then pull away from their intimate bond. It was the most confounding thing being so aroused, then fulfilled, then realizing you’re only half full. Not being able to make love to her goddess after orgasming put her body in a weird state of both hot and cold. Like mindlessly eating a whole bag of chips, feeling full and content with the salty snack; you look over and your daughter looks at you with a face that says ‘hey, I wanted some of that.’. and you’re sitting there with guilt thinking _‘Well shit, nothing I can do now.’_. Yuuuuup, that’s how Clarke’s sex life is right now and has been for some time.

L: (Tired) “I have my therapy appointment tomorrow at 3.”

C: (Calm) “Yup, I remember.”

L: “I won’t be able to pick up Madi from school.”

C: “I know.”

L: “I’m going to hop in the shower.”

C: “Okay…”

Both of them knew what she did in the shower and both of them truly wanted Clarke to be a part of it.

\-----------------------------------------------------

**The Next Day**

Clarke is running late, she overslept and hobbled out of her room three-quarters dressed to find Madi all the way dressed and eating a bowl of cereal. _‘Thank you, Lexa!’_. “Alright my love, Momma’s gonna get ready and we’ll leave soon.”, she just received a busy mouthed nod. Just as she was about to go back into the bedroom to finish getting ready the doorbell rang.

Opening the door, she finds a short ginger in scrubs.

C: “Hello?”

Unknown: “Hi, I’m Nurse Hope, the Vet-sitter for a Milo Griffin.”

C: “Oh yes, come in, come in.”

After giving the Nurse all the care information on doggy Milo, the Mother finished getting ready and with her daughter were out the door.

\-----------------------------------------------------

Clarke and Madi walk into their home and to the blonde’s surprise Nurse Hope is still there, _‘Maybe Lexa had the nurse stay while she showered.’_. Milo is laying down on his pillow bed in front of the couch. His skin is half healed and patches of missing hair are starting to grow back. His leg strength is coming back at a snail’s pace but he is finally gaining weight.

C: “Hey, how’s he doing today?”

Nurse Hope (NH): “Oh, he was a sweetheart. Mostly just slept, but I did give him a short walk in the backyard. He walked for a whole four minutes and then I carried him in.”

C: “Oh great! Thank you so much.”

NH: “It’s no problem, I’ll be back on Monday.”

C: “Yes. Have a good night.”

NH: “You as well.”

“LEXA WHERE HOME! WE’RE A LITTLE LATE because _somebody_ got into a fight and I had to talk to the teacher.”. Madi just looked guilty as Clarke started to realize something, “Lex?”, _‘She’s not home.’_. She takes out her phone and dials her girlfriend as her daughter puts her things away and goes over to her birthday present.  

*Buzz……Buzz……Buzz……Buzz….*

“You’ve reached Alexandria Woods, I’m currently not available please leave a message.”

*BEEEEP*

_‘Always so formal’_

“Hey babe, me and the little warrior just got home and I’m about to cook dinner. I thought you’d beat us home because I had to have a talk with Madi’s teacher but guess you’re running late too. Text me… I’ll-ah save you a plate. Love you.”

(End of phone call)

Clarke got dinner done and ate with her little girl, then helped her wash her hair. They watched T.V. for a while before she tucked her into bed and sat back down to wait. The last few hours she texted her love.

 

Love (10:49am): Irritated and very  
busy.

 

Girlfriend (11:07am): What's at least 6 inches  
                        long goes in your mouth, and is  
                        more fun if it vibrates?

 

Love (11:12am): Clarke… I an at work...

 

Girlfriend (11:13am): That’s not what your  
                        suppose to say Lex

Girlfriend (11:14am): Ask me what

 

Love (11:16am): What Clarke?

 

Girlfriend (11:16am): A toothbrush my sexy  
                        dirty minded goddess.

 

Girlfriend (11:17am): A

Girlfriend (11:17am): Toothbrush

 

Love (11:20am): I love you

 

Girlfriend (11:23am): Lov you too *Red lips emoji*

 

Love (2:52pm): I’m about to be called in  
soon, Love you.

 

Girlfriend (3:01pm): Ok babe see you when  
                        you get home.

Girlfriend (3:01pm): Love you too! *Red lips emoji*

 

Girlfriend (4:18pm): Im gonha be held up  

 

Girlfriend (6:41pm): Where are you?

 

Girlfriend (7:21pm): Lex?

 

Girlfriend (7:44pm): Lexa you need to text  
                        me back!

 

Girlfriend (8:02pm): Lexa I swear to fucking god!

 

Girlfriend (8:37pm): You’re scaring me!!! FUCKING  
                        TEXT ME BACK!

 

About twenty minutes after the last text the blonde sent, she heard the sound of keys jingling and then her lover walked through the door. Clarke got up speed walking pushing the brunette against the door with such force she bounced off slightly before the blonde crashed their lips together. Seconds later with having Lexa’s shirt clenched in tight pale fists and their lips bruised, she spoke; “I’m sorry, my phone died.”, she murmured. Clarke held the shirt tight and roughly speaking through gritted teeth, “Don’t you _EVER_ … Don’t you _ever_ scare me like that _again_!”.

Lexa had eyes of guilt and sincere apology she slowly loosened the blonde’s grip on her shirt and moved to caress her cheek. She pulls her in to a softer deeper kiss. One step at a time she walks her lover backwards to their bedroom. With her foot, she closes the door and starts removing her lover’s clothes and her own. They are both fully naked when Lexa lifts Clarke up, having pale legs wrap around her waist, placing her in the middle of the bed. She moves her lips down the woman’s neck, sucking a bruise near her collarbone. Going lower still she marks her beautiful chest and takes a nipple in her mouth. “AHH YES!”, the blonde nearly screams. Lexa takes in the other nipple and unhooks the woman’s ankles, pushing her knees wider to start grinding their cores together.

“I love you so much.”, she whispers nipping Clarke’s ear grinding harder and speeding up. All she gets in response is the sound of gasping for air followed by moans then the excited response of the woman’s hips. Their lips are connected when Lexa stills as the blonde continues to rock to find her own release; finding it closer and closer with fresh wetness between their sacred contact. “Fuck *Gasp* LEX! *Low groan*”.

Minutes have gone by, Clarke thinks she is lucky, she finally was able to see her goddess cum in her presence after such a long time. She wasn’t expecting Lexa to half roll on top of her, hook her leg to her hip, and roll back onto her back taking the blonde with her and make her effectively straddle her. The brunette takes her lover’s hand and slides it down her body to brush black wet coarse curls, “Touch me. *Heavy breath* Please!”, that was music to Clarke’s ears. She rubbed her sensitive clit with her fingertips softly, every once in a while bringing more of her arousal up from her entrance to make it smoother.

When Lexa moaned out that she wanted her inside, she didn’t hesitate to enter her, her heart jumping for joy. She jolted her hand forward and curled her fingers as she pulled back. Her speed was slow and steady and not enough. Lexa’s shout turned into a whine when Clarke withdrew completely. She was going to shout again, but that then turned into a moan as the blonde’s mouth took hold of her bundle of overstimulated nerves. She finally shouted but it was more of a scream that was cut off short by her hand slapping over her mouth.

They both cuddled up together fully sated and already half asleep. “I’ll tell you what happened tomorrow, promise.”, she whispered. Clarke just nodded against her neck and left a quick kiss there. They both fell asleep shortly after.

\-----------------------------------------------------

**The Next Day**

Lexa Is sitting on the couch looking at emails on her laptop when she hears the front door slam shut and Clarke yell, “LEXA, TAKE MADI TO HER ROOM. _NOW_!!!”. She jumped up and ran, when she got closer, she saw the blonde with her back to the door holding it closed with a white knuckled grip on the doorknob; Madi was ashen face standing in front of her mother. “Who is it?", she said through gritted teeth, the unspoken words being ‘Is it him?'. The mother just robotically repeated her earlier command with a low-voiced darkness Lexa had never seen before. She picked up the girl and marched up stairs.

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY QUOTE OF THE DAY:  
> “For me, singing sad songs often has a way of healing a situation. It gets the hurt out in the open into the light, out of the darkness.”  
> -Reba McEntire
> 
> [FUN FACTS: When McEntire was tapped to sing the National Anthem at the 1974 National Rodeo Finals, she had no idea it would help set her on the path to superstardom. Fellow country singer Red Steagall was in the crowd that night and was so impressed with the singer’s performance that he encouraged her to record a demo, which ultimately led to a record deal. In addition to 40 No. 1 hits, several chart-topping albums and record sales of more than 85 million, McEntire also has 28 albums that are certified gold, making her the second female artist to have the most gold albums behind Barbara Streisand.]  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> And there is Ch 32 I hope you liked it! OH THE CLIFF HANGER!!!! *Slowly walks backwards before turning and running away*
> 
> Tell me what you think, I love comments so please go ahead and share your thoughts! 
> 
> 9/29/2019


	33. You Came Back!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY EMAIL: Tayqueendom@Gmail.com  
> For anyone to use for fic-Art or personal messages/if you need a pen pal/whatever really (Don’t be creepy though).
> 
> / L: Lexa / C: Clarke / M: Madi /  
> / R: Raven / A: Anya / O: Octavia /  
> / Mc: Marcus / Ca: Callie /  
> / I: Indra / G: Gustus /  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> CHAPTER SUMMARY: Who’s behind the door? Is someone about to get their ass kicked? ALSO!!!! Some stuuuuuf happens. :)

**Three Hours Earlier**

Our couple is sitting down on the porch steps coffee mugs in one hand, the others are intertwined. “So…… Not that I’m complaining, but… what happened… yesterday? Actually no, you being gone without a word… _THAT_ I’M COMPLIANING ABOUT!”, Clarke says. Lexa hangs her head in guilt for a couple seconds before straitening up and beginning her explanation.

“In therapy yesterday……. We were talking about – well me – my nightmares and everything. Ummm… we were talking about our sex life; I had mentioned about – you know – and she was like ‘That makes a lot of sense.’. I asked her what she meant by that and she said that I punish myself. Like… I feel such intense guilt that my brain acts against me. The years of nightmares – yes, post-traumatic stress disorder – but the frequency of recurrent is my self-punishment. I couldn’t save my mother or wife… and my foster father… all of it is a sort of conversion disorder like… thing… I don’t know. The CBD oil has slowed down my brain and is helping but I…………... hurt you… You just forgave me just like that. *Snaps fingers* The whole thing just made me uncomfortable with sex. My skin crawled every-time you started to touch me. I thought something was wrong with me. And you were just so unhappy; I needed to make you feel good. And there we were with me not feeling you inside me... With me wanting you to make love to me and not being comfortable with it.”.

Clarke sat there listening intently feeling her heart constrict, “Why didn’t you tell me?”, she asked in a small voice. The brunette again dropped her head in shame, so she gripped her chin and lifted her back up to gaze into those sad verdant eyes. She connected their lips in unhurried softness trying to communicate without words, ‘I’m here, talk to me. I love you.’. When they break apart its short-lived as she brings their foreheads to rest together. And so, she waited… a few moments later, “I was embarrassed, and I didn’t want you to think badly of yourself or to think something was wrong with you. You are the sexiest woman I’ve laid eyes on since my Costia… And I am hopelessly, irrevocably – I feel it in my soul – in love with you.”.

Lexa clears her throat when what feels like minutes pass by after they disconnect, and Clarke has a stunned look on her face. Thinking she was saying too much she quickly changes the subject, “But uh-um anyway, afterwords I parked behind the gallery and walked around to think... Anduhmyphonedied. I – uh – I should’ve called… Sorry… Wonthappenagain”. She looks down at her hands when she hears it, the voice that makes her life worth living and creates a joy like nothing else, “Will you marry me?”.

Now she can’t breathe as she whips her head up in utter disbelief, “What?”, she just barely gets out. The blonde grabs her tan hands as she repositions her body to face her properly. She is stuck frozen where she sits. “I mean it, will you marry me?”. She hears herself whisper “Yes.”. Clarke breaks out in a smile, “Yes?”. She shakes out of her near comatose and repeats with all the joy she’s feeling and with just a hint more confidence, “Yes.”. “Holy SHIT!”, Clarke throws her arms around Lexa and kisses her fiercely.

C: (Disbelief) “Holy shit… We just got engaged…”

C: (Ecstatic Disbelief) “Holy shit!!! *Hard Kiss* We just got engaged!!!”

L: (Joyful) *Catching breath* “Yup… Yes, we did…”

L: (Joyful amusement) “You are such a blurter!”

C: (Faux Offense)“I AM NOT A BLURTER!” *Softer Kiss*

L: “Oh yes you are! You blurted out I love you and this proposal.”

The couple embrace and kiss clumsily on the stairs before finding a comfortable angle, but that is short lived as they get interrupted. “Momma, Lexa, what are you doing? I’m hungry.”. Lexa stands up and  picks up the girl, “Good morning Little One. How about I make eggs and bacon?”. Madi really liked that idea as the taller brunette made some crispy bacon, mmmperfect. The two brunettes went in while Clarke contemplated what she had just done from her spot on the porch. _‘I just did that.’_

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Present (Madi)**

There was a knock at the door so naturally (Even though she wasn’t supposed to, and was told multiple time not to) she opened the door. A nice-looking white woman with light wrinkles on her face. Her face shape was an squareish-oval narrowing to a point at the chin, hair dark and light – a brownish blonde or blondish brown, she couldn’t decide. “Well, hello… uh-there???”, the woman said as more of a question than a greeting, her voice reminds her of someone else.

M: “Hi. Who are you?”

Unknown: (Nervous) “Umm… Is Cl-”

C: (From behind the door) “My love, how many times do I have to tell you not to answer the door. The world *Opens door* is-”

C: (Icy) “What the hell are you doing here?!”

Unknown: “Cla-”

The mother put her finger up to pause what ever was going on and grabbed the top of the daughter’s head turning her around while closing the door. She yells with shaking anger, “LEXA, TAKE MADI TO HER ROOM. _NOW_!!!”.

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Present  (Lexa)**

Lexa Is sitting on the couch looking at emails on her laptop when she hears the front door slam shut and Clarke yell, “LEXA, TAKE MADI TO HER ROOM. _NOW_!!!”. She jumped up and ran, when she got closer, she saw the blonde with her back to the door holding it closed with a white knuckled grip on the doorknob; Madi was ashen face standing in front of her mother. “Who is it?”, she said through gritted teeth, the unspoken words being ‘Is it him?”. The mother just robotically repeated her earlier command with a low-voiced darkness Lexa had never seen before. She picked up the girl and marched upstairs.

When they got to the girl’s bedroom, she sat her on her bed kneeling in front of her, “Do _not_ leave this room. Lock the door behind me. DO NOT open the door for anyone except me or mommy. If someone else comes to your door and doesn’t say anything what do you do?”. “Call 9-1-1.”, the girl says with frightened certainty. “Alright… Do _not_ leave this room!”, restating with a firmness that Madi new the urgency. _‘I feel deja vu’_

She left the room, waiting to hear that click of the door locking before racing down the stairs. Ripping the front door open she freezes. Just as the thought of _‘That’s not Finn’_ runs through her head, Clarke’s fist lands on the stranger’s cheek. She immediately reacts and bear hugs her fiancé from behind, swinging her around, and putting herself in the middle of whatever the fuck was going on. The stranger was leaning over to her side and holding her face stunned. “WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!?!?!”, she roared. Clarke spoke through gritted teeth, venom clearly evident, “This is my unfortunate biology… People would say she’s my 'Mother'.”. Her arms that were stretched out to both women fall, her face contorts in a mixture of shock and hurt, _‘WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!?!?!’_.

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Present (Clarke)**

C: “LEXA, TAKE MADI TO HER ROOM. _NOW_!!!”

Her fiancé come charging in, “Is it him?” she asks, but Clarke knows what she means. “Take… Madi… To her room… _now_.”, her voice was a dead as she felt right now. When her loves are up the stairs and out of view, she opens the door storming out. “Clarke I’m not here to cause any problems.”. The enraged woman grabs the woman who gave birth to her by the collar of her shirt holding her against one of the porch columns, noses an inch or two apart. “We are going to talk like this, my daughter is not going to hear this. What do you want?”, her voice is a whispered rage. Her ‘mother’s’ eyes widen as her eyebrows shoot up, “I have a granddaughter?”. Before she can control herself, she punches the woman in the face growling, “Don’t you _ever_ call her that!”. Arms were around her waist tightly; next thing Lexa was in-between them. “WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!?!?!”, the brunette yelled. With nothing she could do but reveal the truth, “This is my unfortunate biology… People would say she’s my ‘Mother’.”. It was instant, Lexa was stonewalled and hurt by her lie, her heart contracted painfully seeing it; Clarke looked away ashamed.

 _‘What the fuck do we do now?’_ , they both question themselves.

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY QUOTES OF THE DAY:  
> “It does not do to rely too much on silent majorities, Evey, for silence is a fragile thing, one loud noise, and its gone. But the people are so cowed and disorganised. A few might take the opportunity to protest, but it'll just be a voice crying in the wilderness. Noise is relative to the silence preceding it. The more absolute the hush, the more shocking the thunderclap. Our masters have not heard the people's voice for generations, Evey and it is much, much louder than they care to remember.”  
> -Alan Moore & David Lloyd, V for Vendetta  
> “Remember, remember, the 5th of November The Gunpowder Treason and Plot; I know of no reason why the Gunpowder Treason Should ever be forgot.”  
> -V for Vendetta
> 
> [FUN FACTS: V wears a mask in the guise of Guy Fawkes who is most famous for his involvement in the Gunpowder Plot of 1605 (November 5th, 1605), which he was placed in charge with executing due to his military and explosives experience. The plot, masterminded by Robert Catesby, was a failed attempt by a group of provincial English Roman Catholic conspirators to kill King James of England and VI of Scotland, his family, and most of the Protestant aristocracy in one swoop by blowing up the Houses of Parliament during its State Opening.]  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> And there is Ch 33 I hope you liked it! 
> 
> Tell me what you think, I love comments so please go ahead and share your thoughts! 
> 
> 10/6/2019


	34. You Came Back!: Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY EMAIL: Tayqueendom@Gmail.com  
> For anyone to use for fic-Art or personal messages/if you need a pen pal/whatever really (Don’t be creepy though).  
> \--I’m not sure about this chapter… It’s late due to me being busy, getting caught up reading other fanfics, and the difficulty with writing this chapter.--  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> CHAPTER SUMMARY: Never fear, the Commander is here. Why does Clarke hate her mother so much?

Lexa was rubbing her forehead trying to contemplate what she was going to do as well as trying to digest what just happened. She cleared her throat and spoke to her girlfr – fian – she doesn’t really know at this point, “She is your mother?”. Clarke looked pissed again speaking through gritted teeth once more, “Don’t call her th-!”. The blonde was cut off by a loud angry clap, with her lips clamped together, the brunette put her fingertips on her closed eyes as if she was in pain; “The – The woman you said died giving birth to you then… You know the lie you told that stretches our entire relationship.”. The woman of topic spoke woundedly, “She said I was dead!?”. Clarke jumped at her but couldn’t get around her goddess, “DON’T SPEAK TO MY WIFE!!!”.She was struggling to hold her back, “CLARKE! DAMN IT! STOP! I AM NOT YOUR WIFE! Hell, at this point I’m not even sure we’re engaged! CALM THE FUCK DOWN!!!”. It took a second, but the words finally soaked through her skin of rage and she stopped struggling.

She took a fist-full of Clarke’s shirt to have an advantage if her love decided to pounce again. Turning to the stranger, “What is your name?”; when the woman looked unsure, she barked out “SPEAK!”. “Uh-uh I-I um ABBY, Abby Griffin. Hi.”, the woman stuttered. “Abby Griffin, yup that’s the name I was told, at least that part was true. Well, there she is, alive and well… Risen from the fucking grave. Everyone get inside!”.

C: “ _She_ is not coming into _our_ house, Lexa!”

L: “Are you going to try to hurt our daughter?”

Abby(Ab): “What? NO, OFCOURSE NOT!”

L: “Do you think I can’t take her if she tried?”

C: (Angry quiet) “No…”

L: (Growl) “Ok then… Everyone get in the fucking house.”

“You first.”, Lexa pointed to the unwelcome woman and then to the front door. “Sit.”, she demanded and then whispered to Clarke, “Go get Madi situated and I’ll get you two some ice.”. The blonde just nodded with a tight jaw. She went to the kitchen, grabbing one ice pack and one bag of frozen green carrots. She must have broken Abby’s thoughts because she jumped alarmed when she threw the bag of vegetables on her lap. She sat and observed the visibly shaken stranger on the couch in front of her with a cold bag pressed to her cheek.

L: (Stoic) “Why does she hate you so much?”

Ab: (Ashamed) “I… was… am a drug addict. I have been clean for a little over five years now. I abandoned her quite a lot growing up *Looks away* and haven’t seen her for seven years. *Clears throat* That was the last time I left and went on a binge… I never came back.”

L: “What were you addicted to?”

Ab: “Pills… That’s how it started… I scraped of the top at the hospital I worked at for a few years. Then I stole full bottles, got caught. Stole money from my husband after that. Eventually did heroin… then anything to get high. I uh – I always went back to them when I ran out of money claiming I was ready to get help… Just stole money slowly over time and ran away again. My husband, bless his soul, was too kind for his own good, always welcomed me back; always held on to hope. And I always let him down……… How old is she?”

Lexa was impressed by the honesty this stranger and even more confused about why Clarke had said she was dead.

L: “She just had her sixth birthday.”

She could see the addict doing the math, it dawned on her fast.

L: “She got pregnant right after he died. Her high school boyfriend took advantage of her. He is the worst type of person… Still to this day.”

Ab: (Pained) *Lowered the cold bag* “Is he in the picture?”

C: “Why would he be? She is _my_ daughter and _Lexa’s_ daughter, not _his_.”

Ab: (Relieved) “Good.”

Clarke sat down hesitantly next to Lexa, burning a hole into the woman across from them.

The brunette kept her gaze forward as she asked, “Why do you hate her?”. “You will get no money from us, tell me why you’re here before I call the cops.”, Clarke ignored the question. She tried again, “Why do you hate her, Clarke?”. Ignored for the second time, “You have thirty seconds.”. “WHY DO YOU HATE HER CLARKE?!?”. The blonde’s pale hands turned into fist, hard enough to make deep half-moon impressions on her palms, “SHE KILLED MY DAD! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR!?!”.

Both the other people in the room wore shocked faces, both whispered, “What!?!”.

\-----------------------------------------------------

Now Lexa was just lost, what do you say now? She looked over at the accused and saw a teary-eyed confusion filled face. “Clarke, I don’t know what you think you know but Jake w-”, Abby was interrupted by a seething Clarke, “DON’T YOU SAY HIS FUCKING NAME!”. The near sobbing woman continued, “… _he_ was killed in a mugging. I would _never_ hurt him!”, she begged for logic or understanding or _something_. The blonde shot off the couch, “AND HOW DID HE GET THERE HUH?!?”. Lexa stood up and tried to put her hands on her to console her but was shrugged off, her lover stepped closer to the crying woman in rage as she repeated the question in quiet fury. Abby stuttered on the first word of her response, so Clarke spoke instead, “YOU!!!! YOU CALLED HIM BITCH! You called him with your sobbing-pathetic self *Pointing her finger and twirling it in front of her as statement of evidence* and he went to pick your drugged ass up TO SAVE YOU and *Tears add to anger* what did he get for it? A bullet shot into him six times!!”.

The brunette temporarily forgot her betrayal and closed her arms around her love, rubbing her hand up and down her upper back, whispering calming words in her ear. “I didn’t – I didn’t know that. I – I’m so sorry Clarke, I… don’t remember. I’ll go.”. Abby stood up on unsteady feet moving towards the door numbly. Lexa stopped her with a stern voice, “You don’t get to just leave, you are not allowed to run away again. Leave your information so if she wants to, she can do whatever she needs to.”. The woman mindlessly obeyed, writing down her number and address on a random card, leaving it on the kitchen counter before taking her leave.

When Lexa leaned back after the sobs subsided, she was scared by what she saw in Clarke’s eyes, it was like the blonde was stranded in a storm alone; trapped in her darkness. She moved her to sit on the couch and put the ice pack wrapped in a hand towel on her bruised knuckles. She quickly went and got another small towel, putting it under cold running water, rung it out and returned. Lightly she used the damp cloth to clean and cool her lovers distraught face. When she was done, she laid her lips on her forehead and sat back down wrapping her arms around her. After what seemed like a long time, Clarke finally spoke, “We should go check on Mads.”. Lexa simply nodded, stood up, pulling the mother along.

They got to the girl’s room and knocked while opening the door. Clarke stopped immediately in the unexpectedness of what she saw, Madi was sitting on the bed with a paring-knife in her hand and a look of fear and worry etched on her little face; Lexa’s worry was now doubled. “Hey my Love, everything is fine. No one else is here besides the three of us.”, The mother says as she sits next to her on the bed, Lexa sitting on the other side on the floor. No one makes a move to take the knife away, knowing it made the girl feel safe and holding a measure of control. After a while and a kiss on the temple, she continued, “Why do you have a knife?”. “I heard yelling and crying.”, the child says as explanation, looking into her mom’s puffy eyes.

L: “How long have you had that knife?”

M: “Since the night of the police.”

Both Clarke and Lexa were surprised and saddened by that as that was months ago. What they didn’t know and would never find out is that ever since that night, every time an argument or too high a raised voice was heard through her wall, she grabbed that knife and waited to see if she’d have to use it. “We will always protect you. I can protect myself. Lexa can certainly protect herself. We protect each other, my love… you don’t need the knife.”. Yes, Madi heard that. Yes, she listened as well. Yes, she even believed it to be true, but she still asked, “Can I keep it anyway?”. The couple looked at one another for a few seconds before the mother agreed.

The trio eventually came down from the second floor to _try_ to normalize by watching a movie. Putting on Tangled, they sat on the couch in the living room. After the movie was over, they painted – Lexa may have responded to a few emails here and there – and Madi seemed to be mindfully present in the activity, thankfully.

\-----------------------------------------------------

That night – after Madi was put to bed – Clarke and Lexa were able to talk about the day’s revelations. The couple stands in their bedroom, the blonde near the foot of the bed, the brunette at next to her side of the bed, pulling down the covers.

C: (Quiet) “I’m sorry.”

L: (Passive aggressive) “For what?”

C: “Lexa…”

L: (Tired) “Clarke…”

C: “I told everyone that she died, ok? When – When I moved here…” (To herself) How the hell did she even find me?” (To Lexa) “When I moved here, I got help from Finn’s parents. They didn’t know I existed until I called Finn when I went into labor and Marcus picked up. After Fin attacked me, me, Madi, Marcus, and Callie moved here, that was the story I told them. I made friends… Raven and Octavia, that’s the story I told them. *Starts to cry* I met you, that’s the story I told. She was barely a mother to me growing up; she killed my father. She is not my mother… My mother died after she pushed me out. That’s it. That woman just wants my money!”

Lexa couldn’t stand the heartbreak she heard in her love’s voice as she talked; when Clarke started crying, her own heart broke. When the monologue was over, she wrapped her arms around the woeful woman, kissing the hair on her temple, and sat them on the edge of the bed. When the tears ceased, Lexa pulled back, “I understand that, but I’m supposed to be the woman you’re going to marry… have more children with… Why wasn’t I the exception? FUCK are we even real!?!”.

Clarke realized the true gravity of the situation as her eyes widened, she grabbed her goddess’s face in a panic and kissed her long and with a rare level of gentleness. “Oh, my love… You are _such_ an exception. I had not dated since high school before you, that’s _five_ _years_ … My entire adult life was filled with diapers and kissing booboos, I didn’t let anyone in, and you busted through the door. I had not been in love before you. Madi had never been introduced to anyone I’ve been with before you. I have never wanted to have children with anyone besides you. _You_ are the exception to _so many_ things, you are the love of my life… _my person_. This is not a measure of my trust in you. This does not diminish our relationship. You have to understand, the only time I think of her is when someone asks about her and the anniversaries about my dad. Once I say she died during labor, no one brings her up again. On the anniversaries, I’m depressed and don’t want to make it worse. Otherwise it’s not on my mind. It was not something I actively held from you; I just didn’t think I’d ever see her again. Hell, I didn’t know she was still alive. I didn’t want to talk about her for the rest of my life. I’m so sorry this made you feel that I didn’t trust you or we weren’t real. I love you.”

Lexa closed her eyes and sighed loud moving her fingers through her hair in exasperation, “Ok, I’m tired… I need to think, but right now I want to go to bed.”. She takes her hand back moving up the bed to get under the covers, laying down. Clarke looked down in shame but then nodded in despairing acceptance. She gets up and turns the light off before following her lover’s actions, laying on her side facing outward. With hesitance she feels behind her reaching the brunette’s elbow, pulling her arm and gathering her willing hand to hold. When she faced no resistance and Lexa took the initiative the interlock their fingers, she breathed a sigh of relief with this little victory.

\-----------------------------------------------------

When Clarke got up the following morning, she did not feel the Sunday relaxation she normally looks forward to. Reaching out she felt only coldness on the sheets beside her, her stomach dropped; she dreaded getting up, fear gripped. But then she heard something that made her start breathing again, Madi and Lexa laughing. Now able to get up, the wait holding her to the bed lessening just enough, she leaves her bedroom.

In the living room, the couch and coffee table have been moved at a distance, Lexa lays on the floor on her back with Madi on top dramatizing punches and a pin for a three count. Her goddess lays limp as her daughter gets up off the floor with her fists held high hearing muted chants. The girl only stops when she sees her mother leaning on the archway wall. While she’s distracted, Lexa sneak-attacks her from behind, picking her up with a roar, cradling her in her lap, tickling her and munching on her cheek. After a few seconds of delighted squeals, the older brunette stops, they are both lightly panting, “Clarke, we already had breakfast. I left you some egg biscuits on the counter.”.

She sadly nodded and quietly thanked her walking up to kiss her six-year-old on the head whispering a good morning. Hesitantly she gives her hopefully fiancé on the lips briefly, holding on to the hope that’s in the return pressure of lips.

In the kitchen she retrieves the small cellophane wrapped plate with two biscuits with fried egg in the middle, on it. Two bites in, Lexa follows her, “She’s watching some YouTube videos on the TV… Markiplier play some weird game.”. She only nods mutely, nibbling on her food.

L: (low) “Claarrrrrke…”

C: “Mmhmm?”

L: *Sigh* “Clarke… I get it ok… I do. Somethings make sense now, that’s why you flushed your pain pills even though you still needed them, isn’t it?”

The blonde looking her in the eye was all the confirmation she needed.

L: *Hummed* “Is there anything else you need to tell me?”

*After seconds of stillness*

C: (Guilty) “Not that I know of.”

L: “Alright…… I have the information Abby wrote down. I’ll keep it in a safe space if you ever want it.”

C: “That’s it?”

L: “Yeah that’s it. Just – I get it, really – just… Talk to me, what ever it is. That’s what marriage is right? Complete openness, nothing in the dark…”

Clarke’s smile broke out, she moves to stand a foot apart from her goddess, “Wait, I didn’t fuck up our engagement? You still want to marry me?”. Lexa chuckled wrapping her arms around the blonde’s waist, she repeated her fiancé’s words from an emotional night in their past, “You are the love of my life too.”.

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY QUOTES OF THE DAY:  
> "I will disappoint you; I promise you that... But I won't lie to you. And I will never leave."  
> -John (Switched at birth) 
> 
> “You don't have the luxury of a couple of beers every now and then... because if you're anything like me, pretty quickly that couple of beers can become a six-pack, and then that six-pack is all you think about. It happened to my dad, it happened to me, and I'm going to do everything in my power to make damn sure it doesn't happen to you.”  
> -Regina (Switched at birth)
> 
> [FUN FACTS: The show Switched at birth made ABC Family’s No. 1 series debut of all time in June 2011 with over three million in total viewers. It is the first TV show where there is more than one actor who is deaf or hard of hearing and who are series regulars. And the show is the first that allows the characters to communicate in (ASL) their language.]  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> And there is Ch 34 I hope you liked it! 
> 
> Tell me what you think, I love comments so please go ahead and share your thoughts! 
> 
> \--Anyone else ever watch Switched at birth?--
> 
> \--I’d like you peoples to tell me your thoughts on this chapter. Was it too soft, jerky, or dumb/unrealistic?--
> 
> 10/27/2019


	35. Of Miracles And Monsters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY EMAIL: Tayqueendom@Gmail.com  
> For anyone to use for fic-Art or personal messages/if you need a pen pal/whatever really (Don’t be creepy though).  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> CHAPTER SUMMARY: Time……. JUMPSSSSS! Plural because there are multiple.

**Four Months Later**

Doctor Snow (DS): “Alright Alexandria, I’m going to start the procedure now. You might feel a little pinch or uncomfortable pressure, ok? That’s completely normal.”

Lexa (L): (Nervous) “Yeah…”

Clarke (C): (Happy) “I am right here, my love. Ready to make a baby with me?”

L: (JOY) “Absolutely.”

Clarke was standing next to her prone fiancé trying not to bounce up and down holding a tight tan hand in hers. _‘My hand is going to be broken during labor.’_ , she thought but she couldn’t care, too excited at the thought. The doctor with her grey hair in a bun sitting on a rolling stool in-between Lexa’s thighs looked up for the official go ahead, the couple holding hands broke out of their bubble and nervously nodded.

Dr. Snow leaned in and inserted her instrument in, releasing the sperm from the donor the couple had chosen weeks past. Immediately she took the tool out, disconnected the front tubing and canister from the gun to discard  in a nearby biohazard can, and took off and discarded her gloves. “Alright, that’s it. Lay for twenty minutes and a nurse will come in a discharge you. She will give you papers with a vast amount of information on it. You two have a great day and… good luck.”.

The couple just froze staring at the door processing everything. Clarke was the first to look away, letting out a long breath, “We… might have a tiny human in our arms in nine months.”. The brunette just hummed in reply now gazing into the blank white ceiling of the small eggshell-white room. _‘I hope Costia is smiling right now.’_ Neither move much for the twenty minutes and they don’t talk, Clarke knowing her goddess needs time to digest and think, so she just keeps ahold of her hand. The nurse comes in and he gives our couple informative pamphlets and papers on after the insemination process and pregnancy.

The car rid home is spent with Lexa staring out the passenger side window, with her head in her hand, silent.

When they get home, Lexa stands in the kitchen looking lost. “Do you need a minute, my love?”, Clarke asks gently, not wanting to push. She receives a discouraged nod in answer and rushes over to wrap her in a hug. When she hears the long shaky sigh in her ear, she starts laying soft kisses up and down the brunette’s neck. “I miss her. She was supposed to be the one coming home from the doctor’s excited on possibly being pregnant…… I – Shit! – I’m so sorry Clarke, I don’t mean yo-”. She shushes her and rubs her back until her breathing settles to normal. _‘She’s not crying, I have never seen her cry.’_ , the blonde thinks without significance. As she pulls back, she brushes her thumb over Lexa’s worry lines to smooth them away, “Hey, I miss my dad so much, that does not mean I don’t love Marcus; that I regret or feel ashamed of having a relationship with him. You have nothing to apologize for. You miss her, I don’t blame you. She was a hell of a woman that you had years with and were in the process of having children with when you lost her………………….”.

C: (Whispers) “I love you.”

L: (Whispers) “I love you too.”

After a while of muted life, “You know, I heard an orgasm helps you get pregnant.”. Clarke just laughs and pushes her lover against the kitchen counter. “Is that right?”, the blonde husks as she begins assaulting Lexa’s neck and jawline. The possibly pregnant woman lets out a breathy “Yes” as kisses are planted on the exposed part of her chest. That breathiness turns into a stunted moan when she bites Clarke’s ear as a foreign hand enters her underwear and teases her.

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Two Weeks Later**

L: “Yes… No… No, get Kendrick to negotiate with them, he needs to learn sooner or later… Yes, of course Nichole supervises him. She needs to make sure he’s on the right path…. No… No… Yes, that’s correct… Brie is Head of Management of team E, she is in charge of those issues…. Yes… Yes… No, Birch Street not Benedict Drive. And have them on my desk by lunch tomorrow, if they aren’t ready by then there will be hell to pay… Mhmm see you tomorrow.”

(Phone Call Ends)

Lexa puts her phone on the coffee table and paces back and forth. “You know how incredibly sexy you are when you’re all bossy? You’re so broody and commanding. Ruiner of my panties.”, the blonde has been standing there for an unknown amount of time. If it was any other day she would’ve laughed, maybe even started something. But today _was_ not the day! “Did you pick it up?”, her response was sharp, a product of anxiety.

Clarke’s eyes soften in understanding, she walks over and folds her lover in her arms, “Yes I did. Everything is going to be fine. If it’s negative, we’ll try again. You’re rich. I’m… well off… We can try hundreds of times. If you can’t get pregnant, we’ll put our babies in my basket, ok? We’ll have more children come hell or high water.”. She kisses her slowly, keeping their foreheads connected and eyes closed for moments uncounted. “Are you ready?”, she asked like a masseuse in a spa. Seeing the brunette’s eyes still closed she waited. After a while she swayed them humming softly, eventually she moved a hand from Lexa’s back to massage her neck and scalp. After a while Lexa started to kiss her, imploring support or trying to discard her nerves.

A deep breath out, “Ok, I’m ready.”. They walk to the bathroom hand-in-hand. Clarke opens the life notifying box, emptying the contents on the sink. She reads the instructions as Lexa paces again. “Alright, these things have changed since the last time I used one of these, but it’s still simple. I’m glad the circumstances are better this go around.”, she adds that last bit more to herself. “Just have to pee on this part here, and wait ten minutes, my love.”. Lexa stops in her stride and steels herself, walking up to the toilet and sitting down with her pants at her ankles. Clarke squats down in front of her knees, soothingly rubbing her thigh, “If it’s negative, we’ll try again, ok? Many people have to do this a few times, the doctor said that. We are going to be fine my love, promise.”.  The distressed woman opened her legs, the blonde turned on the faucet to a steady light stream, then positioned the stick; they waited. They waited, even as Clarke’s feet were hurting and she had to reposition, kneeling, sitting back on her calves.

Finally, Lexa was able to pee, the blonde quickly moved the stick to better wet the test. She capped it and set a timer on her phone as her goddess wiped and flushed the toilet. She grabbed a tan hand and walked them into the bedroom sitting down on the bed. The maybe pregnant woman would not stop tapping her foot, so she laid down and opened her arms. Lexa threw herself on Clarke, nuzzling her neck, breathing in her smell, trying to calm down.

The timer beeped, whatever tension she got rid of was back with full force. “I can’t, you look at it.”, she stayed on the bed with her arm over her eyes; Clarke walked away. Moments later she felt the bed dip and her arm was removed, “We’ll try again, my love.”. The disappointment she felt was beyond words.

“Fuck!”

\-----------------------------------------------------

**One Month Later**

“You’re pregnant.”

_‘What?’_

Lexa went in to see her doctor because she wasn’t feeling well and what? “I-I I’m sssssss… What?!?” The doctor smiled in a half congratulatory, half ‘is this not happy news?’ sort of way, “You’re pregnant.”. Laughing, hysterical laughing came next. “Wait what?”, she said while trying to catch her breath. Now the doctor was nervous, she rolled over trying to decide if this was a happy reaction or if a panic attack was about to start, “Alexandria Woods, you are pregnant.”.  She just stared at the woman in the white coat, “Would you like a cup of water?”, she nodded. And so did the doctor, rolled to the sink to get a clear plastic cup, filling it under the facet, rolled back. She drinks a few sips, then gulped it all down. “How? The insemination didn’t work, the test was negative. I don’t…”, shaking her head.

Doctor (D): “All I can say is it was a false negative. It’s rare nowadays but, it can happen.”

L: (Disbelief happy) “I’m really pregnant?”

D: “You are really pregnant. Blood tests don’t lie… Obviously it’s _possible_ something went wrong in the lab… Do you want me to run it again, just to be sure?”

L: (Early disappointment) *Clears throat* “Yeah, let’s run it again.”

D: “Alright. *Taps knee* I’ll put in the order, sit tight.”

An hour or two later, hell maybe even three – Lexa was lost in thought – The doctor came back in, “Yup you are most definitely pregnant.”. A face splitting grin and a warm fuzzy feeling, “I’m pregnant! HOLY SHIT! I’M PREGNANT!!!!!!”. _‘I need to tell Clarke right now!’_

\-----------------------------------------------------

**An hour Later**

Lexa pulls up to the gallery with such excitement it feels as though she’s walking on air. The bell on the door rings as she opens it and it is like the universe is congratulating her with the sound. It reminds her of rattles she will be buying for her little peanut. No one is in the gallery, so she walks farther in, to her baby momma’s office. She walks in seeing the coffee on the desk and the computer on open to a business email, she sits down in the computer chair. After ten minutes, she calls Clarke and hears a ringing coming from the desk. Opening the drawer, is the artist’s phone. For some reason she gets a bad feeling in her bones, _‘Where the fuck is Clarke?’_.

She gets up from the chair exploring the gallery once more. The last place she checks is the bathroom. Knocking on the door “Clarke? *Knock Knock Knock* Babe? Are you in there?”. Three seconds of silence, she opens the door. “NO NO NO NONONONONONO! CLARKE!!! BABY OPEN YOUR EYES! CLARKE!!!”

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY QUOTE OF THE DAY:  
> "For what it’s worth: It’s never too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you find you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start over again."  
> -Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald
> 
> [FUN FACTS: Fitzgerald (The author of The Great Gatsby) read widely and demonstrated early talent for writing, but he was a lousy student who struggled to achieve passing marks in both grade school and in college. He had a penchant for cutting classes during his time at Princeton University, and nearly failed out before abandoning his studies to join the military. Despite his legendary command of the written word, Fitzgerald was also a poor speller and may have suffered from dyslexia. After reading a typo-filled version of “This Side of Paradise,” literary critic Edmund Wilson—a classmate of Fitzgerald’s during his Princeton days—declared it “one of the most illiterate books of any merit ever published…full of English words misused with the most reckless abandon.”]  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> And there is Ch 35 I hope you liked it! 
> 
> Tell me what you think, I love comments so please go ahead and share your thoughts! 
> 
> \--IM SORRY!!! *Runs away and barricades self in safe room* JUST ALWAYS REMEMBER THIS WILL BE A HAPPY ENDING NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS!!!--
> 
> 11/3/2019


	36. Finality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes:  
> MY EMAIL: Tayqueendom@Gmail.com   
> For anyone to use for fic-Art or personal messages/if you need a pen pal/whatever really (Don’t be creepy though).  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> CHAPTER SUMMARY: So…. What happened to Clarke?

\--WARNING-- There is a bit of violence (INDICATED BETWEEN THE TWO SETS OF *************) for this chapter. If you have PTSD or are uncomfortable with, and know you can’t experience things like this, there is a plot summery of what occurs in the end notes down below. So read the first paragraph, scroll to the end notes, read the summery, and continue reading from the second set of 13 stars. --WARNING--

**A Half Hour Before**

Sitting at her desk, Ryder needed permission to buy three paintings and a sculpture from an artist in Kenya. Not only did she grant permission, but she directed him to create an ongoing relationship with the young artist for future pieces. Excited she clicks on send, receiving the confirmation notification. Her second coffee gone she decides to get another one, but when she put her cup down, she realized the bathroom was her next goal. Before she could walk out of her office a chime sounded from her computer signaling a new email. Opening it, it was an inquiry from another of her employees informing of another potential buy, she decided she could wait to reply.

*************

In the washroom, she relieves herself and washes her hands. She hears the door close but before she could turn around, she is pushed against the wall, the intruder at her back. “Hey hey, I have noth-nothing on me. You’re wasting your time.”, is the only thing she can manage to get out. The voice she hears makes her very being feel empty and hollow, “Oh, you have plenty my Clarkeypoo.”. She is turned around in a millisecond hands held at her side, “Finn!”, her voice was a mixture of fright and tiredness. She was so tired of this, so tired of being scared, so tired of this person trying to hurt her. A third, weird feeling found her, she couldn’t name it and it was quickly overpowered with her fear. “You’re never a waste of my time.”, his mouth sucked on her neck, the smell of alcohol burned her nose.

“Finn, I don’t want you. I never have. Leave… Now!”, she tried to move her hand but he forced it back to her side. He looked at her in confusion, “We have a baby together. Don’t lie to me, you practically jumped on my dick. You wanted me so bad, you begged for me to break you open. You’re probably so wet right now, that was the best night of our lives.”. He pressed her hand to his strained zipper, she immediately pulled back to its previous position. “You are delusional! My dad had just died! I WAS DRUNK!! YOU SHOULD HAVE HELD ME!!! NOT FUCKED ME!!!! You weren’t even good.”, she could barely get the last word out when a hard ear-ringing punch hit her. “You’re such a bad liar!”, he kissed her hard. Clarke was dazed, next thing she knew her jeans were pulled down to the tops of her thighs and she was sitting on the sink. Her arms flailed trying to push him away by his hips, chest, then his head; none of it was enough.  

When a nail scratched his eyeball, he yelled and banged her head against the mirror behind her, shattering it. Finn continued to kiss her mouth, eventually moving to her neck. He shoved his hand in Clarke’s underwear, stroking her. “It would be better if we were both naked, Finn.”, she kissed him hard, dominating him with her tongue. He moaned and allowed her to hop off the sink and walk him to the opposing wall while stripping him of his jacket.

_‘Finally! Now she’s thinking right. We can finally be to-’_ , “UGGGHER!!! What……”.

Clarke stabbed him in the heart with a sharp piece of the mirror, pulling back and as she went to stab again but the glass was hit out of her hand. Immediately he wrapped his hands around her neck and squeezed with all his strength. She knew what that third unnamed feeling was that she had, it was finality. He was slowly bleeding out, but he wouldn’t let go, her head was on fire. She kept hitting his hands, but her body was shutting down from oxygen deprivation. As he started sliding down the wall leaving a large blood streak in his wake, Clarke started crumbling to the ground passing out. The last thing she saw before it all went black was Finn’s pale tired face with dilated eye’s full of hatred, the last thing she felt was warm liquid pooling under her.

*************

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Present**

“Clarke? *Knock Knock Knock* Babe? Are you in there?”. Three seconds of silence, she opens the door. “NO NO NO NONONONONONO! CLARKE!!! BABY OPEN YOUR EYES! CLARKE!!!”.  The mother of her unborn child was unmoving on the floor in a pool of blood. Her pants were around the middle of her thighs, Finn on the ground next to her. She had never felt a fear like this, it was blacker than Vantablack and colder than the Boomerang Nebula. It was a fear of unquantifiable proportions. She dropped to her knees, blood soaked the pants at her shins and kneecaps. Her face was bruised, and a lip was split. Moving blond hair off the pale sweet face, she yelled out her name over and over, lightly slapping her rapidly. Nothing made those gorgeous baby blues appear. _‘PHONE!’_ , Lexa kissed the clammy forehead and ran at full speed – though it felt like slow motion – grabbed her phone and raced back to the bathroom, crumbling once again to the floor by the love of her life.

Operator (Op): (Calm) “9-1-1, what’s your emergency”

Lexa (L): (Frantic) “MY WIFE!!! MY WIFE ISN’T MOVING! THERE IS SO MUCH BLOOD!”

Op: “Breath. What’s the address?”

L: “Um-UhUm Thirteen… Uh-Um, Thirteen-Thirteen Infinity Drive. IT’S MY – It’s my wife’s art gallery.”

Op: “Help is on the way. Try to breathe and tell me what happened.”

L: “I DON’T KNOW! Uh I came in and she was on the ground unconscious in a pool of blood. Her pants are pulled down. Her exboyfriend is on the ground not moving either, Uh he’s attacked her before. I think he tried to rape her or…”

She didn’t want to think about if he succeeded.

Op: “Alright, is she breathing?”

Lexa put her hands-on Clarkes midsection and felt movement.

L: (Yelled in relief) “YES!!”

Op: “Ok, great. Besides her pants being down, is she clothed?”

L: “Yes, *Chokes* but… Just _please_ come!”

Op: “Help is on the way, ok? Just stay on the line till they arrive. You said there was blood, is she bleeding? Is he?”

L: “Uh…”

She moved her hands on Clarke, looked at her head, found a small gash on the back. Looked at each arm, her legs. One of her hands had a deep cut on the palm, she gathered a large wad of toilet paper, crumbling it in the pallid bloody hand. She rolled her over on her side and she was covered in red, her heart stopped. Lifting her shirt up, she rubbed her hands across her slippery back, looking for open wounds past the film of dark liquid. She found none and continued to the blonde’s legs. _‘Baby, I am so sorry.’_

L: “No, she isn’t… not much, it must be all him.”

Op: “Can you tell where the w-”

She didn’t hear the rest as sirens were now blaring, red and blues bounced off the wet street and windows. Waving her hands in the air, directing them to the gallery, they ran in. Talking, everyone was talking, words and acronyms she didn’t know. The group in uniform and with bags of medical items surrounded her love. Shouting questions at her, she answered as best she could. They split into two cells, one putting an oxygen mask on Clarke and placing her on a stretcher. The other, pronouncing Finn dead at the scene.

\-----------------------------------------------------

At the hospital, Lexa made four calls.

Anya (A): “Hey hey hey, little sister!”

L: (Despondent) “Is Raven there?”

A: (Concerned) “Uh, yeah she is. Wh-”

L: “Can you put me on speaker… Alone only you two.”

A: “Uh, sure?”

Raven (R): (Confused) “Hey Lexa. Whats goi-”

L: (Exhausted) “I need you two to pick up Madi from her friend Charlotte’s house at uhhhhh *Looks at the time on her phone* now and keep her until I come get her. I’m at the hospital, Finn attacked Clarke.”

R: (Scared & Angry) “WHAT THE FUCK! IS SHE OK?”

L: “I think so. I don’t know, when I found her, she was unconscious… Finn is dead.”

A: “Fuck… Raven are-”

R: *Sniff* “I’m fine shut up. Yes, we’ll get her and keep her. Keep us updated on her.”

L: “Yeah…”

(Phone call ends)

Her second call is Charlotte’s parents to inform them of the change. Her third call was the one she was dreading.

Callie (C): “Hello dear, how are ya doin?”

Silence

C: “Lexa? Honey, what’s wrong?”

L: (Scratchy Voice) “Is Marcus there? I need to talk to you guys.”

C: “Um Yes, hun. MARCUS!”

Few seconds.

Marcus (Mc): (Background) “Yes, darling… Callie, What’s wrong?”

C: (Background. Worried) “Lexa needs to talk to us.”

M: “Hey Lexa, what going on?”

L: “Am I on speaker?”

C: “Yes.”

L: “Are we alone?”

C: “Yes.”

L: (Slowly breaks down) “Um…. *Sniff* Ah *Clears throat* Cl-Clarke…”

M: (Scared but gentle) “Take your time darling, what happened?”

L: “Um, Finn……. attacked Clarke. She’s in the hospital, I-I don’t know if she’s ok. Finn…… Finns dead.”

For what felt like forever, she only heard her own heartbeat in her ears, pounding like galping horse’s hoofs punching the ground. Then a cry that only a mother could make came across the line. She heard Marcus insistently saying his wife’s name over again, it sounded like the phone fell and tumbled on the ground, she hung up. The fourth and final phone call was one that was made on a whim, – a need really – to her mother.

Indra (I): “Sweety! I’ve been-”

L: (Emotional) “MOM! Clarke was attacked and is in the hospital. I-”

I: (To the point) “What hospital?”

\-----------------------------------------------------

Lexa paces back and forth, sits on a chair, leans up against a wall, all throughout a half-hour. When Indra shows up, she in sitting on the floor with her arms hugging her knees, head lightly banging on the wall. She feels a presence sitting next to her, that’s her only warning when she is pulled into a hard one-armed hug. Numb, the only feeling in her body, _‘Why?’_. “I’m pregnant.”, she whispers with a tone of being hurt from the world. Indra pulls back a bit to look into her daughter’s eyes, “I found out this morning, I was on my way to tell her when…”, she pulled back into a hug.

L: (Angry) “I was supposed to protect her. I should have been there to protect her.”

I: *Kissed the top of her head* “Oh sweetie… what an impossible task you have given yourself.”

Minutes of silence

L: (Panicking) “What if she doesn’t wake up? I’ll be a single mother with another on the way!”

I: (Stern) “Hey! You stop that right now!” (Calm) “If anything happens to her, you have me, your father, your sister… You have us, that will never change, you will never be alone. Madi loves you and you will do what Clarke would want you to do for both your children. And If you don’t I will. But we don’t have to discuss things you already know; Clarke will be fine. The strength in that woman… I don’t know that much about what happened to her in her past, but I recognize it, she is a true warrior. She _will_ pull through.”

Twenty minutes later (but it felt like an eternity), a nurse walked over, “Mrs. Griffin?”. Lexa stands up so fast, she gets a head rush, “Is she ok!?! Can I see her?!?!”. The nurse has an understanding in his soft brown eyes, “You’re the wife, correct?”. “Uh- Fiancé… Um Alexandria – Lexa, its short for… Lexa woods, is she ok!?”, she was getting pissed and fumbling on what she was trying to say. “She is on Oxygen. We got her levels back to normal. We don’t know how long she was without oxygen. Until she wakes up, we won’t know if there are any long-term repercussions. But, we did a MRI on her brain and it showed normal brain activity, so we are hopeful that she’ll make a full recovery.”.

Her thoughts were going a million miles an hour, “She is in ICU, that’s the third floor. P-Room thirty-six. Here, I wrote it down”. He must have seen the far away look in her eyes because he handed her a slip of paper. She whispered a thank you to him and was off. Every few steps she’d look at the paper, reading it. It was like if she didn’t keep an eye on the ink, it would disappear, memorizing was the back up. She was on a mission to get to Clarke and she _was not_ going to get lost.

\-----------------------------------------------------

Waiting was not Lexa’s strong suit, never was. But throughout her life in foster care, she got used to it. She learned to go through periods of time feeling helpless, her skin crawled with want of change, and the anger. She sat there in the small white room she hated, having Déjà vu. _‘Fucking white rooms! What the fuck did I do to deserve this? You’re gonna take another wife from me? Seriously?!?!’_ , she screamed in her mine. As it was the only place she could scream, she did it with all her might, a white-knuckled grip on the arm of her chair type of might.

“You’re getting old and if you keep up with that face, you’ll start to get wrinkles.”, a ruff voice came out. Looking up in surprise, those beautiful blues were finally visible. Her heart cried for her, the whites of Clarke’s eyes were red, bloodshot. She jumped up from the bed and placed the oxygen mask back on the blonde’s mouth and nose, yelling for the nurse.

\-----------------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLOT SUMMERY:  
> Finn shows up drunk, ambushing Clarke in the bathroom at the gallery. He attacks her and touches her inappropriately. Clarke tries to fight but Finn hits her and smashes her against a mirror, shattering said mirror. Clarke tricks Finn faking getting into having sex with him. She stabs him in the chest with a broken mirror piece and he chocks her until she passes out and he bleeds out.   
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> MY QUOTES OF THE DAY:  
> “Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.”  
> -Isaac Asimov  
> “I write about violence as naturally as Jane Austen wrote about manners. Violence shapes and obsesses our society, and if we do not stop being violent we have no future.”  
> -Edward Bond  
> “Power and violence are opposites; where the one rules absolutely, the other is absent. Violence appears where power is in jeopardy, but left to its own course it ends in power's disappearance.  
> -Hannah Arendt
> 
> [FUN FACTS: Suicide and homicide account for more than 80% of violence-related deaths. Of those killed by violence, 58% die by their own hand, 36% because of injuries inflicted by another person, and 6% as a direct result of war or some other form of collective violence.]  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> And there is Ch 36 I hope you liked it! 
> 
> Tell me what you think, I love comments so please go ahead and share your thoughts! 
> 
> 11/10/2019


End file.
